Why does anyone WANT to have kids?

@mayakup (1309)
United States
January 5, 2007 12:09pm CST
Well my husband and I are both 26 and everyone is saying it's time to have kids, we've been married almost 1 year and it's been going really great. So why have children? Aren't they just expensive, time-comsuming and they are a reason to have to sacrifice so much. What if kids ruin our marriage? I dont know, seems like too much giving up to do and it's scary. I just still dont get why people want and have kids?
15 people like this
149 responses
@bronie123 (4589)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Yeah i also would like to know that my fiance and i have been together 6 years know and he wants 2 kids and i just don't get it why ??? It seems to me that it ruins your life because you have to take care of it and you can't live your life how you want to. Well i probably didn't answer your question but i feel that same way !!!! Have a great afternoon :)
2 people like this
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
5 Jan 07
I know I so totally agree with you. so what are you gonna do? Are you gonna have kids?
1 person likes this
@Meljep (1668)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Don't have children until you are married. Children need a functional family to grow up properly.
1 person likes this
@crystal8577 (1469)
• United States
5 Jan 07
If that is how you feel than I don't think you are ready t have kids. That is a fine place to be in your life, you may change your mind at a later date. I had my 1st baby right before I turned 22. I am now 29 & had baby #3 2 weeks ago. I do not feel as though kids have taken away from my marriage at all. I don't feel as though I sacrifice anything by having my girls, they add more than they take away in my opinion.
1 person likes this
• Australia
6 Jan 07
Well said, crystal. I know you have much joy ahead in your life, and your children will be thankful for a good mother.
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jan 07
congrats on your baby crystal!!!
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
7 Jan 07
yes congrats on your baby crystal :)
@smacksman (6074)
5 Jan 07
You definitly don't want kids - they would be bad for you right now. Maybe you will change your attitude in time. Better to wait and see.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
I agree - give it time and maybe you will want them later - and if not, don't have them!
1 person likes this
@igreen (94)
• India
6 Jan 07
I too agree with it
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I think you need to wait a couple years before even considering haveing kids. You dont sound like your ready. You are more into your husband. And in a couple of years when your sick of each other then have them, But you both must agree on it.
@sunrisekn (1467)
• United States
6 Jan 07
LOL--that's about it!
• United States
5 Jan 07
If you don't want to have kids, then don't - you don't have too!! I am not sure if I want to have kids yet or not, I love kids, I just don't like them when they are babies - that is probably the opposite of what everyone else thinks, but oh well . . .
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jan 07
Children are definately a personal choice for everyone and not to be taken lightly. I for one love raising my children and seeing the new growth and ecitement of everything all brand new in their eyes again...but children are not for everyone...and too many peple have them without any though or concern to the work and love involved...so if you are not ready...or feel flat our NO, trust your instincts and live your life the happiest way for you!
5 Jan 07
I am 25, I have 2 kids (2 and 4yo) and I can't imagine my life without them. I always wanted kids though, so maybe that is why. Do not have kids if you don't want them, it's not fair to the child. I didn't have a party life so having the kids never has been a sacrifice. We take them everywhere with us, because that's how we want it. Never give into the people that are pressuring you to have kids. You are the one who will have to take care of them, not those people.
1 person likes this
@mayakup (1309)
• United States
5 Jan 07
I have never had a party life either. but i am very active in that I love the gym and playing tennis and taking romanitc trips with my husband and enjoying relaxing when i want sleeping eating when i want it's so nice and kids would ruin that for us
1 person likes this
@goldjay (465)
• United States
6 Jan 07
If you and your husband are in agreement on this feeling about children, then it's probably best that you don't have any right now. It is good to have a marriage first and then children or have no children at all if you are not up to that. Not all married people have or want chidlren and that is okay. Some people are just content with their marriage.
• Canada
6 Jan 07
My sister and I both decided a long time ago that we never want to have kids. It's OK not to want kids, and if the rest of the world doesn't like that, they can kiss our butts!!! It's between YOU and your husband. Tell 'em to quit being so damn nosey!!
1 person likes this
@Joven22 (20)
• Philippines
6 Jan 07
well both of you should have kids in order for you to become a family..you dont want to have offsprings???
1 person likes this
• United States
6 Jan 07
If you don't get it, then by all means, please do not have kids. The last thing the world needs are selfish parents with a negative attitude who see the kids as nothing but a burden, a money pit, and a time commitment, and a possible way of ruining the marriage. Judging by your post, I'd put your outlook on life in general as being pretty negative, too - I'm pretty sure that is not inaccurate. Why would I want kids? Easy. I want to continue my family line. I want to raise two brand new human beings to go out there and make me proud. I want to be a dad in general. I'm not ready for kids yet, but I do want them later on in life.
