She is older than me but I want to marry her. Plzz help me!!!!

@kingatul (849)
India
January 8, 2007 11:30am CST
My girlfriend is 4 years older than me,but I am very much in love with her and want to marry her. She is my brother's sister in law and my parents know her very well. But when I told my parents that I love her and want to marry her,they refused saying that they can't allow me to marry a girl more than my age. I don't understand how does age affects the decision to marry anyone . Please tell me what to do. I am madly in love with her and I can even go against my parents will.
11 people like this
185 responses
@sasa001 (12)
• Croatia (Hrvatska)
8 Jan 07
listen to your heart and marry her 4 years is nothing!!! That is a very strange practice where are you coming from?
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
8 Jan 07
I'm from India. But thanks for the response
1 person likes this
@kool78 (490)
• India
8 Jan 07
u are younger to her. she must have completed her studies when u were studying. how will u manage to take care of her?
1 person likes this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
i've gotta job now and that is why I asked my parents permission to marry her
1 person likes this
@krysy1982 (1042)
• United States
9 Jan 07
If the girl feels the same way then go for it.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
yes she is with me in any decision which I take.
1 person likes this
• Thailand
9 Jan 07
Whats with age? it doesnt really matter as long as you love each other age is not an issue. If i were in your shoes i'll talk to my parents with persistence and explaing to them my side. You said it your self your madly inlove with her and you can go against them. Think about this, you and your future wife will live together in the end and not you and your parents =).
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
thanks for your response.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 07
Ya I think you should marry her, if she love too you as much as you do. Because its a life time decision. Its better to marry the one who loves you more than whom you love. In your case if its just matter of waiting for others approval, its better not to wait anymore.
@kingatul (849)
• India
10 Jan 07
I have almost decided on marrying her against my parent's will thanks for your suggestion
@sonam14 (141)
• India
9 Jan 07
hey man if u both r in love just go and marry coz u should not leave ur love and ruin anybody else's life by marrying anyone else..go get her
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
you are right I can't even think of loving anybody else than her.
1 person likes this
@vdeebs (65)
• India
9 Jan 07
go and marry her dude your parents will surely accept it later on. best wishes from my side and just remember me in case you need any help. aakhir dil da mamla hai..... good luck
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
aur dil de maamle mein der nahi karni chahiye Am I right? Well I've almost decided that I'll tell my parents that I'm going to marry her ,whatever may be the consequences
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 07
you can marry with your girlfriend only with the permission of our parents because every parent wishes good to their children and they thought that if you marry a girl which is 4 years older than you, then after some years there may be some problems in your life. make them convince by explaining or giving others relationship who are married to older girl.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
I also think that my parents permission will make me feel good.
1 person likes this
@cisco1 (539)
• United States
9 Jan 07
i know other cultures are different, i am american, in here, i would tell you marry her anyways. if she makes you happy marry her, it not yoru parents choice to tell you who to marry and whos not, maybe this is your soulmate. go after it! marry the girl.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
yes we indians have a different culture than americans but love is the same everywhere. I'll marry her. Thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 07
You dont have to think so much or ask anybodies help. I think there is no rule written that always girls should be younger to boys it can also be otherway. But make sure that she loves u. Coz very rarely girls love in love with the guys younger to them.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
Thanks for your suggestion
1 person likes this
@ac080576 (22)
• India
9 Jan 07
hi there i guess people marrying older than their age is not a sin or a problem but the way oru sociey looks is a bit strange one. i think u should convince ur parents that its nothing illegal moreover u can bennifit in 2 ways. firstly as she is older than u she should be muchmore matured and caring towards u and ur family. moreover secondly behind every successful man there is always the hand of a woman. she might be woman of ur life who can make u successful man in life. one cant forget our indian cricket legend Sachin Tendulker, even he is married to a lady who is 5 years older than him. so its nothing unacceptable the only problem is that how people look towards it. i suggest that u should move on with the affair and make it a success story and lead an example for others facing such problems. my best wishes are with u
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
I don't really think about setting an example . What I want is that I should be with her.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 07
Wel, buddy I cant say love other gal and der r many options to youu. Love should be 2-way and i assume dat u both love eachother deeply and madly. Age of course doesnt matter in love. and i think its an allowable difference it cud be neglected as wel. Otherwise if it ws like 10 yrs difference den you cud face problem in ur S** life.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
thanks for the response.
