Divorced after 17 years and trying to start over, how do I?

Firstly I don't beleive your fears are for no reason. Your in a relationship with a man with kids after you've been there and done that. I think you should now think about yourself a bit more cause it seems to me that your thinking about how others may see you or doing things to make it rite so you don't fail without doing how you feel. Think about what you want to do and have some fun. The kids you are living with now aren't yours so aren't your responsibility, let your partner sought all of that out. Yeah sure offer advice but make him make the decisions and have less stress for yourself. To do with your own kids, do you know that if your kids see that you are happy and you can be happy doing things for yourself, then they will know things will be alrite for them. Start a class in Yoga or something that you'll enjoy, find time for yourself. Now it should be all about you. If it becomes more about everything else around you instead of about you then get out. It's not failing unless your failing yourself. Your only failing yourself if your not happy. Your the only one who can make yourself happy. Let go of your past so called failures. They are, yes even at your age, learning experiences. Remember you always have a long way to go. Everyone does lol. Like I said if your happy and strong within yourself then your own kids will find happiness and strength through you.

Whoa...Hun you really do need to go and talk to some one.I am in Chippewa and I see you are 'my neighbor'...Have you thought of calling Sacred Heart and asking them about counceling covered by insurance? This has to be hard for you,but you can do it. Working on a relationship before you work on your fears is a road to heartache. If you want to talk privatly I will listen!Good luck and God bless!!

No, don't give up. You deserve to be happy. Anything worth having is worth fighting for. I was married for 24 yrs. & had been diagnosed with liver cancer a year before. My husband left me my 1st weekend home from my 2nd big surgery. But it was a blessing in disguise. It was a horrible marriage, loveless, he had no respect for women, he was overbearing w/our kids. But I made it work until they were grown. My daughter had just graduated high school. She & I moved in with my son who was pastoring a small church. He was so young to take on that responsibility. It was difficult, emotionally and financially, but we made it. I met my current husband several months after my divorce, we married 2 yrs. later. My son is married now with 1 child and another on the way, my daughter is now married & very pregnant also. Life goes on. Take it one day at a time. My husband has 2 daugters from previous marriages. The grown daughter & I have a great relationship. The teenager, well she doesn't come around b/c we have rules and they are for her too.She is used to her mom letting her go, go, go & neglect responsibilities (school) and dress however trashy she wants to, and pierce whatever body part she wants to, and we don't. So she chooses to stay away and that's fine too,I don't need the stress. I still have cancer, I always will, I can live with it so long as I'm aggressive in my treatments, usually meaning surgery, it can go terribly wrong very quickly, but I choose to be happy and to love and to live one day at a time. You can do this. Remember, love heals ALL wounds.