Computer Error Messages
@vissu295_1986 (376)
India
January 10, 2007 7:39am CST
# Cannot find REALITY.SYS. Universe halted.
# COFFEE.EXE Missing - Insert Cup and Press Any Key
# Buy a Pentium 586/90 so you can reboot faster.
# 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
# Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.
# Computers are not intelligent. They only think they are.
# My software never has bugs. It just develops random features.
# C:WINDOWS95 C:WINDOWS95GO C:PCCRAWL
# C:DOS C:DOSRUN RUNDOSRUN
# Best file compression around: "DEL *.*" = 100% compression
# The Definition of an Upgrade: Take old bugs out, put new ones in.
# BREAKFAST.COM Halted...Cereal Port Not Responding
# The name is Baud......, James Baud.
# BUFFERS=20 FILES=15 2nd down, 4th quarter, 5 yards to go!
# Access denied--nah nah na nah nah!
# C: Bad command or file name! Go stand in the corner.
# Bad command. Bad, bad command! Sit! Stay! Staaay..
# Why doesn't DOS ever say "EXCELLENT command or filename!"
# As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing.
# Southern DOS: Y'all reckon? (Yep/Nope)
# Backups? We don' *NEED* no steenking backups.
# E Pluribus Modem
# ... File not found. Should I fake it? (Y/N)
# Ethernet (n): something used to catch the etherbunny
# A mainframe: The biggest PC peripheral available.
# An error? Impossible! My modem is error correcting.
# CONGRESS.SYS Corrupted: Re-boot Washington D.C (Y/n)?
# Does fuzzy logic tickle?
# A computer's attention span is as long as it's power cord.
# 11th commandment - Covet not thy neighbor's Pentium.
# Disinformation is not as good as datinformation.
# Windows: Just another pane in the glass.
# SENILE.COM found . . . Out Of Memory . . .
# Who's General Failure & why's he reading my disk?
# Ultimate office automation: networked coffee.
# RAM disk is *not* an installation procedure.
# Shell to DOS...Come in DOS, do you copy? Shell to DOS...
# All computers wait at the same speed.
# DEFINITION: Computer - A device designed to speed and automate errors.
3 people like this
3 responses
@SK401001 (934)
• United States
31 Jan 07
A blind man enters a Lesbian bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar
stool and orders a drink. After sitting there for a while the blind guy
yells to the bartender: "Hey, wanna hear a blonde joke?' A deathly
silence
transcends the bar. In a deep, husky, menacing voice, the woman next to
him
says: "Before you tell that joke, you should know something. The
bartender
is blonde, the bouncer is blonde, and I'm a 6' tall, 200lb blonde with a
black belt in Karate. What's more, the woman sitting next to me is blonde
and she's a weight lifter. The lady to your right is a blonde and she's a
pro wrestler. Think about it seriously, Mister. You still wanna tell
that
joke?"
The blind man pauses to think, and says, "Nah, not if I'm gonna have to
explain it five times."
@nana1944 (1365)
• United States
23 Jan 07
Still More Signs Technology Took Over Your Life
- You are so knowledgeable about technology that you feel secure enough to say "I don't know" when someone asks you a technology question instead of feeling compelled to make something up.
- You rotate your screen savers more frequently than your automobile tires.
-. You have a functioning home copier machine, but every toaster you own turns bread into charcoal.
- You have ended friendships because of irreconcilably different opinions about which is better, the track ball or the track pad.
- You understand all the jokes in this message. If so, my friend, technology has taken over your life. We suggest, for your own good, that you go lie under a tree and write a haiku. And don't use a laptop.
- You email this message to your friends over the net. You'd never get around to showing it to them in person or reading it to them on the phone. In fact, you have probably never met most of these people face-to-face.
- You don't even read magazine articles anymore, unless someone's keyed them into e-mail and forwarded it to you.
- While you're away from home, the first three numbers you call are your voicenet, a bulletin board, and one of your e-mail accounts.
-You are reading this from a screen.
