Noisy neighbours - Should I do something?
By BittyBiddy
@BittyBiddy (2903)
Ireland
December 27, 2006 4:45pm CST
Ok, this is embarrassing, but our neighbours are fairly prone to haveing a little "bedtime" fun together. They're quite noisy about it though. For example, the window in our bedroom was slightly open last night and we could hear them laughing, giggling, then later on making.....em......other "animal type" noises (very embarrassing). There have been times when this has happened in broad daylight too. This house is two doors up from us so they are pretty loud when they get going. There was one day when a group of kids were standing outside open mouthed and I had to distract them.
I don't know whether this couple know that they can be heard outside. And now I'm wondering should I say something to them. Other neighbours have mentioned it to us and they are (especially the men) having a good laugh at their expense. The thing is this couple aren't young. They're in their fifties or sixties and very "well to do" people outside. (Picture Hyacinth Bucket and her husband). I could probably joke about it with another young couple, but I don't know what to do in this case, or if I should do anything. It's just that it's embarrassing when the kids start asking what the noises are. Anyone got any advice?
15 people like this
109 responses
@lilaclady (28207)
• Australia
27 Dec 06
It is a hard area when you know you have to live next to these people, unless you can put your concerns in a really nice way there is going to be hard feelings, I am so glad I have nice neighbours.
2 people like this
@hackedmind (271)
• India
28 Dec 06
well sorry for u first .....their r lots of ways to solve this problem i will suggest u some of them try it and hope it works in u'r case...........the first u should take is go and talk to them politely take some gifts such as flowers ,or invite them for dinner ......as u said they r old when u do this thing they will bbe embarressed by all this ....they will think that our neighbour's r so good and we r creating problem for them, once u'r successful in putting this in their mind u'r through ......doing all this is really tough but if u want to solve this problem u will have to do this ..............best of luck
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
You see those are great suggestions but I really don't think I could mention this to them at all. I'd say they'd be really embarrassed. I love the idea of inviting them for dinner but I think I'd chicken out of saying anything.
@calilove143 (237)
• United States
30 Dec 06
Write a note to them and tell them about it,and you dnt have to write your name,just knock on their door and put the note and leave.GOOD LUCK
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
I think things are going to be ok. There has been absolutely no noise the last couple of nights and both neighbours waved at me today so I guess there are no hard feelings (no pun intended)
1 person likes this
@Alexandria37 (5717)
• Ireland
27 Dec 06
Well, at least they are not throwing cups and saucers at each other. I think that would be a much worse scenario. Isn't it nice that they are still so romantically involved at their age. I wish the noise that comes from my neighbours house was a quiet. For the last six hours, they have been constantly banging doors and presses. On Christmas eve, they had a drum machine almost lifting the roof until the early hours of the morning. The noise is so bad now, that I have to start looking for a new house after Christmas. However, to get back to your problem, I would write a nice little note and put it through their letterbox. Best of luck.
2 people like this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
I'm sorry to hear about your neighbours Alexandria. That's terrible. I have to say that at least our neighbours are nice even though they are loud at times. And, if we close our windows then we usually don't hear them. Maybe you'll get a few suggestions from here as to what to do about your neighbours. I might take your advice and put a note in their letterbox but do it anonymously.
@catlyn087 (45)
• United States
30 Dec 06
that is exactly what I was going to suggest.. write them a letter. Definately be polite about it and explain that you have small children who are asking you what these sounds are, and maybe ask if they could close their window or play some music, so that when the sounds do get to you.. hopefully it will just be their music =). Good luck
@ksstormhunter (792)
• United States
27 Dec 06
Oh man that is a tough but funny situation, I dont think there is much you can do, it is in their privacy of their own home, maybe turn the music up or play a movie with louder volume. Really in a tough spot in that one, you might check to see if you guys have quiet hours after a certain time, but I think that is all you can do.
