Can homosexuality be helped?
By manong05
@manong05 (5027)
Philippines
January 12, 2007 9:52am CST
My brother's son started acting like a woman in the way he talks and moves when he was in high school. They were disappointed and had a heart to heart talk with him that they don't want him to be a homosexual. He is in the university now and things are getting worse. Is there something that they can do to stop this or just leave him to be whatever he wants to be. Can this be helped? Any practical suggestion?
3 people like this
47 responses
@Eboue54 (58)
• United States
12 Jan 07
The majority of people who are gay, do not choose to be that way. In 1973, the American Psychiatric Association removed homosexuality from the DMS (Diagnistic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders).
May I suggest that you and your family love your nephew for who he is, not foe who you want him to be. Here is a book that may help you and your family accept this: Always My Child: A Parent's Guide To Understanding Your Gay, Lesbian, Transgendered Or Questioning Son Or Daughter. You can find it at Amazon.com
4 people like this
@prettypinkbug (437)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I don't think it is a matter of what he "wants" to be. This is who he is. He was born this way. They should just accept it. He will not change, and there is no way to change him. People don't want to be gay. They are who they are. Saying that a gay man can turn straight is just like me saying I'm going to try to make you gay when you are straight. People freak out when someone says gives that hypothetical because people think homosexuality is a sickness or something that can be reversed. There is no "cure" for it, and people shouldn't want to "cure" it because that would be trying to change a person. This is just part of who he is.
3 people like this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
13 Jan 07
I totally agree with you. Just let him be. Just be happy that he's happy. Isn't that what really matters?
@nuffsed (1271)
•
13 Jan 07
In the example given, the subject is "acting like a woman"... That does not indicate being gay. What it does indicate is that he is transgendered, possibly Transexual. i.e. a woman trapped in a mans body.
This is a complex area, poorly understood.
Heartening however to see such a lack of persecution on the site.
Brilliant!!
@princess07031980 (5412)
• United States
12 Jan 07
A person's sexuality cannot be changed. Your brother should not even attempt it! Of course, no parent will jump for joy at the fact their child is a homosexual, only because it seems to be abnormal or not acceptable. But anymore it is just the way things are. They should accept the fact that the young man is gay, and not try to convince him he is wrong. Could you just turn into a homosexual if you were straight?
2 people like this
@nuffsed (1271)
•
13 Jan 07
Because the original poster has used the term "gay", you have also made the same mistake. This person is not indicating that he is gay. See my earlier comment.
Your explanation of the gay condition, is so wrong, I can only sugest you read some accademic studies on the subject.
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
13 Jan 07
You can't change him. He is what he is. I don't think anyone would choose to be homosexual with how difficult it is in this day and age. Your brother and the rest of the family needs to come to terms with this, to accept him for who he is. Now some therapy might help with them accepting the situation, for the family to come to terms with it all. However you shouldn't try to force him to change. That could just make things worse.
2 people like this
@classy56 (2880)
• United States
12 Jan 07
they need to just leave him alone,he old enough to know what he wants to be.i had a step brother who dressed up as women.an he disappointed his parents were ashame of him an didnt want to be seen with him. but after so long they just got tired of fussing at him an started accepting him,so thats what they need to do,except him for who he is.
@emisle (3822)
• Ireland
13 Jan 07
I agree, he can't help who he is, and if he tries to be someone else it will make him miserable. I know his parents are finding it tough, but I'm sure their son needs their support right now because he will no doubt face a lot of attitude from others as time goes on.
1 person likes this
@tictac714 (975)
• United States
12 Jan 07
I really don't think that he can "help it", and all your brother is going to do is push his son away, make him feel like he's not accepted. Or worse, maybe his son will try to deny his homosexuality and try to be like a heterosexual and he will just never be happy. I don't think it's a good idea to try to get people to be what the're not
1 person likes this
@beadedserpent (46)
• United States
13 Jan 07
tictac714 I agree. I have a girlfriend you is fighting with herself over this issue. She comes from a screwed up family and is devoted to her church. She has never been happy with a man but has with a woman. My husband and I accept her for who she is as a person and see no problem with her you love who you love. But she believes it is wrong in her heart of hearts. I don't like seeing her unhappy but it's ultimately her choice.
