The 2 most essential factors in a relationship (Please give reasons)

@eseomame (1146)
United States
January 8, 2007 10:33am CST
What do you think are the two most essential factors in a relationship? For me, I will go with Love and Understanding. Everybody can explain why love is essential. Understanding, because without understanding, there would be too many misunderstandings. :)
3 people like this
21 responses
@livewyre (2450)
9 Jan 07
My two factors are: TRUST & RESPECT These two must exist otherwise you don't have a relationship, whether it is with your wife, lover, child or friend. I 'hear' the cries of 'unconditional love is the key' in these posts, I'm going to stick my neck out and say: Look, do you really understand what UNCONDITIONAL LOVE is??? No relationship between lovers is unconditonal, there are always conditions. Unconditional loves says 'I will love you no matter what' and frankly is the cause of some abusive relationships. However I do recognise one source of unconditional love - I have a baby daughter (OK she's more of a toddler now) and I can confirm that I will love her no matter what she ever does to me. I can give that guarantee to no other person alive...this is not a sad thing, I just know myself and am being honest. Trust & Respect, those are my two...and they will get you a long way.
@livewyre (2450)
9 Jan 07
I was getting round the love part as it is a 'given' for me. Every 'marriage' or partnership has to have an element of love, but be aware that love means a lot of different things to a lot of different people - seems loads of people here think that love is unconditional... Here's one for you then - how do you define love? Try doing it without using words like trust and respect?
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
ok, I would simply define love as a genuine feeling of care, understanding, etc. towards someone. Back me up.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Ok, first of all I'm talking about a relationship with your wife or lover, and I'm also going to add that without love, there won't be a relationship in the first place. Thanks for your response. +
@foxsoon (150)
• Australia
8 Jan 07
Maybe I'm a Libran that's why I'm thinking in such way. Well, in order to have a good relationship, you need a balanced life in all area. You would also definitely need to make sure the person that comes in to your surroundings makes things better for you and these things can be hidden. For example he/she is being bossy and control you around, but then again you like it and got the stability in life so it's a workable relationship; but if the person hates to be controlled by a bossy person and wants a lot of freedom in life, of course it's unable to work out. So I guess when you say understanding, I think you need that before you even start a relationship. If the person you are in love with doesn't understand you in all things or everything no matter what you try or express, I guess you might as well give your love to your pets, they'll understand better. I think relationships starts off by understanding and trusting then you get the love and grace as in conditional and unconditional love between one another. As I was saying it is a balance because: a) If you understand too much of a person, you might be bored of the person and lose attraction. b) If you trust too much of a person (you need to remember that even you trust your whole life, he/she might be a jerk at one time and misplace your trust) so you also need to take a bit of caution c) Conditional love is something you need so when there are times you are lost, you will know something that is there and will always be there such as is conditional love to you maybe financially or being a provider, which is something you can fall back when relationship is unstable at times. d) Unconditional love is the most important of all and I think by unconditional love, it's usually the most important person and indirectly includes everything such as love, understanding, courage, bravery, etc. If you see the news usually unconditional love gets to the news such as a mother saving a baby by holding up a car to save her kid under it, that's also unconditional love, which usually comes in when your relationship is already on top of everything. Well, I'm not sure whether I was making sense but at least I have a go. Talking about that remember: (I saw it on my friend's msn nickname a few days back) "Do not love someone you can live with, love someone you cannot live without."
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I kind of agree with you. Thanks for your response. +
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Thanks a lot! double +.
@foxsoon (150)
• Australia
9 Jan 07
Always welcomed. I actually still learning a lot about relationships, maybe I think I understand how it works and stuff all by theory or stuff based on what I read, I see and I realized, but not having actually put it into practical use in a relationship as in I'm still single, yet again I think balancing my priorities and fending off myself from girls and relationships stuff so can reach my lifelong target first by using what I know, so I think and hopefully it helps. And I think this is one very interesting topic. +
1 person likes this
@artguy (1474)
• United States
8 Jan 07
The two most essential factors in a relationship is trust and understanding. If you have these two things love will come on it's own. When you truly understand each other there can be disagreements without argurments. When you truly trust each other there is no jealousy. Without jealousy and arguements you can truly have a great relationship.
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
I don't quite agree with you on that, love is what should bring a relationship in the first place. Trust and understanding without love cannot do the magic.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Thanks for your response though, +.
@shk1983 (142)
• India
9 Jan 07
1 faith with lot of love. 2 Understanding.
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
19 Jan 07
Hmmm... perfect combination. I totally agree with you. Thanks and +.
• United States
8 Jan 07
I would say trust and compromise. I don't think a relationship with anyone will thrive without trusting that person. Compromise is essential to a good working relationship. Without it, you won't get very far.
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Yes, it's true but understanding plays the consoler of trust when it has been beaten down (which will most likely happen). Thanks for your response. +.
• United States
9 Jan 07
In the time of arranged marriage, I would have to agree. Women were often traded for the dowry that they had and had to go into an entirely new environment with (often) a total stranger. They had to trust that their new husband would take care of them. And with more and more women working outside of the home, a compromise would be necessary to get household chores done. Love can come later and it's nice to have, but I think if you don't have trust, you'll never get the compromise or LOVE you crave.
