Is it normal for me to want her to get raped?

Philippines
January 10, 2007 3:32pm CST
What if, You were in a serious relationship for about 3years. Shared every special occassion together. Planned your future together. You loved everything about your partner. The hair,looks,attitude, everything, even the pet. Then suddenly out of the blue, Your partner told you that she had been sleeping with another person for about 2 years and he/she wants to break it off because he/she wants to move in with the other person. You realized that you have been pissed on your whole relationship. You feel like your future was ruined. Everythings falling apart since you knew about that. Is it normal for depressed people like you to think horrible thoughts like murder or rape or any of this kind?
10 people like this
67 responses
@suedarr (2382)
• Canada
10 Jan 07
I am not a psychologist, but I do think that in a situation like you describe it is normal to be extremely angry and hurt. It might be even normal to wish the person ill. However to act out violently would definitely not be normal and if the person feels that strongly about it or are caught up in a desire for revenge they should seek professional help for coping with their feelings.
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
Maybe if I were in this situation, I'll be in the comfort of my family. They will never leave me no matter what. The help of a professional will come when I can't handle the agony even with the help of my family and friends.
2 people like this
@avs189 (1030)
• India
11 Jan 07
I would say that true love never seeks revenge or hatred ..one who truely loves his partner always wishes for his well -being and pleasant future immaterial of the events undergone or caused to him....love is abt forgiveness and accpeting others howevr they may be .......its upto u now how u handle the situation????
• Pakistan
11 Jan 07
id say forget about it dude and stay calm dont commit anything stupid now coz there r chances of u doing something dangerous like that just move on and say that she wasnt worth it u r too good for her ;)
@puma_nz (999)
• New Zealand
10 Jan 07
Its normal to have "ILL" feelings about that person but to take it as far as RAPE and MURDER.. I wouldnt wish that upon my WORST Enemy.. Lets just put it this way.. She was NOT meant for you!! You are FAR too good for her... What goes around comes around and it will bite her a$$ tenfold so please as much as you are p***ed off with her.. Put focus on someone who is in need of YOUR love.
2 people like this
• Philippines
10 Jan 07
So you mean, wait for "karma" to come. Yes your right, focusing on loved ones is one of the solutions to overcome the suffering. One has left but MANY still remain.
2 people like this
@34momma (13891)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I think that those are kind of harsh thoughts to have for someone you loved even if they did break your heart. i have been there, i have had my heart broken. but the real way you know what real love is, is to want what is best for that person rather you are with them or not. i am not saying to be hurt, angry, or upset. that is normal. but wanting someone you love to be ok is the real test of love
@cuterose (1698)
• India
11 Jan 07
absolutely correct! rated plus. each time you post something superb. i'm impressed!
@emarie (5447)
• United States
11 Jan 07
well...feeling upset is understandable, but thoughts of harm might be a little harsh and you're probablt harboring some issues there. true something like that can be hurtful and thinking about it for a while is okay...just take no action on it and everything should be fine. people make mistakes and sometimes they just don't know how to tell you its over. its something, as humans, we have to deal with. your life isn't over...trust me, she/he wasn't the one for you and breaking it off now intead when you're married with children is a lot better. don't you think. just put a positive spin on it..
1 person likes this
@mtdewgurl74 (18159)
• United States
11 Jan 07
I know if that happened to me I would be ticked off beyond my control and would want revenge yeah but to actually murder or rape someone no make their life a living hell? Yes, I would want to. I would get really depressed also, I mean you give this person your all then they throw it back in your face by telling you they have been sleeping with another person for 2 years of the 3 that you were together. That would mentally cause me some mental anguish and make me want to resort to violence but it would be best to try to control oneself so that they don't do anyhting they would regret later on. It also messes with your trust monitor. Makes you think you can't trust anyone again because of what happened. It would take me awhile to get back on my feet ans get over it but I would try and then I would get on with my life and try to find someone better and who would never do that to me.
1 person likes this
@saphire539 (1641)
• United States
11 Jan 07
It was wrong of your partner to cheat on you like that but it is more wrong to want something so awful to happen to them let your partner know how much what they done hurt you and how it will be hard for you to forgive them and then try to move on with your life.I know what it is like to be cheated on my husband has cheated on me multiple times since we got married 3 years ago but i try to forgive him and keep my marriage going.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Jan 07
I don't think this is normal at all. This is sick and twisted, and normalcy leads to justification. I could understand being extremely hurt and upset, and even falling into depressiona nd would urge you to talk to a professional because thay must hurt more than words could describe. I would also urge you to take some time to build yourself up. Doing things to improve your own lot in life will make you feel better and take your mind off things. good luck.
