A friend of mine....

Well, I completely understand not adding fuel to the fire!! You are right in that a marriage is between two people...not two people plus 3, ya know!! I feel the same in that threesomes are for those that are not in serious relationships...I have never been in one, but have been invited and didn't feel comfortable at all in participating due to the fact that they were an engaged couple and she was my boss!!! But...you mentioned that it was a "Ozzie and Harriet" type of marriage, so with that all I can figure is that the marriage is starting to turn a little "dull" and she is wanting to spice it up. Whether it be for her or she thinks that might be what he wants, I think that is what she is trying to do (or it could be a deep dark fantasy that she has never talked about until now!!). Either way, I think that if he doesn't feel comfortable then he should tell her that and come up with a different, "spicy-er" way that will not only be good for both, but also be more comfortable!!

Sounds familar. My husband wants to us to become swingers. I'm not into it. What would happen if you end up with aids, or a std. You never know. I pledged myself to just one person and I think that's the way it should stay. We have been married for almost 18 years now. Sure it would spice things up but you never know what would happen. We are both very jealous people. Crazy but we love each other alot. He hates when another man talks to me and I don't like it when other woman hang on him. So I don't think it would work out for us. His wife must be getting bored of the same routine. Maybe he should romance her again and change things up. I hope they don't do this but if they do I guess that's their life.

you could consider another view point...that very often people, both sexes fantasize about these varied situations. it is all fantasy..in the mind, yet they do verbalise it during the heat of passion. however, despite the verbalisation, they do not really mean it and if the partner were to bring it up in broad daylight or appear to be acting on it, it could cause terrible heartburn and damage to the relationship. please do try and make sure that the offer for the threesome was not part of such a fantasy which both may have done while pandering to each other during their lovemaking. it may wellturn out that his being upset is because of bringing up the matter later.

I dont agree with threesomes. I think they are nasty and gross. I dont think it has anyplace in a marriage. I think that marriage should mean something and that by "sharing" your partner you are making your marriage less than what it should be. If threesomes were sooo great, then they would allow people to have more than one wife or husband. IT is against the law for a reason.

I think it depends on the couple. There are couples who have open marraiges etc and they are perfectly happy with that, but it will destroy other people's relationships. I think your friend and his wife need to have a serious chat about whether this is really for them.

I agree in that it sounds like she is trying to spice things up. However, this is a BAD way to do it. I have never heard of a reltionship that went unharmed in this situation. Eventually someone gets hurt or jealous or worse. What happens when this 3 some becomes a 2 some in private, unbeknownst to the significant other? That does happen, alot. There are some serious repricussions they need to discuss and consider. Bottom line, he doesn't wnat to do it. End of story. No matter how much she does, he is against it and it should be dropped. He is uncomfortable. He needs to stand his ground on that matter and stand up for his marriage. Then think of some way to spice things up in another way. Make sense? Good luck to your friends. It's hard when things get bored, but it's just a bump in the road. This too shall pass!

I agree with you. It's a marriage and if it has lasted for 12 years then it must be that it's lost a bit of spark in the bedroom for her to wish to engage in this. I would suggest to them both to try some new things just between the two of them to spark up the relationship again. Engaging in a relationship with a third person will rip their marriage apart, most likely jealousy if she believes he is liking the other woman better in the sack. However I can't believe that she would even suggest it to him. Is she having a relationship with this girl already? Is this why she wants it all together? Is the girl more to satisfy her or her husband? Really I would suggest they walk away from it. If I were him I'd be insulted to be asked to share in something that should be so special between a husband and wife.

Maybe she suggested it because she thought HE wanted it?!? I know as a woman, I try to do everything in my power to make my man happy, even if it's not something that I neccesarily want to do. You know what I mean? Maybe she only asked because she thought that is what he might of wanted. My old man and I have discussed having one. We both agreed that it is something for single people to do and that we love eachother and would not want to risk our relationship over something so silly. We are both very jealous people too...so that would make it much harder to actually go through with. I think that they should be sitting down and having a serious talk about this. Maybe she is tired of being a good girl and really wants this, maybe not. The only thing he can do is ask for an explanation. And hope for the best! Tell your friend I said Good Luck.

I would never ever try that with a partner whom I am really in love. I think it would be the downfall of my relationship. I am not ready to share my partner with anybody else. I have read a quotation recently and it is still imprinted in my mind. It says something like this." A real man is not a man who make love to 1000 women but a man who makes love to his woman in 1000 ways."

I'm not even looking at the moral dimensions--purely rational, it's an invitation of trouble, to bring in anyone else... emotions misdirected, risks of intimacy lost, disease, unwanted pregnancies, new temptations. One has to ask why did she make him this offer? Was it something he's shown an interest in and pestered her for? Or was she feeling guilty for something? You've got to wonder about these kinds of things.

WOW, it is hard to speculate as to what brought this on so we can only assume she wants to experiment? This kind of lifestyle doesn't work for most couples. If you cherish your marriage as you should as sacred then you wouldn't be thinking of this kind of opportunity. If not keeping your marriage sacred and your vows intact, then you should be sure both people are comfortable with the situation and agreeable. This often ruins relationships and marriages. What if they do it once, and one can't stop? How would the other spouse feel? How could he/she still love the other? Also, there is the possibility of contracting STDs. It is like opening a can of worms with dynamite. Hope you can get them both to see the possibilities of what may happen on the negative side.

No one can turn this housewife into a hooker... she is already one, and only wants to come out in the open at this time. It is sufficient grounds for divorce.

I wouldn't want to risk my marriage for something like that. I'm happily married (most of the time!) and I don't think it would be worth it. I think you gave your friend solid advice, but maybe they're just curious about what they could be missing?

I do not think that it would be a good idea to engage in threesomes especially with your better hlf. that is sooo not needed in a marriage

yeah i agree with you. and i couldnt have said it any better. Marriage is for two people not three. and having a threesome may cause problems later down in the road.

well i am agreed to ur opinion buddy...

I have to agree with you. If you are single it is not a big deal, but if you are with someone even if not married and just a committed relationship, I don't think that this is something that should be done. If they go through with it there will be many problems to come. One or both may start suspectig the other of cheating, this will cause their relationship to dwindle. Trust will just be one of the problems that could stem from this. There could be so many more to go along with it. If they have been married happily for 12 years, nothing is broken, why bother trying to fix something that is just fine.

marriage is something which is a very pure relation between two people. you should not involve any other person in your privacy, as this can turn out to cause trouble in your happy life

friends are special gifts to us god gifted them to us so make use of them anmd u should help them in all means

Is she asking for 2 males or 2 females? If 1st one, perhaps she trying to tell you something? If 2nd One She either just wants to please you! or She gone Bi & this easist way to get what she wants without be called cheating on you, either way, is a bad move.... once done....is done can be very damging in more ways you can imagine...just for the sake of 1 moment!