@ktroth (378)
• United States
5 Jan 07
You're young and you've only been married a year. No one has any right to be pressuring you to have kids. Does your husband feel the same way you do? I waited three years to have kids. We had planned on waiting five, but the birth control failed. But I don't regret it a bit. My kids are now 5 and 8 and I can't imagine having another one and starting all over again. I love that no one cries when I leave, I rarely have to get up with them in the night and we can do more things with them because they're old enough. If people pressure you, I would simply tell them "We're not ready for that right now." If that doesn't shut them up, I'd tell them to mind their own business. In answer to your question "why do people want and have kids?"---many don't and that's fine. There are plenty of us who do and the population will continue. I wanted kids because I've always loved kids and my husband is a teacher, so he obviously does too. And I wanted to have his child. But if you don't want to now and you never want to, that's your business. I understand it because it is expensive, time-consuming and sometimes just plain inconvenient. It's a sacrifce and if you have children without truly wanting to, you'll end up resenting the child and your husband and that's not fair to any of you.
@kou7hik (243)
• India
5 Jan 07
kids should not be viewed under the cost-effectiveness spectrum.. people dont want kids..they really dont have the choice..they are designed for the purpose of having kids.
1 person likes this
@krizz420 (4387)
• Canada
5 Jan 07
I think the main reason people have kids is to carry on their bloodline.
1 person likes this
• United States
5 Jan 07
If you think they are expensive and time consuming and not worth changing your life over, you should not have kids. It is your choice and no one should tell you to have kids. But, if you look at from something other than a selfish, or economic point of view, you will see that it is a joy to bring a new life into the world and guide it and nurture it, and hopefully leave the world a place a little better. Children are the future without them, this world has no future.
1 person likes this
@stvenvoon (254)
• Malaysia
6 Jan 07
The answer quite simple, cause having a kids will make both of them become more mature and strenthen the relation between them. So y dont want to have a children sience u alrady maried 1 year more. I think it is suitable for u to have a kid, dont think it is a burden that make u sacrifice. Try to see in another angle, maybe it can strengthen the love between u both.
• Netherlands
6 Jan 07
I think she should take her time in enjoying the relationship. Why would she need to mature? I think she sounds plenty mature.
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
6 Jan 07
i have five children and yes to raise a child is expensive but it can be eaisly done our children were born with love and raised in love they have bought us much joy tears and heart ache but have never regretted a minute of it
@_hope_ (3906)
• Australia
6 Jan 07
mind you i was so scared with the first one but you will have yours when you are ready not when others tell you are ready take your time and enjoy your hubby first
@micheller (1365)
• United States
5 Jan 07
Wellll. if nobody wanted to have kids then the human species would stop reproducing and there eventually there would be no more humans. It's just a part of life to have a child/ren. And it's a very exiting thing when you have a child.
@micheller (1365)
• United States
5 Jan 07
But, if you don't want to have a kid then don't have one. It's your choice.
@raveena (1355)
• India
17 Jan 07
Yes I agree with you that both of you should get to know each other well and it is actually very early for kids, you should wait for atleast another 2 years. As far as going great for how long? Children do not ruin marriage they actually unite the parents. About them being expensive and etc if are parents would have thought about the same thing then we would not have come into this world
@tiff1496 (570)
• United States
6 Jan 07
Why do people want children? Guaranteed, unconditional, LOVE! If your going to have children, you need to not be a selfish person. Little ones take up all your time, but also take up all the room in your heart. I would never go back and not have my baby. He is my life, you will never know the real meaning of love until you have a child.
@Laurel78 (37)
• United States
6 Jan 07
I am 28 years old and my husband and I just had a baby girl. We were married 3 years before having her. Its probably the hardest, most wonderful thing in the world. I have just come to realize that I can't be selfish at all with a child. She is not drinking from a bottle yet, and I wanted to go to a Football game last Sunday. We had seasons tickets last year and I didn't go to ONE. I thought when my baby is 3 months, I could probably leave her for a few hours. Since she wont take a bottle, I couldn't go! I was so upset about it and kept looking back at all the fun I used to have- I just have to give it up for now. My life has totally changed and I need to grow up and suck it up. I am going to have "fun" again, but its going to be different. ITs the best thing I've ever done! Just life changing. So, really- don't have children until you are ready. When you are ready to give up some of the things you love. Not that you can't ever have them again! You will! I think I wanted to have children so that we could have the next step in our family. Its a true form of love. Don't listen to everyone else though!!!!!!!!!!