Is your Spouse in the Military?

United States
September 27, 2006 7:49pm CST
My husband just joined the military - Army to be specific- this month and will be leaving next month for Basic Training. I have 2 little girls and really no one to help out. I'm kind of nervous about the whole thing, especially being without my love for while. If you have a spouse or loved one in the Military, or you are in the military, and have any advice you think may be helpful to me, please respond. Or if you have any info you think i should know or may be helpful about the military, army or anything, please- let me know! thanks for your time and responses!
1 person likes this
19 responses
• United States
3 Oct 06
Army wife here, After basic and AIT, he will be assigned a post where you will be surrounded with lots of other military wives, When that happens take advantage of their support,which they will give and give back to them as well. Until then cling to your little ones and your family. Stay strong and know hes coming home soon. It helps to have a big picture of him for the kids and videos too. My hubby is in the first part of his second tour over seas and I have three kids, 10, 4 and 2. So I know how hard it can be. If you have any questions or need someone to talk to I am here. As most military spouses are... You will find that Army wives become a special kind of family to each other. Good luck and keep your spirts up. Oh yeah, There are lots of groups on myspace as well for military wives as well.
• United States
6 Oct 06
i agree, the best thing to do is meet the other wives, they will be your best support. you will make the best friends of your lives. nobody else really understands what you are going thru. we used to get toghther as often as possible and cook dinner, and on sunday mornings, we'd meet at mcdonalds and let the kids eat breakfast and play on the playground, while we got a chance to talk.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Oct 06
jennichad217- sorry it took me so long to get back, family problems..im sure u understand...thanks for your input...it seems like you are doing well...is your hubby overseas? thanks for the myspace idea...
• United States
13 Oct 06
Hey Marcypayne, now I am sorry that it took me so long to get back, just being busy busy busy, I am starting my own online store and its keeping me pretty busy. Yes my hubby is overseas for his second tour. He is due home sometime in May or June. He is a medic for the cav. Yeah I am doing pretty good considering but I have moved home to be with my family while he is gone so that helps a lot. I hope that you and your family are doing better.
@mjtenorio (237)
• United States
1 Oct 06
I was in the military for three years. Now I'm a WAHM. I didn't have any children when I enlisted. That is the reason I chose to not re-enlist. I know that it is very hard. You should look into military wives support groups. I know that there are a ton out there. There are even new military mom support groups that help you out when your spouse goes to basic. I hear that they are very supportive.
• United States
12 Oct 06
hey- what is WAHM? thanks for the advice on the military support groups..i'll have to look into that...
• United States
12 Oct 06
WAHM=Work-at-Home Mom
• United States
12 Oct 06
oh- gotcha...what do you do? got any ideas that i should look into?
• United States
13 Oct 06
i am an army brat, an army wife and an army reservist. i grew up in the military i met my husband during a two week vacation between ait and am in the army reserves. my husband was sent to mosul, iraq- he was there "in country" for a year. my best support was the frg and my mom. the frg not only was a great way to make friends with in the unit and get information but they were also there to stop any "rumors" while my husband was in iraq. also the frg wives (i say wives because my husband was with an infantry unit) would get together once a month to make care packages to send to our husband and single soldiers who weren't getting mail. everymonth would be a different theme. and example would be june was a beach theme so everthing we sent to them was beach related. we would put silly things in the package along with practical items. we would send sunblock, spray bottles, water wings, goggles,etc. everyone participating would bringa certain amount of one item. is your husband going active duty? what is his MOS (military job) going to be? Sometimes if the ait training for the job is long they allow the families to join the soldier. there are tons of services both in the army and civilian sector to help families of army soldiers. i have found that your experience as an army wife is as good as the effort you put into it. the army can be very scary and daunting, believe me i know. take the plunge and get involved whenever you can. get your kids involved too. they'll be able to relate to army kids because they are all going through the same thing. kids can actually help each other cope. hope this helps.
1 person likes this
• United States
14 Oct 06
I think that was a really good post, and props to you for all that you do!!
• United States
17 Oct 06
thank you for saying so :)
@tortoise (181)
• United States
1 Oct 06
Do you live on or close to the post? There are others there, just like you. And, they do things together...with the kids. You'll make friends and the kids will make friends. There might even be something like that off post, other dependants that maybe meet others at a church. Not only civilian women, either. Military spouses, with children, get separated too. And, men have a rough time when mom goes to war. I was in the Air Force. Our jobs required trips that lasted a weekend or a month, we never knew. And, that was just practice.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Oct 06
Hey- thanks for your input..sorry it took so long fo rme to get back...i haven't been on in awhile... family problems and all. I noticed you said "our jobs"..are you in the military as well?
• United States
12 Oct 06
oops- sorry, i see u were in the airforce... my computer is old and it didn't load all the way. my bad!
