Is the "myLot" you the real you??

@James72 (26829)
Australia
January 16, 2007 8:09am CST
A topic I just responded to regarding whether I would meet a myLot user face to face inspired this question. I am intrigued! myLot allows us to engage freely in discussions, we can be controversial, insightful, direct etc etc But how does the real you differ from who you are on myLot? Are you the same in real life as you are on this forum? Does your anonymity on myLot allow you to be more direct and forceful with your opinions? Does myLot allow you to awaken the literary beast within because in reality you wouldn't dare say boo to a mouse?? I have given thought to the myLot me versus the real me and am happy to say that I am pretty similar in both worlds. But I do think that this forum does allow me to be a little more creative with my opinions than what I may normally be at times in real life. In real life we tend to be more aware of what reactions our actions may cause. In the myLot world we don't have to be so conscious of it. What about you? I am interested to know who is prepared to be openly objective about this and answer honestly. After all, here is the place to do it!
22 people like this
75 responses
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Very interesting question!!! I am definitely the same on here as I am in real life - I am the type who tends to always have something to say and I can be brutally honest at times but also feel empathy for those who have experienced or are experiencing something that I have gone through. I have never had a problem speaking my mind no matter what the situation is. Although I would bet there are quite a bit of users on here who have found this to be an easy place to place their opinions knowing that no one knows who they really are and that may make them feel more safe and comfortable about posting things here that they would never say to anyone in real life.
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
16 Jan 07
Thank you! Maybe myLot has set some of us free! Thanks for responding.
1 person likes this
• Italy
17 Jan 07
no no and no! ihihi in myLot i am a strange person..thats say a lot of strange ideas! but in the really i am a business man, i don't think all about job job and job
• Germany
17 Jan 07
I definitely feel almost everyone would be the same in both the worlds. To make ur problem a question and getting answer from different persons for a right solution. When anyone responds for it it from his mind how he thinks of a problemand how he respons and they wouls be no one to force him to write in other way.
• Australia
17 Jan 07
Congratulations! This is a great discussion. It is very obvious that some people on myLot are not being honest. I am sure that you, as many of us, have responded to heart-wrenching cries for help or advice: "I am going to kill myself, help me!" Well, not quite as blunt, but almost. You respond, with concern and advice, and check back later. Days go by, and the person who posted the discussion is SO interested that he/she hasn't returned to check the advice asked for. SOME people on myLot are here to think up dilemmas that will get a few responses and a few cents. Well, maybe they are being honest to self? I think that with me, what you get on myLot is what you get face to face - except that face to face you'll get a lot more passion. I don't think my enthusiasm and passion for what I believe in comes across as much here as it does in person, but maybe I am wrong, because people have commented on it here. I have been dubious about internet friendships which friends have spoken of in the past, but I must admit that I have found some friends here that I would very much like to meet in real life. I am sure they would be exactly the same as they come across here. Great discussion topic!
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
17 Jan 07
Thank you! Yes, I have lost count of how many times I have responded to a topic and never heard anything again.... I am trying so hard to respond to as many responses as I can but it is getting harder and harder. I hope everyone is happy with me just giving them a positive rating instead (where they deserve it!) Thanks for responding.
@tambdy (1969)
16 Jan 07
I tried to post to this discussion before about 8 times and mylot went down so lets hope it works this time. Anyway i would say that i am the same on mylot as i am in real life, i care about my friends i was having some family problems and i am very upfront and if i have a problem i will give you it straight. Although you are right when you are saying we are more aware of our actions in real life, as we know if we do something in real life there is real consiquences in mylot if we do something nothing much will happen. i have noticed alot of people on mylot are not real and they make posts to get more responses. Hope this is what you a looking for.:)
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
30 Jun 08
Sorry that it took a YEAR to choose yours as the "Best Response"; but anyone that tried 8 TIMES to participate in my discussion can't be ignored!
@shywolf (4520)
• United States
16 Jan 07
Oh yes, I am _much_ more open here. I mean, in general I am more open and bold online, anyway, because in real life I am extremely shy*laugh* You'd be suprised. I can barely speak in person, but on here I could ramble on for hours. Other than that, though, I would like to think that I have been truthful on Mylot. You know that there are users who make up stories just to get a lot of replies, I've heard of that, but I hope that I would never stoop to that level. Anyway, in time I hope to become more like my 'online' self in the real world, as I am really going to work on becoming less shy this year. It is time!^_^
2 people like this
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
17 Jan 07
This is the type of answer I was expecting to see more of! This forum allows you to be free because of the anonymity. If it boosts confidence as a result then all is good!
16 Jan 07
That's a really interesting question, good topic!!! I think I'm pretty similar on myLot to what I am usually, the only real difference being that I try not to bother commenting on things on here that I'm not that interested in, whereas in real life I tend to talk to much about everything, even if it doesn't interest me all that much. Maybe I should take a few pointers from how I am on here and shut up once in a while so that I don't go digging myself into holes quite so often when I don't really know what I'm talking about!
2 people like this
• United States
17 Jan 07
Yup, that is my problem too. I also feel that I should just stick with my "no comment" response in real life, just as I do (when I avoid discussions) on myLot. Becuase I end up putting myself in situations that it would be best to avoid.
