What Would You Talk About Before Getting Married

In a perfect world... you would do that. And probably a lot of people do just that. But you cannot possibly solve all the problems of life before getting married. You can only deal with most issues when they do happen. That is what marriage is all about. Trying to solve problems together. Many men and women will agree to anything and everything before getting married... just to get married. Their attitude is... "I'll deal with this when we are married". So if your husband promised to do the dishes... and now he won't do them... what are you going to do? Divorce him? Will you think your marriage was base on a lie? That is the problem with settings rules before marriage. When the rules are broken... you have trouble. If you want your husband to do the dishes, you should get yourself a boyfriend who does the dishes without being asked. If he does not do them now, he won't do them when you are married. Setting rules is about changing people. People don't want to change and they will resent you when you are trying to change them.

Just like you, I would talk about: 1. Finances -who handles who, what part of the expenses will each of you take care of, do you share the expenses, does your husband needs to give you his whole salary, etc 2. Kids - How many children would you wnat to have? Who would take care of the baby? Would you hire a nanny? 3. Place to Stay - where would you two live? Would you stay with your in laws or would you prefer to live independently from your in-laws 4. School - Where will your kids study, private or public school? 5. Religion - if you two have different religion, which relegion would you practice at home? Which religion would you impart on your future kids? 6. Work - Will you still allow your wife to work after getting married or if you have kids?

That sounds just like what my priest would say to discuss, so of course we discuss all that. But more importantly, you should discuss responsibilities. Like, who will make dinners, or who is going to clean? We are doing it all 50/50 and I made that clear b/c I don't want someone to expect me to clean all day when I'm not gonna. Basically after you figure out the big things on your list, it's a good idea to discuss the small things. In the long run, it's the small things that can eat away at you.

There are so many things you should know about your partner before taking such a commitment and it's good to talk about all the things you've mentioned..In the end, it's really important most if you both are willing to bend a little when needed..Life likes to throw little surprises at you so issues may come up you never thought you needed to discuss before. In those cases, being with a partner that is willing to meet you half way in a solution make things go much smoother..

You have to talk about where you stand on major life issues like career, finances, your families and children. If one of you wants kids right away and the other never wants them, it's not going to work. Same with careers. If you both want to be work-aholics, that may not work either. Then there are the basics that you should already know about each other like religious beliefs, political views, household habits, hobbies and interests. If you both hate to cook, food is going to be a struggle every day. In short, you have to be able to agree on the big stuff and compromise on the little stuff.

That is a great idea! If only more people did that! :) Before my husband and I got married, he bought a book for me called "1001 Questions To Ask Before You Get Married." It covered all of those issues, plus more that people generally don't tend to think of, such as "if you find out you can't have children naturally, what would be your next step?" It's a great resource, and I would recommend it to anyone thinking about tying the knot! :)

Exactly. These are the most cardinal of things to discuss. It's like when you get a job offer. You don't just get to work, but you have to sit down with your prospective employer and agree on terms that will suit and satisfy both parties.

Yes indeed getting married is a big decision to make. Aside from what you have written which i agree as well. the most important thing that i really need to talk to my husband is "is he really sure of spending his life with me, no matter what happened?" i think its really important because for me marriage is holy and its not something one should take for granted. if i am in a lifelong commitment, i wantfor us to be happy and never had the regret of why we got married.

Yes do that. You should talk about those stuffs first. You know, the serious stuffs and not just the fun stuffs that you enjoy as a couple. Though that is important too. Before planning a wedding, you should take into consideration all aspects if possible such as who will handle money, will you both work, when will you have kids, what to do when you have varying opinions, where to live, etc.

These are all important topics to discuss - keeping in mind that anyone you are meeting will want to share their best possible side and hence may not always be forthcoming in their answers. I would also want to know about the person's religious beliefs, values, customs, ideas, hopes, dreams, visions, and life philosophy.