@katyzzz (2902)
• Australia
10 Oct 06
NO, seek out the assistance of the military social worker, encourage family and friends to help.
• United States
13 Oct 06
I dont understand why you think a military social worker is needed. And most people shouldnt need to ENCOURAGE family and friends to help, there are plenty of people out there who want to help. Sometimes it just takes asking to find out where they are.
@katyzzz (2902)
• Australia
13 Oct 06
The social worker is there to help and provide practical support and they are familiar with the concerns of the families of the military. The writer is concerned, I'm sure she knows many things but has genuine worries and concerns and the social worker can help things along with suggestions for help and other issues. This does not infer in any way that there is something deficient about the writer. I'm sure that you are a nice person but these things are easier for some than others and for a variety of reasons.
• United States
13 Oct 06
Do you mean a counselor?? that I could understand. A social worker in the military is usually only needed when there is something wrong with the home, such as abuse or they are fostering children, you know when something bad happens.
• United States
9 Oct 06
I am an Army wife for the National Gaurd, but my husband has been active duty before. You have to know that you can get through it. My husband was gone for a whole month last month to reclassify. I have a 3 year old and a 6 month old and my 3 year old just started preschool! Get through everyday at a time, set a schedule (I am horrible at that), call people to talk to them and get together with others when you can. Join a support group online, find more info on your FRG (non-existant here pretty much!)
• United States
12 Oct 06
thnks 4 ur input...but whats FRG?
• United States
12 Oct 06
Family Readiness Group
• United States
12 Oct 06
ive never heard of that ...could you explain what that is?
• United States
10 Oct 06
My fiancee is in Virginia for Ait training. He is going active 2 weeks after. I am having a hard time dealing with it. We have a son (16 months) and he is the only way I am surviving
• United States
12 Oct 06
what do u mean he is going active 2 weeks after..i thought that they were active from the time they complete basic...does active mean that they will definitely be going to war? (i dont know much abt this stuff)
• United States
12 Oct 06
He is reserves or national gaurd thing.. where he was going weekends. He also signed up when he was 17 so they did split-ops. which is one summer he did boot, and finished out highschool and now he is in AIT .. so now he is there and probably will go active.. but depending if he tries to or not, he can choose where he wants to go but if he waits till they (the gov't) activets he will go to the war.
• United States
12 Oct 06
oh- i see... how long have ya'll been together?
• United States
7 Oct 06
Army wife here also! My hubby has been deployed to Kuwait for the last 16 months. And like someone said before you will have a close bond to the other army wives in the unit. It is definately like one big family. I will tell you it is very tough at times but you need to keep thinking positive. I am so proud of him for what he is doing for our country!! He was suppose to be done completely in November when he gets home, but he reinlisted for another 6 years and I couldn't be prouder of him. I know there is a good chance that he can be called up again when he gets home but we just live day by day and not worry about that. No matter how tough military life can be I am so proud of what they do and I wouldn't want to be married to anyone else besides a service member!!
• United States
12 Oct 06
wow, your man has been gone for 16 months! i cans believe how positive you are! man, i hope my baby doesnt get deployed- but if he does, i hope i can keep my spirits up the way you have...what an inspiration!
• United States
12 Oct 06
I have my moments but friends and family keep me going!
• United States
12 Oct 06
thats cool. i dont really have friends and family that im close to...i guess im not to good at trusting people sice ive been screwed over so much by family and paople i thought were my friends. but im glad u have that support.
@skittlez353 (1404)
• United States
28 Sep 06
No but I can`t imagine what that would be like, a very tough situation. All the men in the military are in my prayers!
• India
7 Oct 06
no
• United States
12 Oct 06
thanks- they can use all the prayer they can get!
@somesh1984 (1299)
• India
21 Oct 06
no
• United States
21 Oct 06
my husbadn is in the Air Force. He has went to Iraq three times already. My best advice to give you and to surround yourself with family and loved ones if possible.
@JiWuJun (585)
• China
13 Oct 06
Is not
@JiWuJun (585)
• China
13 Oct 06
Is not
@clintz15 (977)
• India
12 Oct 06
No
• United States
12 Oct 06
My hubby was in the air force when we first got married, but he isn't anymore. It is really hard because they are away a lot, but at least they are doing something worth while and important. Just be proud of him.
@bhchy1 (6051)
• United States
12 Oct 06
No...but my parenst are retired military and I have dated a men in the military.. Just isn't a lifestyle choice for me. Though my man is in school to be a Park Ranger Law Enforcement...I guess in the end it isn't all that different. Except he stay home..doesn't get shipped out anywhere.
• United States
12 Oct 06
I will be praying for you and your 2 girls. Just remember God has got your back and He will watch over your husband while he is away.
@lokesh61 (551)
• India
7 Oct 06
no
• India
7 Oct 06
no