what are your 3 rules in a relationship?

@matlgal (1686)
United States
January 12, 2007 12:39am CST
Everyone has limits and in any new relationship you tend to bend or try to be flexible and INFORM, and learn from those things which are new. However - there are things in every relationship that are NON-negotiable, wrong, unforgiveable. What are yours? I will repsond on what mine are once I see a few of the responses. I hope you give this some thought. I hope when you "Write these outloud" that they are your "LINE In the Sand" and you never move that line!. What are your thoughts. Thanks in advance for your participation.
13 people like this
92 responses
• India
12 Jan 07
first rule is commitment second one is Trust third one is caring..
3 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
All great qualities..... how do you make sure those happen?
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jan 07
No Beating No Cheating And No touching my last diet coke in the fridge. Otherwise I am pretty easy to live with : )
2 people like this
• Israel
12 Jan 07
Don't cheat cooperation LoVe
2 people like this
• United States
12 Jan 07
Commitment Communication & Cooperation That simple. ‹(°¿°)›
3 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
not quite what I was looking for, but great things to aspire to in any relationship. I was more looking for the "DON'T's". But I appreciate your input. Thanks
• United States
12 Jan 07
Oh, O.K. Don't cheat on me. Don't take me for granted. & Do share all your dreams and passions with me.
3 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
There you go! that's what I was looking for, My # 1 rule is DON'T cheat on me #2: NEVER EVER lie to me about anything not even a little white lie. #3 I haven't seen here yet... I will save that one for a few more responses. Thank you very much that was a great response.
2 people like this
• India
12 Jan 07
I believe they are- Consistency, give each other space and Trust. If every other day you act all distant (maybe coz you're having a hardtime or something), its never gonna work out. Same if you don't give each other enough space. ANd trust, yeah, THE factor. If you don't trust each other, you DON'T have a relationship.
3 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Interesting- Consistency is a good attribute as well.... sometimes can breed boredom? yes or no? I think that consistent behavior can build trust. TRUST is so important in any relationship. Trust is an issue that is used in every facet of your life.
2 people like this
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
my three rules in relationships are always trust each other, help each other out, and never lie. i feel that trust is very important because if you don't trust each other there will always be doubt in your relationship.
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
great ! thanks. Those are great attributes in any relationship. I hope that those work for you forever!
2 people like this
@sashasmom (136)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Great discussion. I haven't thought about these things in 23 years. Thanks for making me think. I want honesty, compasion, sharing, laughter. I know this is not what you were looking for but I did want to thank you for making me think.
3 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
It does us good to remind our heart what we require, and what we desire. NEVER settle We owe it to ourselves to be happy, loved, cherished and desired. Glad you enjoyed.... comtimue to think anout what really makes you happy.
2 people like this
• India
12 Jan 07
1) LOVE 2) LIVE 3) LET LIVE Aren't they simple rules of living a life :)
2 people like this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
those are simple rules I agree, but aren't those after other rules have been set forth- isn't that a result rather than a rule? Just a thought
2 people like this
@neon2000 (2756)
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
Give and take, trust, and enjoy when you are together. When you love each other, don't try to see anyone's fault. Find out why it happened, don't blame each other. Trust each other and you'll soon find out that you are enjoying each other together.
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
14 Jan 07
what a great concept- Thank you, Obviously your a forgiving person. GOOD for you !
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
i say, it's: RESPECT: not only to the man but also to the woman. HONESTY: because each of the couple have to have honest and intimate communication. LOVE: this is the most basic and most important. of couse no relationship can work without this. with love, there will be the other factors like forgiveness, understanding, giving, and the 2--respect and honesty.
@ronaldinu (12422)
• Malta
13 Jan 07
My rule in a relationship is to treat others the way they treat me. I expect others to give me priority because when I love someone thats what I do. I give priority to that person.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I agree, but define Priority? does that mean smother? Do you like "alone" time..? Does he/she? Good Luck
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
1. never ever cheat on me, moreso, never ever let me catch u cheating on me. hehehehe 2. never ever lie. i'd rather hear the truth even if it would hurt me. & if there's something u wanna tell me, i would rather hear anything coming straight from you than hearing it from others. 3. never ever hurt me physically nor verbally abuse me. if you lay just one finger on me, we're done! i won't tolerate verbal abuse, much more physical. =)
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
THAT'S IT" YOU'VE GOT IT! Those are my 3, those are the ones that are unforgiveable and out the door material. Good for you? how is that working for ya? Hopefully you spot it long before you commit to someone, but then again they say you don't really know someone until you've been with them at least 3 months, or excuse the expression "they fart in front of you" LOL..... Thanks for sharing I think your going to do well.
• United States
13 Jan 07
Well except I would say on one NEVER cheat not the don't let me catch you stuff better to know then not believe me and I don't mind white lies but no big lies most of all that are about cheating lol . I agree on number 3 alot but I also require this of my friends I don't need friends that cut me down or say stuff about me thats not true thats not a friend thats a enemy.
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
well it worked for me. =) i laid the rules before we made our committment so it's really clear to him what my rules are. im married to him 4 years now. =)
@thekiwi (588)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Three rules i have is: -no cheating, -no lying, -treat each other with respect. i think those three are fair. If anyone has a problem with it then they have no business in a relationship
1 person likes this
• United States
13 Jan 07
Hey those are mine too. What can I say - great minds think alike!