1 person likes this
@Marie2473 (8512)
• Sweden
13 Jan 07
You can not choose your sexuality, if you could i do not think that anyone would choose to be gay because of all the judgement people have today.
I think they need to accept him and love him for who he is since he will probably need the support from the family he loves and trusts.
1 person likes this
@lauriefnp (5111)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Your brother and the rest of the family must back off and allow this young man to be himself. He is who he is; it is not a matter of choice. He has no more control over his sexuality than your brother does over his. It's important that your brother learns to accept his son for who he is and to love him unconditionally. Showing and communicating "disappointment" in him will only further damage his self-esteem. It's not a matter of his "getting worse"- his is just becoming more comfortable being himself.
@ravinamita (132)
• India
13 Jan 07
I suggest you consult a sexologist, if not already done. To think that no remedial measures can be taken is absolutely wrong. Besides, as suggested by some friends, his friend circle should be kept under observation for some time. It is quite likely that he has fallen in a bad company. He should be seen as a patient and not as an adamant and arrogant person. Proper persuasions and proper therapy can still help mend his ways. Like many other evils floating on the internet, he might be a victim of the obscene sites. After all, till a few years ago, such problems did not surface because there was very limited person to person contact. So the evil thoughts remained confined to a limited area, but now they spread faster like anything. The medical science unfolds miracles every day. You should first explore this feasibility.
@gpraveenkumar5 (981)
• India
13 Jan 07
This situation seems new to me...
How can a guy act like a woman...
Anyway cosult a sexoligt first immediately...
1 person likes this
@AdamRobert (59)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
Despite all wishful thinking to the contrary, homosexuality cannot be helped. Increasingly, scientific research is supporting this. Your family needs to learn to love and accept him unconditionally and leave him to discover who he is free of the worry of persecution by his loved ones or risk losing him as a part of their life.
1 person likes this
@GnosticGoddess (5626)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Just curious. Not trying to start a fight but are you implying that homosexuality makes one not perfect?
@strawberrymudd (330)
• United States
13 Jan 07
Homosexuality is not a disease or disorder, it doesn't need to be "helped." People need to be more accepting. PEOPLE need to be "helped." That's my opinion on it.
1 person likes this
@shogunly (1397)
• Libya
13 Jan 07
Ask him: do you go out to fields and eat grass when you are hungry?
no,because god made you a human and taught you what to eat .
do you walk on all fours?
no,you walk on two legs,thats how god made us . a person who walks on all fours is obviously wrong,even though he"feels like it" that doesn't matter at all,actually .
some criminals are only sexually aroused by CHILDREN,and indeed, children may be beautiful,but is it alright to look upon them as objects of desire?
NO
but these people say "god made us like that"again, no . god made them like he made everyone else,only they don't want to control their animal impulses (which are normal,by the way,the obscenity is in NOT controlling your DESIRES to the point where you disregard norms set by society.
@seawave18 (7)
• Philippines
13 Jan 07
for me being a homosexual is not a hindrance to do the things that are needed to be done.there are still a lot to do for him to make his family to be proud of him.so let him do it. as long as he didn't step the right of others, and as long as he is happy of what he becomes then, i think you should just let him explore his self. you will not help him become a better person if you as his family will not support him. the family is the primary source of inspiration, so the family should be the first to support each other in all the dreams one has.
@doncris (637)
• Romania
13 Jan 07
It can't be cured. Homosexuality is kind of a disease, somewhat like cancer, because you can't tell for sure what causes it and why some people are born that way. He shouldn't be blamed for what he feels, because it's not his fault.
@JellyBeans (639)
• Canada
13 Jan 07
I think that they should leave him alone. He has the right to make his own decisions in life. He can be who he wants. I don't know why your brother is being disappointed. I mean if he wants to be it then let him be.
I don't think it can be helped, unless he really wants to stop with it. And im not sure if there is actualy anything you can do about it...
1 person likes this
@strawberrymudd (330)
• United States
13 Jan 07
HIV is not a GAY disease. It's a sexually transmitted one, yes, but it's also transmitted by blood. Oh, and straight people die from it,too.
1 person likes this