1 person likes this
@Bhutto (742)
• India
9 Jan 07
hai King Atul i am glad you told your parents about it.It is always a problem to marry a girl who is elder to you in age, as girls catch up with age much quicker than boys. This is the only reason i see.But to be honest marry a person you love the most i lost that chance and i still regret about it.You can never be honest with anybody else.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
Yours is the best response I've recieved till now but you know I've already handed out the best response to some one else. But you are absolutely right we should be marrying the person whom we love the most. and I'm going to do so.
1 person likes this
@mfibong (138)
• Singapore
9 Jan 07
4 years age gap isn't that a big deal!..in just 4 years age gap, most of the time one can't even tell who is older or younger..it's not the age that matters but how each of you is matured enough to handle your commitment with each other...
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
That's what I was trying to say . She has the same mental frequency like me and we even think in the same way. She says that whatever I'll decide will be what she'll be doing.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 07
in my point of view....age matter dosn't lies between love...love is always blind....suppose if girls age is less than your age nearly 8-9 years then girls also want to say that my boyfriend age is so higher than i m not marry to him.....y.....girls are not thinking so....but y always boys thinks so.....in my suggestions if ur girlfriend is equivalent or some higher to your age...she thinks always better than you...when any trouble in your life then both of them solve easily....this is total indian tendency....that girls age is lower than boy...but in usa,america..etc...contries they don't think so....that reasons they are always growing fast......tell ur parents how much u love her in brief.....thanx...tell me if got any response...???
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
you have very rightly said that this is purely an Indian tendency. I mean come on how long will we believe in such age old customs.
1 person likes this
@gm240359 (43)
• India
9 Jan 07
Hi. It was never a problem for William Shakespeare (whose wife was 12 years' older) and few other genii, who married women older than their own ages. Your parents may be convinced by their example. Tell them, behind every successful man, there is a woman and wife older by age can benefit in two ways. On one hand she can make your love-life pleasant with love and adoration and on the other hand, she can take almost mom-like care of yourself as well as the entire household, including your parents. This will in the long run benefit you in single-minded pursuit of your career. True love is a heart to heart communication and even physical intimacy is not dependent on age-factor. So, what's the hesitation. Go ahead.
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
Shakespeare didn't existed in India. But still you are right .Age shouldn't be a bar in love or marriage.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
9 Jan 07
In love, age doesnt matter! But if you also value your parents..then you must select from them..either your parents or the woman you love..Or try explaining your parents about her, about your feelings naybe they can understand you for that. There is no such problem having a wife which is more than your age as long as there was love grows for each other.
2 people like this
@kingatul (849)
• India
9 Jan 07
I'm also looking for a middle path .I cannot select between my parents and my gf because I love them both very much. I think I'll have to be patient and try explaining to my parents how much I love her.
1 person likes this
@Sarah1977 (495)
• United States
8 Jan 07
I can tell you from my own personal experience, age DOES NOT matter when it comes to love. I am a 29 year old woman, and my husband is 53. We have been married for 10 years now, and we are still madly in love with each other. Of course, there are and always will be judgemental people who stare at us and act like we are insane, but we don't care! If you truly love this woman, you should marry her. If you don't, you might never find true love again, and you will regret it. Don't let other people's opinions influence your decision.....do what your heart is telling you.
@kgwat70 (13392)
• United States
8 Jan 07
This is great that you two are married and have been married for so long. Glad that you do not care what people think about the age difference between you and your husband. I would not have a problem marrying a woman older than me. I agree what you said about do what your heart tells you. It is hard to find true love and this might be his one opportunity.
1 person likes this
• India
9 Jan 07
IF YOU ARE MADLY IN LOVE WITH THAT GIRL I THINK YOU SHOULD TALK TO UR GIRLFRIEND AND THEN YOU TWO SHOULD TAKE A DECISION ....AGE DOES NOT MATTERS AS FAR AS YOU LOVE EACH OTHER ....IF YOU CAN GO AGAINST UR PARENTS GO .... IF THEY LOVE YOU PEOPLES THEY WILL ACCEPT YOU AFTER UR MARRIAGE
2 people like this
@shemb1 (465)
• Sri Lanka
9 Jan 07
I think if there is no problem betwwen you and your girl friend what ever matter is not big deal. Am I right friend. In the way you ask the help , I feel you are asian and i know you like have your parents acceptence of your marriage. So The I think you try to explain to your mom and dad , about how is not imprtant between age difference to your marriage, and show when you marry this girl you will be happy and she will treate your parents to as good girl. then i think your agree for this.
• India
9 Jan 07
Don't take any decision in haste. Listen to both - ur heart and mind. Take a unanimous decision.
2 people like this