would you report domestic violence to police? need advice

January 4, 2007 8:08am CST
one of my friends told me just a week ago that her boyfriend was beating her up, but she loves him to much to leave him. it makes me feel uncomfable and angry knowing one of my good friends is getting beaten by this bully of a boyfriend. i threatened to call the police, and report him, but she just flipped out at me saying a good friend would'nt do that as it would destroy her life not being able to see him. i cant seem to get any sense into this girl, she's only young, 21 years old. what should i do? i dont want to lose her as a friend, but i also cant bear to think of her getting beaten up all the time when her boyfriend is drunk. i got a family of my own with two little kids, so i dont want to get violently involved. i really dont know what to do. i need advice. please help me.
3 responses
Ravenladyj
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Unfortunately her love is #1 false..its more of a fear than genuine love because demeaning/belittling and threatening both go hand in hand with the beatings...its a power and control thing so he isnt just hitting her he is totally breaking her down on all levels and #2 obviously isnt returned...but hat wont matter to her also unfortunately, you calling the police may bring some serious trouble to your home, where you're kids live as well as end your friendship with this girl though I dont think it would end..her anger would be temporary but at first its her fear tht would get the better of her...So you really are in a tough position...if it wasnt for the fact that you have children i would say YES CALL!! but since you do, I would think carefully about it because guys like that are very unpredictable MIND YOU if you are a strong perosnality, he wont cross you...ppl like that only go after vulnerable types.... Why not try calling a helpline and getting their advice OR call the police and get THEIR advice (without dropping names)...
chiyochan
@chiyosan (30184)
• Philippines
4 Jan 07
yes, i will report it and will convince my friend to file charges. the boyfriend has no right to hurt the girl
rjbass
@rjbass (1422)
• United States
4 Jan 07
Absolutely. Fisrst of all, if he thinks that he can get away with abusing your friend with no reprocusssions, then what is there to stop him in the future. There is a good point in the reply above mine stating that you need not arrest him bu to get it on record. This is key as anyone with knowledge abuse can call it in and have it documented. The boyftriend may no be arrested and your frend may not admit to being abused when the police arrive, but their names will be tagged to a report of domestic violence. I wish your friend all the best of luck in removing herself from that situation.