Your Child's Education & Future?

There are kind of two seperate issues here. Your step sons attitude to learning in general, and, the issues of him having two mothers. As an experienced Step Mother myself, but not overly successful, I have been lead to believe that step parents have very little success with step children once they are past 4 years of age. Certain learning behaviours they learnt from their resident parent is already ingrained. First of all, how much access do you & your partner (the boys biolgical Father I presume) have with the 15 year old? Is it possible to get more access, if you feel he is not benefiting from living more often with his Mother? Is it possible to be more involved in your step sons schooling, by going to Parent Teacher nights, personal interviews with teachers, signing his diary, asking to see his homework, etc? Investigate the possibility with the school the possibility of him getting extra assistance, especially in maths. Apart from the above, if you have limited access to your step-son, all you can really do is set an example, by reading at home, emphasing the need for a good education, the evils of unemployment, etc. Good Luck, and keep in touch.

The boy lives with his father and I, so we have a great deal of time with him. We have done all those things you have mentioned. The biological mother tends to interfere a bit and I think she hurts more than she helps. A few years ago, we were concerned that he may have Aspergers but the mother wouldn't get the testing done and she is the one who carries the health insurance.

I am finally back home after my operation and can reply to your comment. Your step sons mother seems to be very similar to ours, always going out of her to make life difficult, even if it disadvantages her own child. You appear to be doing all the right things to get your 15 year old moving in the right direction. But your Aspergers comment concerned me. My 10 year old nephew was diagnosed with Aspergers 10 months ago. If the boys mother won't pay for an assessment out of her health insurance, is there a government waiting list for non-insurance people? As I don't know your health system too well, it's hard for me to comment, but there must be a system available for those with no health insurance? Failing the above, can you report the mother to the authorities for child abuse, on the grounds of not supporting her son's health/emotional problems? The authorities might insist that a medical asserssment is made.