Forgiveness

This is true although it is always nice to hear an apology from the offender. It is ultimately up to the individual and how they think about it as whether they forgive and quit carrying around this burden. Also the offender likewise has to change his own thinking as well.

I do agree with what you have said, but I see it a bit differently, as well. When you have been hurt by another person, it is wise to forgive them. This is something that you can do in your heart...in yourself, and does not require the participation of another person. If the person who hurt you approaches you about the issue, it would be right to forgive them. But, if that person never feels that they are wrong...never feels badly for what they did, you don't want to live your life with hurt and a grudge. Forgive them, whether or not they know it. However, if you have hurt someone, an apology does require the participation of the other. You can say that you are sorry into the air, and you will never be forgiven. You can feel all of the remorse you want, but if you don't apologize to the one you hurt, you will not be forgiven. You must realize, though that when you apologize, the response may not be what you had hoped or wished for. Even if the person forgives you, they may feel differently toward you, and that may or may not ever change. As far as demanding an apology or demanding that another person act a certain way, this cannot be done. An apology that is forced is not an apology. We cannot control others, but simply do what we know is right for ourselves.

Wow. I was just looking for advice on forgiveness. That is so profound and such a great concept. I have copied your discussion to ponder and reflect on later. Great one. I agree with you, except that sometimes I think by forgiving too soon, we indirectly encourage the other person to commit that mistake again and then we have to feel the burden/ forgive again. How do we get them to learn not to do that again, though we will forgive them. This has happened to me and I am at a loss about how to deal with it!

no matter how you say it, it is still best if you say sorry when you did something wrong. i believe that person has the right to demand that from your if you have offended him or her.

I think you are correct. You have to seek forgiveness for you , not the other person. You must do what you must to clear your mind and conscience. The forgiveness you seek may or may not come, but you must make the effort for you, not them.