• India
10 Jan 07
one my friends went thru a similar situation... i think its normal to feel angry.... different people react in different ways and have different feelings... its okay to have such feelings as u have as long as u dont act upon them... it does hurt a lot to be cheated by the person u loved the most and such feelings are bound to come even if u dont want them to..
1 person likes this
• India
11 Jan 07
I would think about getting commited with her. But a long term relationship, even bed relationship. Some people find my answers to be wiered. But come people, thats practical.
@puma_nz (999)
• New Zealand
11 Jan 07
Are you even in the same discussion?? Are you on the same planet even??
• United States
12 Jan 07
It is normal and okay to feel angry and hurt with this type of situation. Everyone handles their anger in different ways. However, if someone is wishing harm upon someone else, I think it has gone to far. If this is happening, you might need counseling to help even out your feelings. I would hope that nobody would want someone they once cared for to be hurt.
@Zephory (176)
• United States
11 Jan 07
Hmm......I think revenge is a normal rational human emotion, especially when someone you love has betrayed you. I don't think wishing rape or even murder is a healthy thought at all. I think it is just a chemical inbalance in your brain which is a result from the shock and the pain your sigificant other may have caused you. I think in time it will heal and hopefully you can move on.
• United States
11 Jan 07
i would tell her exactly how you feel. in pretty much the same words if not meaner. people should not go sleeping around and then come home and tell someone that they love them and want to spend their life together. all that does is mess with your head. call her up and cus her out about 5 times a day until you feel better or until she quits answering the phone. sometimes it helps if you do it and then say your sorry the next day and then do it again.
@kou7hik (243)
• India
11 Jan 07
This is totally unacceptable. I agree that you have a lot of problems. But once you have loved a person for these many years how can you think of such things to that person? Love is not time bound.. the web of problems you are facing will clear off and then you will understand that what you are thinking right now is not even close to what you really need. Best of luck for your life and dont ever think of such things!
@Celanith (2334)
• United States
11 Jan 07
If this is yourself, you seriously need help to work though the rage, anger, feeling of helplessness, and more, If nothing more go see a pastor or priest they give free counseling.
@Pekachu (1112)
• United States
11 Jan 07
no i dont think thats normal at all i think that person should get help imediately if they feel that way that is why there is so much crime in this world
@MissGia (955)
• United States
11 Jan 07
It is normal to be angry about something like this..thats 3 years of your life gone down the drain. If thinking horrible thoughts about the person like murder or rape is your outlet to let of steem, then yea i'd say thats normal.. As long as you stay in that realm..where its not real and just thoughts your good to go..but when you actually think about doing it..then you need help.
• Australia
11 Jan 07
Sure you can be angry as long as you don't act out on it. The best thing to do is to get on with your life. In the long run you will find that karma will her around and she will get what is coming to her.
• United States
11 Jan 07
I would like to start off by saying that I am happy to know that you arent living a lie anymore..... I am in a differnt situtation but I to hate the person that has hurt me and I have to realize myself like you healing is a process and that comes with time. The thoughts that you have now only last a time please dont act on them because it was not you who did wrong it was that horrible chick you once loved. Everyone loves to be in love, that is what your missing being in love you cant love her anymore because it was all a lie. Heads up on something you dont know her because if you did you would have expected this, what you do know is that you where in love and thats something special. The truth is she never took anything from you because you know how to be a faithful man who knows how to treat a woman, she was taking from herself by not being honest and truthful what kinda person is she. I do hope that what I said has some kind of differece to you. Good luck and all the happiness in the world, take the next relationship slow. And hold back your feelings until you know that she is what you deserve.
• Philippines
11 Jan 07
It must have been very painful for you, to know that the person you very well trusted, have betrayed you, much more your loved one did it. BUT you have to ENDURE it. It is not WRONG to have ill feelings toward this 'person', but bear in mind, that it is not her who's hurting, it's YOU. The longer you keep that hatred inside you, the longer you wish something bad to her/him, the longer you remain bitter, and remorseful. You might loose those that care most about you, around you. Forget about her/him, (although I know it's hard). Focus on what you have, and not on the person you've lost
11 Jan 07
I would say that you're just very hurt and vunerable right now -- I mean, it's natural after something like this' happened to you -- that doesn't make it right though -- just try and immerse yourself in something else -- maybe work or something -- otherwise you run the risk of being completely consumed with revenge and motives -- not good in the long run.