• United States
22 May 07
Every child seems to react to different styles, probably because they're all so different in personality. I found that with my kids, now all teens, from day one I was always calm and spoke to them without yelling or screaming. While far from perfect, I will say that my even temper helped us quite often. When my oldest threw her first, one and only tantrum in a store I calmly bent down to her and told her I would not stand there and listen to it and I was leaving. I walked away (never really leaving her out of my site) and pretended like I couldn't even hear her. She would stop, look to see if I was really still going and then start again only to realize, hmmmm.. this isn't going to work. I turned around and said "now are you coming?" and she ran up into my arms. Worked like a charm. My son, however, was a bit more antagonistic. He would simply move his tantrum WITH me. LOL So I had to eventually figure that while he feared I'd leave him he also knew he was irritating enough to get some reaction which was fine with him. I would finally bend down and speak in a very soft, low voice that he definitely couldn't hear unless he quieted down. Most of the time this worked with him. He would settle and we would discuss what the problem was and why he was upset. His twin sister never threw a single tantrum, probably after seeing her brother and realizing "wow, mom leaves us when we do that". LOL Good luck and remember most of all to discipline with your heart before your hand. A spanking may be needed, but never out of anger.