Stupid Tricks For Points
September 28, 2006 1:49am CST
One-Point Gags -------------------- · Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you. · In the middle of a meeting, suddenly shout out "Yahtzee!" · Leave your zipper open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way." · Phone someone in the office you barely know, leave your name and say, "Just called to say I can't talk right now. Bye." · Run one lap around the office at top speed. · To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace. · Walk sideways to the photocopier. · When someone hands you a piece of paper, finger it, and whisper huskily, "Mmmmmmm, that feels soooooo good!" · While riding an elevator, gasp dramatically every time the doors open. Three-Point Gags ------------------------- · Babble incoherently at a fellow employee then ask, "Did you get all that, I don't want to have to repeat it." · Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle (there must be a 'non-player' within sight). · Page yourself over the intercom (do not disguise your voice). · Say to your boss, "I like your style" and shoot him with double-barreled fingers. · Shout random numbers while someone is counting. Five-Point Gags ---------------------- · After every sentence, say 'mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in, "The report's on your desk, mon". Keep this up for one hour. · Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do number two." · At lunch time get down on your knees and announce "As God as my witness, I'll never go hungry again." · At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself). · Carry your keyboard over to your colleague and ask, "Ya wanna trade?" · Come to work in army fatigues and when asked why, say, "I can't talk about it." · Find the vacuum and start vacuuming around your desk. · For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as 'Bob'. · Hang a two-foot long piece of toilet roll from the back of your pants and act genuinely surprised when someone points it out. · In a colleagues diary, write in 10:00 am "See how I look in tights." · In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!" · Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now" · Tuck one pant leg into your sock and when queried, answer, "not now" and walk away. · Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times. · While an office mate is out, move their chair into the elevator. · While talking to a colleague, pick your nose.