2 people like this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
I know. It is kind of funny when you think about it. If we shut the window the noise isn't too bad. It's just I'm more embarrassed for them actually....which maybe I shouldn't be......I don't know. Turning up music is out as it's usually quite late at night when this goes on, and then we're trying to sleep. :)
@killj0y (618)
• United States
30 Dec 06
mmm...normally i would say what a couple does in the privacy of their own house is not of any one else's business but when it starts to interfer with outsiders lives (espcially children) thats where I would draw the line. I think someone should definatenly tell them that everyone can hear them, like you said they might not even be aware of this in which case that should solve the problem. If everyone is too embarrassed to tell them to their faces perhaps a polite note could be written and slipped into their mailbox. If all else fails and worse comes to worse theres always phoning the police and filing a complaint for "disturbing the peace".
anyway, good luck with your little...uh..neighbor problem.
@emisle (3822)
• Ireland
27 Dec 06
lol! sorry, i suppose if it was happening to me it wouldn't be quite so funny!...that's a tricky situation, because if you mention something to them they're probably going to be really really embarrassed and may feel ashamed around the neighbours.
And if you don't tell them, they will have people laughing at them behind their backs and as you say, the children will be asking questions....personally i think i'd spare their feelings, and install the thickest glass windows into my bedroom that i could find!
Good luck..:)
1 person likes this
@sylviekitty (2083)
• United States
28 Dec 06
Seriously.. they shouldn't have to feel ashamed. They are still able to enjoy each other. This is a good thing! :) I think somebody else had a really great idea about giving an anonymous note or something, if it's really that upsetting to people.
2 people like this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Oh don't get me wrong. I think it's lovely that they enjoy each other so much. It's just.........if you heard the noises......*blush*......
Maybe it's the fact that they've no children living with them any more that they feel that they can be so er......vocal......I have never in my life heard anything like this........not even in the movies, LOL!!!
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
28 Dec 06
I guess it depends on how close you are with your neighbors. If you can talk to her easily, make a mention about it and let them know that they're sometimes the butt of jokes because they're so loud. Sort of laughingly let them know to turn on some music or something to keep it all contained.
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Thanks hockeygal. I sort of took on all the advice here and mentioned it to her. I'll let you know what happens. It's all quiet tonight at the moment. LOL!
@babykay (2131)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
I am laughing very hard here as I think of something in the distant past...when I was in my first flat, my neighbour who had a flat in the same building, used to be rather 'enthusiastic' in the bedroom, so much so that everyone in the entire house could hear her and whoever she was entertaining, The landlord, who was old and dithery came knocking on the door of my flat one day, he had called to the building to collect the rent and all I could hear him saying was that I had to call an ambulance, Kathy (my neighbour) was having an asthma attack, she sounded very bad!!
I suggest you drop hints to your neighbour, maybe say that you hear strange noises coming out of their house? Otherwise you could always just leave it, somebody else will be sure to tell them if you don't!!
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
LOL @ the asthma attack.
I lived in a house a few years back, and when the couple next door were "at it", you could hear their bed banging against the wall (I hope it was the bed and not someone's head). This happened a couple of times a week, but the next door neighbour was constantly complaining about pain in her back. I longed to tell her that I wasn't surprised. :D
@chertsy (3798)
• United States
30 Dec 06
You can write a letter discussing this. Put it in an envelope and put in there door so that they can read it together in private. Just don't make the letter so bad that they will stop it all together.
What would be bad is that they are hard of hearing, and the noises that you hear is coming from there tv, lol.
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
I was going to say that they're not the sort of couple I'd imagine watching sexually explicit movies........but then I thought, they're not the sort of couple I would have pictured BEING sexually explicit in the first place. :o
@Eskimo (2315)
•
14 Jan 07
Really difficult to give advice on this, as even trying to make a joke about this could cause problems. In the U.K. could get an ASBO (Anti Social Behaviour Order) taken out against them, or a complaint to Environmental Health about the amount of noise coming from the house).