• Ukraine
12 Jan 07
love,care and honesty
@khalablue (309)
• Canada
12 Jan 07
This is clearly a popular topic, but I have such a good relationship with my husband of 24 years that I don't spend a lot of time thinking about these issues any more. We have always respected each other, even during arguments. We have never called each other names as so many couples do in the midst of an argument or if one does something the other one dislikes or disagrees with. Remember once the words are spoken they can't be unspoken; once the deed is done it can't be undone. Also, if you have no respect for your partner what does that say about you? You chose him/her. We never discuss past relationships. Full disclosure is not always best, and it isn't dishonest. What you did in past relationships is no ones business but your own. It is part of your history, and by introducing it into your current relationship you are adding a dimension that serves no useful purpose and could have the potential to do a lot of damage. Take separate vacations. Every couple needs time away from each other, but don't think of your vacation as an opportunity to cheat or behave in a way that would damage your relationship if your partner found out about it. No cheating, or lying, ever.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Best Response by far, Thank you so much for your clear and concise depiction of what works for you. All great attributes. What a concept just love each other and be nice. It's so rare anymore for couples to hold each other in such high regard,I think it's wonderful. So many times you see couple compete for everything. Better to be a team than the one on the bench that doesn't fit in. I am sure you will be together for a very long time and be very happy. Thanks again for your participation. jacki
• Canada
13 Jan 07
oooh...good question. I only have one rule - Respect. Everything else flows from that.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
14 Jan 07
I agree with that. If you have their respect the love, trust, faith, and honesty is already there. Good one.
@pendragon (3350)
• United States
12 Jan 07
1)Faithfulness 2)Honesty 3)Desire. If the chemistry is there in a relationship, then I think my three rules are just second nature.They may need fine tuning, but yeah, those are my non-negotiables. Good question!
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
hmmmm. 2 are from your head and one from the heart.... I guess that works. Good thoughts, thanks for your reply. I think there will always be fine tuning in any relationship.
@mansha (6298)
• India
12 Jan 07
Mine are Never ever hit me -no physical abuse. Never cheat on me -the day he does that I am walking out of the door and taking everything with me too. treat me with respect- I dont care if you dont love me after few years but be honest never degradee me. even if we part it should not involve name callings and making things ugly.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
great point on not bad-mouthing each other. I agree. Whats the point? what is done is done. leave the past in the past and give yourself a Great present. :) Thank you for your thoughts. Well said,
• Nigeria
12 Jan 07
Naturally mine would be more for a woman than a man, but I believe they would be interchangeable, as EVERYONE in a relationship would abide by them. 1)Have a job, to have a sense of independence and to be able to support yourself. 2) A car for transportation. It doesn't have to be some new car or anything, but it should be reliable. 3) Honesty is a must! Secrets do more harm than good, so honesty is a must regardless of gender!
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Interesting approach there. Independence is very important. I believe that two "half-People" DO NOT make a whole person. Each in the relationship as to be of their own identity. honesty- well that is just a "GOT TO HAVE" without it you will never make it. Thanks for your thoughts, Good Points.
• India
12 Jan 07
firstly i xpect d other person to b honest..thn i wnt the other persn to give me time..nd lastly i want him/her to b very very caring,coz one cant do well with people who dnt really feel much for them
1 person likes this
@msqtech (15074)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I think we are to lax in our commitments and this causes us to not have good relationships and divorce to be rampant
• Philippines
12 Jan 07
being in a relationship is a challeged for the couple since both needs to adjust and as well try to accept each others attitude or personality whether be it good or bad. i am in a relationship right now and there are two things which i consider wrong or unforgiveable. first is lying and the second is cheating. I can tolerate white lies but as to cheating, its a really big NO,NO for me. thank god even if we are now in our second year, hes still loyal to me. :)
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
Don't bend those rules. NO matter what! there is absolutely no room for lying or cheating. If you met him and he cheated with you on someone else? RUN, he will do it do you. Well that's my opinion. You may be the one he's looked for all his life and for your sake I hope so.
@dopey22girl (3319)
• United States
12 Jan 07
For one thing, honesty is very important. The guy cannot cheat on me, and when I ask a question, I want an honest answer. Secondly, you have to be able to have fun with the person. If you can't have fun together, what's the point of even being together? This also means compromising and trying new things. He should be willing to try new things you like, and vice versa. And third, is definitely respect. I should've put this as number one. Do not put up with any behavior that shows that your significant other is not respecting you. Physical/Emotional abuse are the worst things in a relationship, and should not be tolerated whatsoever.
1 person likes this
@matlgal (1686)
• United States
12 Jan 07
WOW you've got it girl!!! good for you. Keep that mind set and you will be in great shape. Great thoughts. Thanks for participating. I can't believe the number of really well thought out answers here. It seems that all of us want REPECT and honesty. That I agree is so important. THe having FUN well that is being able to say your each others' best friend. I know very few couples that like to be with each other 24/7 but my Sister and her husband are that way and have been married 22 years, have 3 great kids and are still each others best friend! it's such a strong bond between them.