How would you handle this???

I know!! That's how my step-dad's family did my sister and I too. Eventually we were not even allowed to come in their house, we would be made to sit in the truck for hours and hours in the winter time! But, that's my mother's fault for being a drunk idiot. And that's another story. I just think that they shouldn't of bought anything at all if that's the way they were going to be. It will NOT happen again. I won't take my kids there, and I'm half tempted to refuse the gifts all together next year. Also, I didn't recieve anything at all and my name was not even placed on the darn Christmas cards. And I DO get along with everyone, so it's not like I'm causing them to act like that, I'm always respectful, I bring cards and gifts for EVERYONE...making sure all names are on each for each family. I just don't understand the rudeness, and I don't want to say anything becuz I don't want them having the satisfaction of knowing that it bothers me. We do all feel like out casts. I don't mind them making me feel like that, but it really upsets me about the kids...we won't be going next year! THank you for the response!

Almost 2 years.

How long have u guys been together? just curious..

My husband's family treat my 2 babies (15 months (boy) & 4 1/2 months (girl)) the same as the other kids. I didn't expect much for my younger one this holiday season, not because I don't think they don't love her, but because she has been in the NICU since birth & they are limited in what they can recieve. Some of her presents are waiting at home for her, but most were NICU safe. :)

No, I haven't said anything. I don't know how to without sounding rude and disrespectful. He's very defensive anyways. I give up. I'm just going to stay away! Thank you for the response!

VERY GOOD IDEA! Thank you!

Thanks :-) ...I have taught them that they are very fortunate to receive anything at all, especially because they are NOT the most well behaved children. And even though we don't have a lot of money, each child (all 9) picked one of their gifts to take down to the mission center here and gave it to the less fortunate kids. And to my surprise this made them VERY happy! They can be good kids....sometimes, lol. Thanks for the response!

It's not just the grandparents, its' the whole family. And my kids were grateful!

kudos to you....and my plus for the page

They know the gifts aren't what's important, but it still hurts their feelings.

then thats where you need to step in. You also don't (if you do that is) be negative about what happens. kids pick up on how we react and everything. We as adults/parents need to step in and smooth things over not pull away from the problem.

Keeping your distance is the right thing to do either. It may put a strain on your relationship with you and your boyfriend.

OMG, I can't believe you said I was intruding! I AM and my kids ARE a part of the family, whether they agree or not. I don't agree with you , and I don't want to argue. Thank you for your opinion. I won't be going there again. Problem solved.

It's not the grandparents, it's the WHOLE family. And I don't think I'm over-reacting because it's happened TWICE. And I don't want to be invited if you are going to treat my children like that! It's not fair to the kids...and it's pretty bad when my kids act more like adults than the real adults do. Thank you for your opinion.

Thank you for the response! Yes, next year I think we will be going to my family's for Christmas...And I'm sure that my family will spend the same amount on ALL the children!

I'm scared to say anything to the family or to him. I'm just going to go to my family's next year. Cause I can't stand the looks on their poor little faces. Thank you for the response!

I think you've misunderstood...I'm talking about OUR Kids, mine and my boyfriends...not thiers!!! We have 9 kids, his four and my five. I don't expect anyone to buy for all those kids, but if they are going to , I think it should be done fairly. It's not an option to do it before or after, we all arrive and leave at the same time!

Yeah the gifts should be equal, especially if they are exchanging them in front of you and your kids. I think it is possible though that his family does not realize how inconsiderate that is, they are probably just trying to save money and dont really know that your kids can tell the difference. I think if you were tactful enough you could talk to them and get your point across without making them mad. Or you could have your boyfriend bring it up since it is his family. You could also take your kids out and get them a little something to make up for the cheap gifts too. I remember when I was a kid I used to feel left out because my brother and sisters dad would buy them gifts only and my dad was not around so my mom would always buy me an extra present to make up for it.

I do tell my kids that!!! And your right~it's not about how much the present costs, it's the thought that counts, but when the WHOLE family does this to them, it's sadddddddd. If it was just one or two people I could let it go, but it's the whole family and it's like they want you to know it. It's just not fair. And we won't be going next year. Thank you for the response.

its true it is the thought that counts but also how much thought do theyput into a general store foam football? i know people say be happy that you got anything at all but if they put alot of thought into others presents and none into your presents you cant help but e hurt because it wasent a thought ,...more like a afterthought so that they wouldnt seem outright evil and could claim the old "its the thought that counts" its crap tho my uncle buys me and my sister a new CD every year or christmas ,thats prety cheap as it is but we have a baby siste now that is 3 years old and 12 years younger he has ever met and he sent her a beauty and the beast mcdonalds toy that is stamped made for mcdonalds corporation on the bottom ....still that old have been fine even i guess had they been new but they were used and missing the part that went in the stand becaue they were picked up from a yard sale. everyone was angry and thought isnt my baby sister worth more than a broken mcdondalds toy on christmas? some people are so shockingly rude and insensitive and cheap they would do better to just not give you anything at all and do presents with just thier kids at a different time and not in front r send crap to others

Exactly! It is the thought that counts! And it could of been something that their kids colored on some construction paper, as long as all the kids recieved the same thing! It's really not about the money they spent on the gifts, it's about making it obvious that they spent more on his kids. The kids didn't ask to be put in this relationship, and they shouldn't be punished for it. Thank you very much for the response!

Thank you so much for the kind words. I understand what you are trying to say. I really messed up today. My boyfriend and I got into a fight about something else, and I brought this up out of anger, and I should not have. Everything is ok now, and he says that he will just buy extra gifts next year and put those people's names on it. I don't think that we should have to do this but hey, it's all about the kids...So, I will do whatever it takes to get along. Thank you so much for your response! Have a great day...and Happy New Year!

Thank you so much for the kind words. I understand what you are trying to say. I really messed up today. My boyfriend and I got into a fight about something else, and I brought this up out of anger, and I should not have. Everything is ok now, and he says that he will just buy extra gifts next year and put those people's names on it. I don't think that we should have to do this but hey, it's all about the kids...So, I will do whatever it takes to get along and make the kids happy. Thank you so much for your response! Have a great day...and Happy New Year!