Should I tell my friend I caught her boyfriend cheating?

cheating - Picture of a man with another woman
@jen20619 (1302)
Ireland
December 26, 2006 9:23am CST
Just before Christmas I went for a night out with my work mates.I was there drinking with my colleagues and having a laugh.I looked across the room and I couldnt believe what I saw.My close friends boyfriend getting off with another girl.He had his arms around her kissing her and laughing together.My friend totaly trusts her boyfriend.Im worried that if I tell her what I saw she might not believe me and think Im trying to ruin things between them.I dont know if I want to get involved by telling her.But I also feel Im betraying her by not telling her what I saw.What should I do?
14 people like this
201 responses
@trish32 (1471)
• United States
26 Dec 06
You should tell her. She may be upset and not believe you at first, but this is normal. Stand by your friend and be there to help her through the tough times when she realizes what's really going on. She will thank you for it eventually.
1 person likes this
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@Mommamea (1215)
• United States
27 Dec 06
It is hard to get a friend to believe what you saw. I would actually wait until they are together and tell the boyfriend "that was a very pretty girl you were with at ---- the other night. I was wondering why you didn't introduce me to her?" or something of that nature. You will put the boyfriend on the spot and let the girlfriend know something wasn't right about what you saw. She herself will question him and she will know if he is lying or not if she opens her eyes. Put the situation on the boyfriend and your friend wont think you are trying to do anything wrong. Wouldn't you want to know if your boyfriend was cheating on you? Why wait until she finds out he is a cheater until the feelings grow stronger?
• Malaysia
27 Dec 06
Don't go straight to your friend and tell her the bad news. Instead, you should make an effort so that your girlfriend will see her boyfriend with that girl. when she sees it with her two eyes, then she will have no choice but to believe you.
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
yes you must tell your friend BUT you must in a very diplomatic manner as not to let her hates you for not believing you..
@reeadeli (55)
• Indonesia
27 Dec 06
u shouldn't ask it again of course u have to tell her it's better if she knows it soon, in order she doesn't have many hopes with him and she can solve this problem with her boyfiend
1 person likes this
@MzLefty (311)
• United States
27 Dec 06
That is going to be a hard decision,because if you tell her and she gets made at you for telling her,then you have kind of hurt your friendship,and if you d not tell her and she finds out from someone else and finds out that you knew and did not tell her,then she will still be upset with you.If I were you ,I would maybe sent her a letter,but do not let her know that it is from you,then if she wants to talk to you about it,you can give her some advice on the situation.
@TerryZ (22082)
• United States
27 Dec 06
If you are true friends you should tell your friend what you saw. Wouldnt you want the same? If they dont believe you thats ok at least you told them. It best to be honest and true to your friend.
@dynamite (74)
• Canada
27 Dec 06
I also think you should confront him and tell him if he doesn't tell her, then you will. But, don't pretend you never saw this because your friend might end up being even more hurt if she catches him cheating on her.
1 person likes this
@sharone74 (4838)
• United States
27 Dec 06
I definitely think that you should tell her, she would be devistated if she found out that you knew and didn't let her know that he was out there making a fool of her for everyone to see.
@ilvrshn (463)
• United States
26 Dec 06
Wow, that is crazy! I had been in a predicament like that before but my best friend husband was actually putting the moods on me so I didn't want to tell her because I didn't want her to not to trust me around the house. Mind you now, me and her have been friends for over 10 years now. This happen like 2 years ago and I just told her about it like 5 months ago. In your situation, I would take her out to lunch or whatever and lay everything out on the table.
@xXmeganxX (4421)
26 Dec 06
i would definetly tell her if that was my friend, im sure she won't be happy but if she finds out one day that you knew and didn't tell her she certainly won't be happy and i don't think she would class you as a good friend for not telling her! hope all goes well :)
• United States
27 Dec 06
HELL yea you need to tell him
• Philippines
27 Dec 06
as per my suggestion...you should tell your friend first before her boyfriend makes up stories of you. what if he saw you that night?
• United States
26 Dec 06
That is a tough call and she might not believe you, you could go to him and tell him what you saw and tell him either he tells her or you will. I'm sure she will be upset with you if she finds out you knew and didnt tell her.
• Philippines
26 Dec 06
yeah..talk to her boyfriend first and if he still won't tell her about it then you should. if your friend still doesn't believe you then sooner or later the truth will come out.
@shadow9 (238)
• Romania
27 Dec 06
i agree ... you should talk to that idiot and tell him that u saw him and see what he was doing or what he was thinking ... IF he was thinking! ... or if he was drunk ... if he was drunk than he might have an excuse but still he should tell her and say hes sorry and stuf and it will be up to them to work it out ... i don't think you should get to involved and tell her yourself whitout talking to him first ...
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@mindz_me (179)
• Philippines
2 Jan 07
I think its better to tell ur friend what u have seen, and advice her not to confront his boyfriend about it,just advice her to observe his boyfriend actions first then make a move on how to caught him in the act. In that way i think she wont think that ur just making stories.
@mindz_me (179)
• Philippines
2 Jan 07
some corrections hehe *her boyfriend*
• India
26 Dec 06
there can be two solutions. 1.if you talk to her bf then please approach her bf and tell him that you caught him red handed the other day with some other girl and that what he was doing is betraying your friend.you must make him understand that your friend fully trust him and what he is doing is not right.you must also tell him that he should stop all this and next time if you find him in a similar situation then you are going to report it to her.i think you should give a last chance. i think if you tell your friend about this then she might be hurt a lot.moreover there might be misunderstanding between you too also.so you must give that guy another chance so that he should change in the meantime.but if you find him in a similar situation next time then its your duty to inform your friend before its too late.all the best
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@classy56 (2881)
• United States
26 Dec 06
i would tell them.thats what bf are for the be honset with each other.if they get mad it will only be for a while.explain that you are not trying to hurt them an tell them what you saw
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@asadahsan (723)
• Pakistan
26 Dec 06
well my dear you are a friend and you are a true friend of your friend so you have to tell her what you have see this is another matter that she belive you or not but this is your duty to inform her and i think she will listen you you have to tell her what you will earn to tell her lie so she needed to do tust if she can't do so you have to leave her ou have done your duty...and i think if she dun belive so she will be aware but i think that she will trust you....
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@pvinay (210)
• India
26 Dec 06
i believe in trueth , i think not only me but most of us believe in trueth . as a good friend its ur resposibility that u must tell her what ever u have been seen . if she is ur good friend then i think she must think once whole thing what ever u told her . u just tell her story ...dont tell anything what should u have to do . let them make her own decision . and i think one day she will find the trueth .
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
• United States
26 Dec 06
Yes, you should tell her. If you are as close to her as you say, she will believe you. If she accuses you of trying to ruin things, she is not a real friend. She will have to find out on her own.
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
• India
26 Dec 06
just go thru all the advatages & disadvantages & tell her
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@xtinelee (3374)
• Singapore
26 Dec 06
You should have took out your camera and snapped a picture of the bf with another girl, and showed it to your good friend. If she still doesn't believe you, forget it. She'll find out by herself someday.
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you
@tambdy (1968)
26 Dec 06
Yes if you are a good friend then you should tell her that her boyfriend is unfaithful, i know this could leave you in the situation which your friend just thinks that you are being jelous but as always the truth will come out in the end and your friend will relise that you are only being a good friend and that will bring use alot closer together.
@jen20619 (1302)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thank you