I would imagine that the couple would be unaware of the problem and embarrasement that they are causing to their neighbours.
I don't know if an anonymous letter would help, probably would cause more trouble. It may be better trying to diplomatically and discretely tell them.
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
14 Jan 07
Well, this is what I've tried to do and, thankfully, there hasn't been any trouble since. God love the poor woman. I felt her embarassment when I hinted at her about the bit of noise.
1 person likes this
@mkkid28 (267)
•
28 Dec 06
our neighbours are always banging doors, screaming and one signs with hi-fi on full blast out of the window (people walking by dont know what the hell is going on)
a few weeks back someone put a for sale sign up in their garden - i was happy but it was just somebody messing around - damn it, lol
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
I'm sorry to hear that your neighbours are so noisy. At least I can close the window and I don't hear mine as much. I had neighbours a few months ago that were really mad and were up till 3.30/4.00 in the morning running up and down the stairs, laughing and talking. They were kicked out by the landlord in the end.
@loliva (3)
• United States
29 Dec 06
This is what I would do. Say something to the effect that you were concerned that some noise from your place(party or children fighting, etc) was louder than it should have been and wanted to apoligize if the noise disturbed them. Kind of point out that you figured that since you can hear whats going on in others places that surely others could hear "whatever" the other day from your place. Good Luck!!
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
30 Dec 06
Well there was no noise last night, but that's not to say that they mightn't have been taking a rest. LOL! We'll just see what happens over the weekend.
@ElusiveButterfly (45939)
• United States
28 Dec 06
They may already know that other people can hear their mating calls. Some people get excited over the fact that they can be heard. It is a shame that young people have to bear witness to this. Mating calls should be done while the windows are shut to avoid a scene caused by a gathering of people outside the home of the hornytoads.
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
LOL @ the hornytoads reference. That's funny, but oh God I never thought that they might actually WANT people to hear them. :o
@krislouiebaby (2347)
• Philippines
28 Dec 06
my family and i are doing that same thing, we laugh and play everytime we are together, but our neighbors are happy for us,they even join us and they are having fun, loud noise,laughing ang singing..
there is a syaing that if you cannot beat... them join them!
i am sure you will be happy with them..sweetie do not spoil their fun,,,are you not happy for them having fun?
relax...
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
LMAO!!! I can just see myself ringing their doorbell and asking do they mind if I and my husband join them. LOL!!
@missjackie (1358)
• Ypsilanti, Michigan
28 Dec 06
As long as they're in their own home, I don't see any problems with it.
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Hmmm.......yes, some people think they can do what they like in their own home, even if it's distressing to the people around them. Luckily this isn't distressing for me, it's just that I don't think young children outside should be subjected to these noises during the daytime, and I feel embarrassed for the couple because of the way people are talking.
@xXmeganxX (4421)
•
28 Dec 06
the best thing to do is what shoelover said LOL or if not then knock at there house and have a word with them politley, i think that's the only best option i can think of. that is well embarrasing, if she lived next to me id bang on her wall haha, ive done it to some neighbour before and they soon shut up. hope all goes well in what you decide to do hehe! :O)
1 person likes this
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
See, if I lived next door I'd have banged on the wall a few times. I'm two doors up though. Anyway, I think there's enough banging being done. LOL!
There are a group of guys living next door to this couple and they think it's hilarious. This is what worries me, that they make such a joke about it.
@James72 (26790)
• Australia
28 Dec 06
This is pretty funny! My advice is to record the noises one night and then at some random time of the day when you know they are both watching TV or relaxing at home play back the recording at the highest possible volume level! Their response would be pretty interesting I reckon and it would be unlikely that you would hear them again!
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
LOL!!! Nice one. Yes, I could play it back when she's out weeding the garden and he's washing the car. :D
@BittyBiddy (2903)
• Ireland
28 Dec 06
Now why didn't I think of that? Yep, I'll just go to www.hireaneighbourterminatornow.com. Cheers! LOL!
