I like jokes
January 14, 2007 10:56pm CST
Space Monkeys NASA decided to send a shuttle into space with two monkeys and an astronaut. They trained them for months. Then when they thought they were ready, they placed all three in the shuttle and got ready to send them up into space. As the moment came closer NASA's mission control center announced, "This is mission control to Monkey One. Initiate!" At that the first monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle's engines ignited and the shuttle took off. Two hours later NASA's mission control center announced, "This is mission control to Monkey Two. Initiate!" At that the second monkey started typing like mad and suddenly the shuttle separated from the empty fuel tanks. Another two hours later mission control announced, "This is mission control to the astronaut..." At this the astronaut responded "I know, I know. Feed the monkeys and don't touch anything."
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15 Jan 07
Little Mary was not the best student in Sunday School. Usually she slept through the class. One day the teacher called on her while she was napping, ''Tell me, Mary, who created the universe?'' When Mary didn't stir, little Johnny, an altruistic boy seated in the chair behind her, took a pin and jabbed her in the rear. ''God Almighty !'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good'' and Mary fell back to sleep. A while later the teacher asked Mary, ''Who is our Lord and Savior?'' But Mary didn't even stir from her slumber. Once again, Johnny came to the rescue and stuck her again. ''Jesus Christ!'' shouted Mary and the teacher said, ''Very good,'' and Mary fell back to sleep. Then the teacher asked Mary a third question, ''What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?'' And again, Johnny jabbed her with the pin. This time Mary jumped up and shouted, ''If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!'' The Teacher fainted.
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Jan 07
A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 feet 2 inches tall, blonde wavy hair and has a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbor to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 feet 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbor then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!"
15 Jan 07
steelers fans! In a school just outside of Pittsburgh , a first grade teacher explained to her class that she is a Steeler's fan. She asked her students to raise their hands if they were Steeler's fans too. Not really knowing what a Steeler's fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands all went up into the air. However, there was one exception. A little boy named Timmy had not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asked him why he had decided to be different .. "Because I am not a Steeler's fan" says Timmy. The teacher then asked, "What are you?" Timmy said "I'm a Seahawk's fan." The teacher was a little perturbed now, her face slightly red, she asked Timmy why he was a Seahawk's fan. "Well, my mom and dad are Seahawk's fans so I'm a Seahawk's fan too." The teacher was now angry. "That's no reason" she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot?" Timmy smiled and said, "Then I'd be a Steeler's fan."