rantings about Growing Up

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I thought I could escape from it all by hiding behind my "t ra-la-la" book of the moment, Shophalic Abroad or by filling in silly entries in this blog of mine... But no,Missy! All my attempts to go brain dead proved futile because whether I like it or not , it's still there .... staring right at me. And even if I wave my hands across my face ala-John Cena and go "You Can't See Me!".... it's still there! Growing Up is daunting. After a million years, I'am one step closer to finally leaving schooL!!! I'm temporarily releived... stress on the 'temporarily.' It's like taking a few quick gasps before you plunge into the deep dark waters to get lost in the unknown once again. I can never really pinpoint the exact time when I "grew up". All the lines are blurred. The thing is I've always been sure about the person that I'am and who I want to become. I never went through a tumuluous identity crisis. I'm not the kind of person people can talk about and say "I knew her in highschool, and she was still so blah blah blah.....and now, she's so different!" It could be a good thing or a bad thing really. I knew I didn't like smoking and drinking early on so I never bothered doing it. It wasn't even a matter of principle at first to be honest, it was just something simple and it all boiled down to the taste. It's not as if I went on a crusade against it and deprived myself of these things. If my friends wanted to do those things, then good. It has always been a non-issue. I remember when I was in highschool, a girl offered me a cigarette and I declined,then she offered me a beer and i did the same, and she looked at me with a puzzled look and said, "So you don't smoke and you don't drink, God,you're a loser!" and I just laughed back and said, "Hmmm... if that's what it takes to become one, then I guess so..." It's so funny how everyone all blows all this up way over proportion. So what if I like pink and you don't,it doesn't make you less of a person right? So should I be offended by you're not liking pink? It's hilarious how people want to be pressured by their peers because growing up without the infamous 'peer pressure phase' seems so boring, hey, welcome to my world!!! Sure, there were times when I didn't get along with my friends or parents...or times when I did some things that I wasn't particularly proud of... but I did it because I just did, not because I was trying to prove anything or unprove anything for that matter. If you remain true to yourself, you wouldn't have to think...your principles and convictons will lead you to act the way that you shoul do. Things happen, your eact accordingly..period. Some actions are driven by purpose, others by sheer circumstance. I guess I'm somewhat lucky because i have this innate sense of authenticity. My radar can beep frantically when a person I don't share the same vibes with is a hundred meters away. You can do the whole "Ooh please love me because im so genuine and down to earth" act but in the end you'll only tire yourself. Just look at JLo(Jennifer Lopez), by singing "I'M REAL", she contradicts herself. You don't label yourself as such , you just become one and let the people judge for themselves. Guys,it's either you get me or you don't. It's all good. So having said that, I'm pleased to announce that I'm starting to feel REAL PRESSURE for the very first time. I've been so accustomed to controlling my life that being pressured by outward forces seem so foreign to me. Pressure comes in all shapes and in all colors. It can come tin the form of a class bully, a nerve-wracking interview, a bald-headed boss, overwhelming responsibilities, an asskicking colleague, or even a pestering conscience. But hey, I can do this. We all can. Let's RRRRRRumble!!!!