Random Thoughts #1 - Suicide
By Ravenladyj
@Ravenladyj (22904)
United States
January 3, 2007 5:06am CST
"Sometimes you wake up afraid to live"...
There are plenty of topics on here about suicide and of course I respond to them because truth be told I'm very passionate about it...it is a very key and personal thing in my life...That being said, here goes..
Why is it that when ppl think suicide they automatically think things like "selfish" and "thoughtless" (due to 'leaving loved ones behind') rather than thinking about how much pain the suicidal person MUST BE (and is/was) feeling at that time? Why is it that ppl automatically think things like "unholy" or "unforgiveable sin" rather than thinking about how lonely, alone, scared and lost the suicidal person must have felt?
In all honesty, I htink that ppl take on that attitude for one of two reasons
#1 - they have NEVER been to that mental place (which is a good thing, trust me) so they truly dont understand
OR
#2 - they feel guilty because they werent there for their loved one when that person needed them most OR they didnt see the signs and of course because of that didnt step in OR they made that TERRIBLE mistake of saying things like "well what about your family/friends/kids, you cant do that to them" when a loved one brings up suicide...BIG MISTAKE cause trust me you just drive that stake in deeper by turning their depression against them and taking the concentration OFF them where it belongs and on to ppl who are "happy" etc..
so instead of stepping up and acknowledging either of those things, they lay the blame on the ppl who LEAST deserve it..the ones who really did/do wake up afraid to live...
I've been there on both sides of the fence I've attempted suicide more than once in my life AND I've lost numerous ppl I love and cared about to suicide...I know how it feels to wake up like that every day..I know how it feels to think you are such a horrible burden to the ppl who mean the most to you you figure THEY would be better off without you (including my own kids), I know how it feels to feel beyond helpless...BUT I also know how it feels to have that guilt of "omg why didnt I see it" or "omg why didnt I check on him" and so on....
I honestly think ppl need to rethink how they see suicide..it isnt about religion, it isnt about YOU its about the suicidal person and their assbackwards thought process, its about how they really truly do feel the lives of their loved ones would be better without them holding them back....
Any thoughts?
8 people like this
17 responses
@ladysurvivor (4746)
• Malaysia
4 Jan 07
Yeah I couldn't agree more. I have the same problem about feeling my life unworthly and sometimes I even pray that God please take my life away. But at times I will regret feeling like this. But I can't help it - the same feeling will come again and again. And I am very angry because nobody has never understood me. PPl around me has thrown nasty judgements to me and my husband didn't lift a finger to help me face this trauma. At times, I will pray to God so that whomever look down on me and accuse me of such accusation, please God let them feel like what I feel. That is only fair. But since I joined myLot, I am VERY MUCH relieved because I met new friends who suffer the same thing as me, and understands the feeling of loneliness, fear and unworthiness. Thanks Ravenladyj, for giving me the opportunity to contribute in your column. I wish you will achieve happiness one day. As for me, I am still searching for that happiness and I hope I will find it.
1 person likes this
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
31 Jan 07
I have found my happiness but not without a lot of hard work, serious soul searching, tears and so on...you'll get there ;-) stay strong and take care of you!!
@cosbyholmes (27)
• United States
3 Jan 07
i think if a person doesn't want to live anymore who has the right to stop them. let them go in a way that they choose. not many people get to do that and it seems rather humane to me but one of my best friendds just killed himself over his babys mom last october. at least he had a choice on how to go.
1 person likes this
@bboysiu (24)
• United States
3 Jan 07
Yea sucide is just what alot of people think when they are like depressed, cant find any way to solve their problems, and family problems. They think that dying is just a solution to everything so they dont have to care about anything anymore, but thats just not true because they have friends and family that care about them and love them so much that dying will make them really. i had friends thought about sucide and they are just really sad , nothing goes..yea
@livingtwist (410)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I know all to well the feelings of depression and having fleeting thoughts along those lines and seems to me it really is easy way out. But lets get real, no one ever said life was easy and would not have good days and bad. Takes a lot more effort to go on living and trying to at least do a few things right than to give up.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
31 Jan 07
ah but "good days" and "bad days" are one thing....constant bad horrible days EVERY day is something completely different....Having a crap day or a glum day in no way whatsoever compares to suffering every day with severe depression..
