Random thought 6,584,562,165

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I want a dark brown convertible corvette with pink glittery flames on the sides and a white racing stripe. in this car, i would have pink shag seat covers and a pair of fuzzy white dice hanging from my rearview. and i want rhinestones on my rims. big ones. also, a yoo-hoo fountain built in to my dash. and no glove compartment, but i want to put a mini-locker in it's stead. i want a special feature that allows me to emit bubbles from my exhaust. maybe even a horn with two modes, one for honking, and one for just saying "hey" to, like, acquaintances and passersby. i want an accelerator pedal that looks like hello kitty and brake pedal that looks like pochacco. i want a visor to block the sun's harmful rays FROM ANY DIRECTION, like that little gap right in the middle that hits at dusk. i want an onboard navigational system with the voice of ricardo montalban, and i want him to address me as "lolita." i would like a compass on this vehicle that directs me to the thing i want the most. i want pink tinting on my windows. but a really light pink. more like a blush, nothing gawdy. cause i'm a classy broad, however sassy as well. instead of carpeting, i would like wood flooring in my car. i want an "eraser" style trap door installed under the driver's seat incase i ever need to escape without people seeing me (and for the secret underground tunnel i will later have constructed in my dreamhouse, also pink). the locker should have a refrigeration mode, so i can drive to my favorite sushi restaurant across three states and still have it be cool and fresh by the time i finally get home to eat it. i want an alarm system that barks at people if they stand too close to my car and a mechanical hand that pops out if they want to try and hate on my awesome auto-mo-beel. i want this car to have an automatic transmission, but have a stick just for show so i can pretend i'm driving stick and look/feel cooler, like i've got mad skillz that killz. and i guess the clutch pedal can be keropi. i want a mood ring transmitter that controls the kickin' stereo system and plays just the song i want to hear and make me say "oh, i love this song" and turn up the stereo system although it is already at a comfortable listening level. i want inspector-gadget-style suspension system that allows me to pass over the happy-go-lucky jackass in front of me who is just taking his time because he's in no rush and it's a beautiful day for driving because i'm late for work and i don't have the heart to honk at him and ruin his day. i want this car to drive itself to the autoshop in the middle of the night and repair itself with the mechanic's tools to keep it in primo condition. instead of gasoline, i want my car to run on my hopes/dreams, or a child's laughter. i want a button that projects a hologram of paul rudd sitting in my passenger seat so i can, well, look at it. i want a theft deterrence system that only lets the car run after a retinal scan, and a door that only opens when it senses my finger prints. but i still want a key. i want ricardo montalban to give me compliments so i can feel awkward and start an arguement with my car instead of just taking the damn compliment. then we go days without speaking and finally make up and share a warm and loving embrace and say "let's never fight again," but do it all over again inevitably, because it's a love/hate relationship. i want cupholders shaped like hands that can also pass me my drink right to my lips so i don't have to look away from the road, cause that's not safe. i want an 80s hair metal band comprised of only kittens and gizmo from the gremlins movies as the drummer, and i want this band to live in my trunk and serenade me when i have to remove my groceries, and possibly help me carry them up a flight of stairs into my apartment, but not ask to use my bathroom, because my apartment would smell like cat pee for, like, 2 weeks after that no matter what i do. i want my car to give me subliminal messages so i suddenly feel like going out and buying a toupee although i am obviously not a balding man. then i throw the toupee in my stack of toupees in my toupee storage closet and say to myself "godammit, it got me again!" i want the ceiling of my car to be painted like the sky, in spite of the fact that my car is already a convertible and i could easily just see the real sky by removing the top. i want a roll of mentos in my car at all times incase i get pulled over. because mentos makes everything okay. and fresh. i want display screens on the backs of my seat and my passengers seat that show the words of whatever songs i listen to with the little ball bouncing on top so my friends can sing along with me, and to indicate which part they should sing so we don't have to argue over who sings backup and to ensure that i get to sing the lionel ritchie part of "my endless love." and i want a no smoking sign permanently installed so that i don't need to feel bad when i have to begrudgingly say no to my smoker friends, because i hate having stinky smoke hair. and dying of second-hand smoke induced lung cancer, too, i guess. (my birthday's coming up soon, so you all have time to start the collection jar. lol.)