How do I forgot Mother and let her back in my life?

@jen20619 (1300)
Ireland
December 24, 2006 8:05am CST
My mother and I have had a rocky relationship.Shes always critisized me for almost everything.Shes always made me feel like I wasnt good enough while growing up.I had this with me til I was an adult thinking Im useless until I had my daughter I realised my mom was wronge .For everything she said and done.Now she is over visiting her Grandchild.I have such a wall up I cant let her get close to me.I let her visit her Grandchild and she is becoming increasingly nice to me.I realy feel she wants to mend the past .I dont know if I can forgive her for the upbringing I had?
5 people like this
41 responses
@royrules1 (180)
• India
25 Dec 06
i understand ur feelings all u could do is u have to talk with your mom for some time so that she will definately feel happy she might have the same feeling which she will not know that its because of ur past so talk to u mom !
• India
29 Jan 07
definately she will feel happy.
@rice5899 (193)
• United States
24 Dec 06
I know exactly what you are going through because I have had the same issues with my mother and therefore I do not talk to her at all. She always made me an emotional wreck and I dont have the greatest self esteem all due to her. I would say that you should just let her make the first move, try to make yourself as comfortable as you can when you are around her.
• China
25 Dec 06
mother is mother. parents always take care of their kids no matter what the kids do for them. you should forgive ur mom. i always argue with my mom ,but she does not care about it. after we fight ,she still look after my daily. so i am alway proud of that i have a great mother.
@spcbrass (1190)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Eventually it will be up to you to forgive her for things that have happened in the past. You probably did learn some very valuable lessons from your experience. I am sure that you are going to raise your daughter a lot better because of the hard times that you went through growing up. Over time your mother may have finally realized the error of her ways. If she is making the attempt to get close to you then at least give her the opportunity to make things right.
@utsadetti (4589)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Mom everywhere is always like that. Try to control and talkative! you just let her be like that. it's okay.
• India
24 Dec 06
I would say, forget the past and forget what your mom did. Your mom is being nice to you, so u too be nice with her, unless she doesnt have any mean reason for being nice(figure that out first).
• India
29 Jan 07
it will be fruitfull that forget past, come to the present.
@andygogo (1579)
• China
4 Jan 07
I thins one should respect his mother, even she is wrong, take it easy, there aren't many questions between you two, have a talk.
@birthlady (5609)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Allow your mother to mend the past. She is only human. Moms are people too. Forgive her for the upbringing you had. You will feel free when you forgive her.
@manu224 (1130)
• Italy
3 Jan 07
Forgive your mother, there's alone a mommy
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
25 Dec 06
you need to qiut liveing the pass.an get on with the furture.your mother being nice so maybe she trying to make it up to you in her own way.enjoy her while you have her an be gratefull.some people is not forunate to have their mother.give her a hug ,an enjoy her!
@nhelyma (181)
• Philippines
25 Dec 06
you have to forgive her... Our God take forgiven us from our sins, how cant you forgive your own mothr? evrything that happe to you has its own reason.! look at the result of that experiences .. i think you are very strong now and can face different challenges in life.!and that is because of your mom .. just forget the past and live into the present situation, i believe your mother feel sorry too in the things she has done.!and she's exactly want to prove her sorry for loving her grandchild.!and also you,...Good Luck!
• United States
25 Dec 06
I used to feel very uncomfortable with some of the things my mother did and said to me, not to that extent but enough to make me wonder if I could ever feel close to her. But I realized one day that no matter how badly she seemed to have messed certain things up, as long as I'm okay with the person I am today, I can't hold too much of a grudge against her. My upbringing at her hands is part of what made me who and what I am. Sure, there are things about myself that I dislike, and things about her that I dislike, but overall, I'm alright with where we both ended up. So, I forgave, but never forgot, and we have a much better relationship today.
@xiongqh (791)
• Hong Kong
25 Dec 06
just let something smothingly, and don't need force yourself
• Romania
25 Dec 06
in the end she is still your mother, to fill good you must forgive here becouse now you know he treat you wrong.Over the year maiby she realise that he did wrong...and she is sorry.Forgive here now becouse life is short and laternot to be sorry you didn't let here the chance to prove you that she was bad to you.
• Qatar
25 Dec 06
yes u r right mom is important person in life.she always advices her child to follow right path.but some children fail to understand this when they r near to mom.later on poor kids realize oh my mom is very precious for me
• India
25 Dec 06
well... things change wid time... life is very short... no use of sticking to bad things...forgiv her..and move on
• India
25 Dec 06
i think mother is a person who always thinks about child development so don't loose ur mother at any cost
@soldenski (2503)
• United States
25 Dec 06
My mother and I had the same type of relationship, except she alway's choose my brother over me. He was first in everything, and could do no wrong in her eye's. Now, I take care of her, do everything for her, do her dialysis everyday for her, pay her bills, wash her clothes, EVERYTHING you could think of, I do for her. And guess what, she still favor's him over me and thinks the world of everything he does. You get use to it. You don't forget, but sometime's you forgive. I have learned to look the other way, for the sake of my children. Maybe, you won't have a close relationship with her, and you won't forget all the wrong she has dealt you, but as a mother, you will do anything for your child, and that includes, having some sort of relationship with your mother. Good luck, we both need it lol
@thumper2 (127)
• United States
25 Dec 06
This will be hard, but it sounds like you are a strong person, try to forget the pain in the past relationship, and treat her with great amounts of love. Try to enjoy her from this point on, show her how great of a mother you are to your child - maybe you can be an example to her on how a mother should be. Sounds like she wants to be involved in your life but maybe she doesn't know how exactly or she's scared of rejection from you - unconditional love is the key. Time will heal all wounds, you may not be able to forget everything. Sometimes it's good not to forget - when you remember the what you went thru as a child, you will be very careful not to cause your child that same pain. You can still love her, you don't have to like the things she did though. I hope this makes some sense to you. Best Wishes.
@albs00 (36)
• United States
25 Dec 06
my husband never forgave his mother. well maybe he did, he just didn't have much to do with her. somehow he never got over the things she did to him growing up. she wasn't physically abusive or anything like that. she just did seem to care much about him. She gambled alot and they lost their home and everything in it because of her. he really didn't seem to have alot of feeling towards her when i met him. i guess he had already gone through what he needed to, in order to move on with his life.
@smaj57 (5)
• Pakistan
25 Dec 06
I only tell u one thing, Make relations besides all things if one is coming towards u, u take 2 steps towards, and in UR case there is UR mother.... My friend..