@nukelemon (17)
• United States
4 Jan 07
my uncle shot him self and i know how mcuh grief it caused my family and almost ruined us.so i ask you this is your life worth ruing several more and there is always something you can do to help and every person on this earth makes a difference wether it be big or small.
@zahzuf (49)
• Malaysia
4 Jan 07
the most important is always be happy... try to think positive... dont judge by heart by mind
@Lisa_81 (24)
• Canada
4 Jan 07
i'm so against it it hurts. i've lost friends by it, i've seen it in front of my face. when people threaten to kill themselves, 90% of the time is all for attention. I suffer depression and stress on a regular basis, but i would never hurt or end it.these may seem bad for days but in the end it always get's better. it's like, everyone hurts. i really hate ppl who cut or pop pills or somethging. like if you're wanna die do it right. go back faced to a train and go, don't stress or make ppl cry and suffer. in the end they took the easy way out and made their pain go away but brought so much more to family and friends who adored them. especially if thats your child.if you're having thoughts of it please seek help, you owe it to yourself and your loved ones. life isn't as bad as ppl think sometimes
@nithinchinni (2307)
• India
4 Jan 07
sorry i dont have any thoughts.....i have never seen such things and i have not experienced.so i cant reply for your answer.dont mind if i cant reply your disscussin
@_hope_ (3902)
• Australia
4 Jan 07
i saw myself contemplating taking my life only a few days ago the pain (mental) that i am currently going through has been so unbearable i wanted it to end .At the time i wasn`t thinking about anything or anyone else life was such a blur and the only reason i`m here rite now is that a friend sent me a text at the very monent i reached for the bottle of pills .mind you i `m still very near at this time but just taking each day as it comes .I DON`T FEEL THAT I`M A COWARD FOR TAKING MY LIFE AND TO ME IT`S NO ONES BUISNESS HOW WHEN OR WHERE i choose to end my life .my family do not support me in my pain i`m suffering at all
@harsh1985 (593)
• India
4 Jan 07
i simply don't understand why people sucide i think they get dipressed by the feeling that they are unable to solve their family problem, martial problem, business problem or the problem which force people to sucide. and dying is the best solution before them to remove from a maze.
but a person die gives to much sorrow for their family members as well as friend who loves them very much.
before taking this final decision you hould think atleast for the family members,friend who love you too much!!
sucide is not solution of any problem!!
@girlfriday630 (62)
• United States
4 Jan 07
I agree with you. I have had a few friends kill themselves and my grandmother has tried numerous times to kill herself. I cannot and will not belive that he are in hell just because there life was horrible or they couldn't deal with the everyday life. Our minds and body are created different. We all have different feelings of desperation that is hard to explain. I haven't had that feeling myself but I can understand why some people would. Life is hard and people can be cruel. Not just kids, adults as well. Anyways I agree totaly with you. And as far as my grandmoter and her attemts, she has diabetes and her leg was amputated so her will to live had diminished. and she didn't want to be a burden on her family. that is not selfish that is just a woman with pride and intergetry.
@gargisback (58)
• India
4 Jan 07
yeah one must change his/her attitude towards any thing.because one does not know wat the person might be going with metally that they had to end their life coz its really tough to sucide.and might be they did that coz they were mentally ill many reasons.but if a person simply goes for such attempts its bad.one must love life..
@besthope44 (12123)
• India
24 Oct 10
True..its breathing exercise name pranayama, and its excellent for depression and balancing emotions for a human body. Thanks for sharing!
@gargisback (58)
• India
4 Jan 07
yeah one must change his/her attitude towards any thing.because one does not know wat the person might be going with metally that they had to end their life coz its really tough to sucide.and might be they did that coz they were mentally ill many reasons.but if a person simply goes for such attempts its bad.one must love life..
