Would you confront your partner if you think that he/she is cheating on you?

Philippines
January 15, 2007 8:51pm CST
If you heard from the grapevine that your partner is cheating on you, would you confront him/her at once or would you investigate first? How would you approach your partner about this?
2 people like this
22 responses
@k73hrx (81)
• Indonesia
16 Jan 07
i would do some invertegation first. i do not wanna accuse for being jealous for no reason. then i would confront her in soft way. i would talk to her with cool head and listen to her explanation. but a hope i would never to face such situation., since me and my girlfriend always honest to each other
1 person likes this
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
16 Jan 07
I think that I would definitely do a little bit of investigating first, and then I would definitely confront him. I wouldn't want to confront him based on the "grapevine" for 2 reasons. First, since it is just rumor and here-say, it would give him a chance to weasel out of it and negate any doubts that I had (let's face it, it he IS a cheater, he will be able to easily lie his way out of it). I would want to have some solid facts or proof before confronting him. Second, I would not want to give the impression that I had doubts if I investigated and truly felt that there was no basis for concern. Of course I might still "mention" what I had heard, but the approach would definitely be different if I didn't feel that he was cheating.
• Philippines
10 Nov 08
Confrontation will come after investigation. I have to know all the pertinent facts first and weigh things, before ill confront him. I might end up at the losing end if Ill directly confront him without knowing the real issues behind...
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
9 Feb 07
yes,i would as if he is, then we do not need to be together, i do not share
• Philippines
18 Jan 07
i would talk to him and observe his reaction. women, most especially has a good intuition in feeling things..if he reacted the way that i always catch him when he's lying..then, it must be true. of course, i'd need more proof than that so i have to look for evidence and see what he's got.
• United States
18 Jan 07
I would be straight up, and tell him that we had to have a talk. I would tell him that I heard from the grapevine, that he was cheating. I would ask for an honest answer and go from there.
@buddha02 (128)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
i always confront my husband even it was not yet confirmed. i talk to him everytime i feel there's something i smell fishy and it appears to me that its true.u know what u must follow ur woman's instinct. its the stongest weapon of woman.
@ichampin (593)
• India
16 Jan 07
I first confirm myself about the grapevine that is spreading and After getting sure that she is involved with somebody else, then I would definitely talk to her on this matter, because having relationships with no strings attached to it is of no use. I f she is having problem in our relationship and doesn't feel comfortable with me anymore, I won't stand up in her way and let her go.
@shigoto (69)
• Indonesia
16 Jan 07
Definitely,I'd investigate first. Then whether the fact that it is true or false,I'll have a word with my partner first,before doing anything rash. By then I should have had a conclusion about what should I do,and that would do better than confront my partner directly at once..I don't think it is wise and good for a relationship. Once again,it is about honesty and trust..
@thekiwi (588)
• United States
16 Jan 07
of course!! I always confront my dudes if i have a thought of them cheating, its only normal, i mean really...would you want them to do the same to you if they think you were cheating?
• United States
16 Jan 07
Definitely would investigate first...as i have had to do in the past!!.. and then confront?...ABSOLUTELY! I would approach him when he least expected it..face to face too so you can tell if he is lying or not.
• United States
16 Jan 07
I would just investigate first cause life begins alot of haters, and then I would confront the person!
• Canada
16 Jan 07
If he was cheating on me I'd confront him right out on the open and let him know that I knew. People who cheat on their partners don't deserve the dignity of little, no or private confrontation. Get it out in the open and get it overwith!!
@foxsoon (150)
• Australia
16 Jan 07
Be fair, investigate first and get the proofs/evidence around. Even if I tend to talk directly at times which is a kind of investigation, as you can see her expression or so. But if she tells you she is not cheating and gives a fairly good explanation, I think I can easily forgive her, either way if a person is your partner there should be a lot of trust involved. Misplace it once and I'll definitely misplace the person in my life. ^_^ cheers
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
I would definitely confront him, but ofcourse in the nicest way since i got no evidence. I will talk to him and tell him what i feel about the gossips. I will also state that i trust him alot that's why i will not investigate nor do anything to doubt his sincerity and loyalty to our relationships. I will still give him the benefit of the doubt. But if i found out that it is all true no second chances.thats it.
• United States
16 Jan 07
Why would you NOT ask him/her about it? How you confront your partner would depend on how reliable your source was. Either way, you should have some kind of relationship so you would be able to just bring it out in the open and ask. Granted there are some bad relationships out there that are steps away from being ruined by unfaithfulness. Knowing how to read body language in this senerio helps immensly.
@fujin1985 (684)
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
I might ask him first straight to the face if he still wants this relationship to go on. If he answers straight to my face that he does without hesitations, hmm, i might think about either investigating about it secretly or telling him about the gossips reaching me.
• Philippines
16 Jan 07
if i heard from someone that my partner is cheating on me, the first thing i would do is to investigate further. i will also ask some of my closefriends to help me about this problem. i just cant react without having any evidences. if the rumors are true and if ever i personally saw him with someone, i will surely confront him and ask why he did that. theres a reason behind everything, right? thats the time i will decide whether to give our relationship a second chance or broke up with him and go on with my life.
@hh9905 (1275)
• Malaysia
16 Jan 07
I'd definitely confront him. However, i would get all my facts right before confronting him. And if it is true, I'll just see whether it's worth or not the relationship that we have.
• United States
16 Jan 07
I would investigate first because if I spoke with them first they would have time to realize they could be caught and of course like all cheaters and human response in general would be to deny. So yes, I think it would be the smart thing to do to investigate and see what I could find out and then confront them with what I have personally found. If I found it to be rumor I would later let them know that rumors were being spread of this sort because I myself would want to know.