@drmt57 (295)
• United States
9 Jan 07
i think love and trust is th two most essential factors in a relationship because to me love is caring, sharing, protecting, you have to be able to trust a person in order to be comfortable in sharing your deapest and personal thoughts
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Ok, but I think that love comes first(for the existence of a relationship in the first place) followed by understanding(to carry u thru the hard times) before anything else.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Thanks for the response and a +
@tambdy (1967)
8 Jan 07
I would say love is the main one if there is no love in the relationship then it will never work and to be truthful if there is no love the couple should not be together in the first place. I think there needs to be understanding aswell because people do alot of wrong things in life and that is just a part of life it is a everyday concurrence. There is also other things which you need to take into porspective aswell such as determination because if the couple is not determained to make the relationship to work then it never will. One of the other main ones which you need is trust i am a very insucure person and if there is no trust in the relationship then it will never work.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
You are totally right... without love, there would be no relationship in the first place, and the other factors you added are also very necessary. Thanks for the response and enlightenment. +
• Australia
9 Jan 07
While not denying that love at first sight is possible and indeed does happen, love usually develops from a lot of other feelings. Love, in its truest sense, is not normally instantaneous. Love normally develops out of friendship. I believe the most important aspects of any sort of friendship between two people are respect and liking. Over years of counselling I have listened to people telling of love growing cold from a variety of reasons. Where there is mutual respect, problems which can drive people apart, are usually faced and rectified. Along with respect, I would place liking. Love, in its looser sense, is flimsy and changeable. Where there is liking - a real appreciation of each other - and mutual respect, love takes on its real meaning and is then in control. I would agree with you, therefore, that love is the essential factor, but with so many meanings to that word today, qualification is necessary.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Yes you are right, but i'm not talking about love at first sight and I'm talking about romantic relationships. Thanks for your response. +
• India
8 Jan 07
I totally agree with you.Love and understanding are the most important thing in marriage.But above this, faith in each other and commitment to each other is more important.
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Exactly, after love and understanding, faith comes in with every other thing. Thanks for your response. +.
@ichampin (593)
• India
9 Jan 07
I would also go with Love and understanding, If you love you partner then you would only be able to survive in relationship, if you have better understanding then only you can go ahead with the decisions that require bioth of yours consent, other wise if you are not having a good understanding the petty fights would arouse then and now.But at the same time love and Understanding are two sides of same coin, If you have understanding then only you can love a person. o ther then love and understanding, There is one more thing that you needed in successful relationship and that is commitment.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
You are totally right, understanding very much comes after love which is the first and basic factor of a relationship. Thanks for your response. +
@doncris (637)
• Romania
8 Jan 07
I think it all hangs in unconditional love and honesty. Think about it: as long as you have these two, nothing could tare you apart because 1) you're love doesn't hang in anything; it's pure and "don't cost a thing" and 2) because you will always tell the truth and bring everything out in the open; no secrets means nothing to hide between each other.
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
Ok, thanks for the response and enlightenment! You get a +
@shywolf (4514)
• United States
9 Jan 07
I agree with what you said. Love is the most important thing. You must wake every day and show the love that is in your heart to your partner in every way that you can. Never forget that a relationship is something that must be worked at to keep it feeling new and beautiful. If you do one nice thing for your partner a day (or more! ^_^ ) it will go so far towards keeping the relationship healthy. And understanding is also good. I think that listening to your partner and trying to understand where they are coming from is very important! ^_^ So you have pretty much hit the nail on the head. Love and understanding, and/or listening. I think that these are the best things! ^_^
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Wow... I am totally impressed by your way of thinking, you have gone that far to explain more my opinion and I think your response is the best so far, not because you agreed with me, but because that was totally convincing in a brief way. If that wasn't my opinion, I would have been totally convinced to accept yours. Thanks for the enlightening response. Best response.
@chel_0525 (203)
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
for me love and trust..one can not stand alone without the other.
1 person likes this
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Ok, thanks for your response. +
• India
8 Jan 07
unconditional love n faith r the two most important ingredients....unconditional love forges two into one n faith keeps them forged together
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
8 Jan 07
ok, but what happens when the faith is broken because of cheating, etc. Then understanding has got to come in. Thanks for your response. +
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
19 Jan 07
I would have to go with love and HONESTY.. honesty is a big thing for me since i have been so betrayed in the past that i now get hurt by even the smallest lie. I am lucky though that i have found a great guy that feels no need to lie to me and he has been honest about things i never thought he would.. evensome things that hurt, but he was honest and that is a big thing for me!
1 person likes this
• United States
9 Jan 07
I am more simplistic. All you need is a you and a me. The rest is gravy. That's all the relationship should revolve around.
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
9 Jan 07
Ok, you and me... what if I'm a b***h and u are a jerk? Then love and understanding will have to come into the big picture and help us to survive. Thanks for your response. +
@eseomame (1146)
• United States
19 Jan 07
samirntpc... a dream comment as in?
@aroraasr (428)
• India
19 Jan 07
For me the most essential for a relationship are ready to sacrifice, caring nature and not to miss, love. Without these factors a relationship cant exist for long.
• Pakistan
19 Jan 07
I think any relationship is standing on two pillars wether its the relationship of friendship or love or parential relationship or any other kinds of relationship its standing on two pillars. One is love and other is trust. If you have these two things then you are having a successful relationship.
1 person likes this
@ntejani17 (742)
• Pakistan
19 Jan 07
I think understanding , love and faith are the essential factors of relationship..
1 person likes this
@ntejani17 (742)
• Pakistan
19 Jan 07
I think understanding , love and faith are the essential factors of relationship..
1 person likes this