Absolutely no bedside manner
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
Canada
January 9, 2007 10:11pm CST
Have you ever had a bad experience with a doctor, nurse or other hospital staff?
While I have the utmost regard for those in the medical field, I will never forget the night my Dad died. He actually died at home, after having a heart attack in the living room, but he was rushed to and pronounced dead at the hospital. I remember my mom, standing in the ER corridor, while my dad was inside. The doctor finally came out, looked at her for a brief moment and just shrugged his shoulders and walked away! THAT was how she was advised that she had just lost her husband of almost 30 years. She started to slump to the floor and my sister and I were trying to take care of her... fortunately, there was an intern nearby who immediately came over to help. He was the kindest, gentlest young man and he stayed with her for the longest time, until he felt assured that she was ok. I think HE has a bright future.
2 people like this
4 responses
@missytia (387)
• Australia
10 Jan 07
I am so sorry that your mother and you and your sister had to experience that from a doctor. That is soooooo rude. Some people should not be given their medical licence if they have absolutely no compassion.
Not long after I had given up smoking I had what I though was just a common cold and a cough. The cough was that bad that I ended up tearing a muscle in my stomach. Anyway I had to book myself into the doctor as the pain in my stomach was really bad and I could not control the cough. I could not get in to see my regular doctor and was placed on a waiting list. I got called in to see a different doctor. When I went in, he examined me and told me that I had bronchitis and asked if I was a smoker. I said that I had quit recently. He looked at my file and said "Oh, you've only just quit (it had been 2 weeks). It's still your fault you have bronchitis in the first place as you were a smoker". I thought this was extremely rude. Next time I saw my regular doctor I told him what the other doctor had said. He agreed with me that it was rude and that I should have been encouraged for giving up, not scolded. I definitely won't be seein that doctor again.
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
10 Jan 07
Good grief... so much for positive reinforcement! Nothing like being blamed for trying :( I often wonder if doctors get fed up after a time and just don't think about what they say ?? Not that that's an excuse or anything...
I remember going to a dr for pneumonia when I was in high school. I had been a nail biter my whole life and was really ashamed of how my hands looked. I always hid them from people. Because I was so sick, I forgot to hide them from this particular doctor, who proceeded to say (out loud, in the middle of the clinic), "I can't believe that a girl of YOUR age still bites her nails... that is just RIDICULOUS. Your hands are a disgrace." Go ahead -- kick me when I'm down LOL The only good thing to come out of that rude behavior was that I was so humiliated that I stopped biting my nails that very day.
@hockeygal4ever (10021)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Unfortunately those with horrible bedside manners are out there but not necessarily a bad doc. I had one of the top surgeons in the world to take out my last bout of cancer. She had the bedside manner of a toad but was so well known for her skills, I figured when I'm knocked out and my life depends on it she really doesn't have to talk to me! lol
I generally won't tolerate rudeness by ANYONE and she wasn't rude as much as just not sociable I guess. For the most part if a person is rude, I tell them I don't like their tone or manner, etc. and see if we can continue in a better fashion. If not, then I definitely move on.
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
12 Jan 07
You're so right, hockeygal. My mom's oncologist could be a typical grumpy old man most days. He was a really good dr, bucketloads of experience and highly recommended. But he would make such snide or snippy remarks and my mom, being in such pain, didn't always take them with a grain of salt. She would get hurt but not say anything because she felt a bit at his mercy as he had been touted as "the best" she could get.
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
10 Jan 07
Oh my. I am so sorry that your mother, sister and you had to experience such a callous physician. Sadly, there are many callous people in the medical field. The way that I see it, many choose to go into the medical professions because they see it as a good money maker. They are not in the professions for the right reasons. Because of this, they burn out quickly and become callous and non-caring in their delivery of care. Still others are burned out just from years of being overworked, they may have started out very caring and empathetic, but have become tired and fed up. They keep working because they have bills to pay, but have long since quit enjoying the work. The young intern sounds like he is still gung ho and excited. Lets hope he stays that way!! If only people would stop and think about a field of study and profession before they chose it, we may have more people in the medical field who really ENJOY the work rather than seeing it as a good paycheck!
1 person likes this
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
11 Jan 07
crazynurse, I really appreciate your response. It's true that the medical field is appealing to some for the monetary rewards, rather than the personal rewards. Like any other profession though, it WILL have its share of burnouts and probably an even higher proportion of them due to the long hours, stressful situations, etc.
Where I live, it's almost impossible to find a doctor anymore. I see one that is actually in the area where I USED to live because I can't get anyone closer by. It's about an hour's drive to and from her office... but I'm fine with that. I'm just grateful to have care. When I started with her, three or four other doctors in the same clinic were also accepting new patients. A friend of mine recently tried to get in there and she was told that they are at capacity. No new patients will be accepted.
I see the difference, even in the waiting room. There are many more people each time I go, all the staff are stressed, from the receptionists through to the nurses and assistants, right on to the doctors. I give them all credit for being attentive and helpful but the strain is obvious.
I hope that, somehow, changes will be made that will allow people like that intern that helped my mom to work in an environment that continues to inspire them and afford them the opportunities to do their best work. It can only benefit all concerned!
