just got married for 7 days
By arwenrey
@arwenrey (315)
Philippines
January 5, 2007 4:19pm CST
I just got married last December 30, 2006 and i am having a huge adjustment because we are living with the parents and sister of my husband. I can't seem to have freedom to move around the house the way i want to. After work i always stay in our bedroom. I missed my single life already. We have plans to move out but it would take time because we don't have enough money yet. Did i made a mistake to be married with to my husband?
1 person likes this
8 responses
@angelastreit (287)
• United States
20 Jan 07
No you didn't make a mistake if you truly love him. It really does take time to adjust to being married. When my husband and I got married it took me awhile to be able to do things the wa that I like them to be done.I will all change trust me,just give it time.
1 person likes this
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
i agree..me also,it take a very long time before i adjust in the responsibilities that i need to do in my new life. At the first few months i know to my self that i am irresponsible wife to my husband because i am not doing my jobs very well but when the time past by i started to learn to do my responsibilities in life as her husband and the mommy of our baby.
@nvtellan (1907)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
We are in the same situation. The only difference is that my wife and I are living in my parents house. We are also eager to move out as soon as we can find a house and lot we could call our own. But due to financial reasons and the unavailability of a promising place to purchase, we are still at my parents house. I know your situation because my wife is currently experiencign the same thing. Now, I think she has gotten used to married life and living with my family. I know she's longing for her family and friends at their place but that's why I'm doing all the best that I can to cheer her up.
Congrats!
@nvtellan (1907)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
And marrying him is not a mistake. Look, before the both of you got into this marriage thing, I'm sure you have talked it over like where you are going to live, how many children, are we going to stay working here of abroad, etc. In most churches, they require the couple to attend a family planning seminar from the local city hall. There's also the canonical interview to be conducted by the priest to the couple before the finalization of wedding schedule. These things surely gave you insights/ideas on what will married life has to offer you in the future.
And surely there must be a very concrete reason why you were wedded to you husband in the first place. You don't need to think that marrying your husband and ended up living with his family is a mistake. It's very unfair to your husband.
Just strive you two and make the best out of it. Maybe this is your chance to fully know your in-laws and vice versa.
1 person likes this
@Lauraleigh99 (4718)
• United States
5 Jan 07
No. Give it time and work hard to save money so you can move out. If they aren't making you pay rent that is a huge plus! It is saving you guys some money. Just focus on getting enough to move out. Just go for walks, to the movies etc... so you and your hubby can get out of the house and have some privacy! Congratulations on the marriage!
1 person likes this
@kittykat0308 (44)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
this is a normal feeling... give yourself time to adjust and eventually you'll get used to it... we're on the same boat so i know how you feel... it really helped that i was so at ease with my then future in-laws before my then husband-to-be and i got married... add to the fact that my husband is very understanding and supportive of what i was going through with all the adjustments... talk to your husband so he knows how you feel and i'm sure he will help you through... there are pros and cons of this kind of arrangement but with ample communication everything will work out... of course the first few months to couple of years will be a bit bumpy but you'll be able to deal with it... it's been 3 years now and we're still with my mother-in-law and it still isn't all smooth sailing but we've managed and i've adjusted... and we're all still happy... hahaha... oh, and by the way, we have the same anniversary =)
@natliegleb (5173)
• India
29 Oct 12
ha that is quite funny,its not a mistake try to get things sorted out,even the biggest of mistakes can be revealed and be goofed up after some time
@bubuth (1815)
• Philippines
31 Jan 12
Me and my husband is now living in my parents house. It is okay for us not to move to another house because my parents is always not here because they are working in the urban area but when my parents are going home i feel that my husband can't move cozy because he is so shy with my parents but when the time past he started to feel comfortable. In married life there are lot of adjustment so just try to enjoy it. Don't think that you make a mistake,take it as a blessing..
Happy Mylotting..
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
5 Jan 07
You probably did not make a mistake but it does take time to adjust to married life over single life and living with inlaws is always hard to do. Just stay focused on moving out with your new husband and once you have reached that goal everything should be fine. By then you will have also adjusted to being married.
@brihanna (381)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Hi It is perfectly normal to feel like you perhaps made a mistake, after a long time of being excited about the wedding, it is natural to have some kind of let-down especially if you are living with relatives and do not have the freedom you need with your husband.
It is not easy to be and stay married, I have been in similar situations....(my MIL actually lives with us now) it is important to...
1)have time to yourselves outside your house
2)express your unhappiness to your spouse
3)look to the future...it will get better.
Good Luck