• United States
16 Jan 07
I feel the mylot me & the real me are similar. It does in fact open up a door in all of us though. We all have differences in opinions but the great part of it is knowing there is someone to answer the questions that have always been on our minds. I think of myself as a blunt & outspoken person but there are times I would rather hear a total stranger's opinion than someone close to me. Is that wrong?
2 people like this
16 Jan 07
I don't think that's wrong, sometimes it can really help to have an objective opinion knowing that the person is not trying to keep you happy.
1 person likes this
@kishchun (497)
• Oman
16 Jan 07
you do have a point, James, but i am almost the same person that you see on mylot - almost because i might not be so outspoken all the time in person unless you are a close friend of mine, or a good colleague. but the views, opinions and emotions whatever i express here on mylot is exactly what i feel and opine, the same way as i respond spontaneously in real life, unless i am obliged to keep mum. so, there is no two different people in me, i mean, i don't really pose, though there might be people who would pretend ... but then, there are so many people pretending who they aren't - you can see plenty of them around you if you open your eyes - that's the variety you find in this world, right?
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
17 Jan 07
Variety is the spice of life! Fact is, you could be anybody you want to be on this forum and who would know?? Thanks for responding.
@nehakalley4 (1919)
• United States
16 Jan 07
You have put really a very good question. When I read your discussion, I started giving a second thought on what I am in the real world and what I am in mylot. And I think that I am also pretty same in both the cases. First of all the similarity is my name, my real name is also neha kalley as I have put on mylot Secondly I always start the discussions which are true, related to what is happening in my life or whatever I am thinking And Thirdly I respond to only those which i am aware of and not responding to unlimited discussions without making a sense inorder to make money So I think that I am pretty close to my real world on mylot. Thanks for asking this question
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
17 Jan 07
Great! I am glad that people are actually giving this question some serious thought. Thanks for responding.
@lauriefnp (5112)
• United States
16 Jan 07
You've created a GREAT discussion! Congratulations! I think that the responses will be interesting, although how can anyone be sure that the respondents are actually being truthful... This is one of the many problems and dangers of online chatting and online dating. What you see in type is not necessarily what you get! I think that there are a few users here that we all know are misrepresenting themselves to get attention, reactions, responses, and money. This is obvious by the disparity between their various discussions and posts. For the most part, though, I would hope that most of us are being real. As for myself... I would say that the way I am here is the way I am in real life, like it or not. I am independent, strong-willed, and not afraid to speak my mind (especially about something I feel passionate about). But I am also objective and fair; I am open-minded, enjoy a good debate and exchange of ideas, and accept people for who they are, realizing that we all have a right to be ourselves and have our own opinions. I am a caring, loving, and helpful person, and do not believe in discriminating against or labeling/categorizing groups of people. I am honest to a fault- people always know what's on my mind, so I don't think that I respond any differently here than I do in person. Like it or Leave it...
@James72 (26829)
• Australia
16 Jan 07
Thank you again! I am hoping that this is the place to be honest! No place better! Thanks for responding.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Jan 07
This is a very good discussion. I have to say that the me that you get on mylot would be the same one you would get face to face with me. I tend to tell it how it is and you don't have to agree with me I don't care either way. There is one difference though, I do not look like my avatar at all. I think this is the only difference.
2 people like this
@chuggs (314)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I would say that sometimes I am the same, and that sometimes I'm not, it depends on my mood. I will say though that I communicate much better through writing than talking, so I tend to be a bit braver here than in real life, I also have little trouble expressing my feelings here, where in real life I tend to worry about others' feelings.
2 people like this
• United States
17 Jan 07
My questions and responses on MyLot are the same as they would be if someone talked to me in person. I don't see the need to take on a different personality online. I know that some people do, but I can honestly say that my views are very consistent.
• United States
17 Jan 07
I agree with you. In general, I tend to be the same in real life as I am on myLot. I believe that if you cannot be honest with yourself, then you need to work on establishing your personality and "self." This is an interesting topic, and I like the fact that you asked it. Because, it is interesting to read discussions here on myLot and not wonder if they are made up. At first, I believed that people were honest, in their responses and their discussions, but then there were some topics, that people claimed to have happened and to pertain to themselves, but that just seemed so odd and unbelievable. Sometimes, I find myself being more honest than I usually am, here on myLot, because it is anonymous. But in general, I'm just me.
@darckj (885)
• Philippines
17 Jan 07
i don't know.. maybe other people who knew me in person could answer your discussion.. sometimes i feel so different with my personality in here. but most of the times i feel it is really me that the darckj in here exists. all i want is to pour myself out here. feeling free to ask and share ideas. in real life, im a little bit different. i cannot freely express what is in my thoughts for the fear of offending other people. i cannot pour my self freely in real life cause i feel no one is interested to ask my opinions.. in here, everybody needs somebody's opinion thats why i take the opportunity to pour my self out..
2 people like this
@divir_vij (1591)
• India
17 Jan 07
To a small extent YES, its teh real me. and to a large Extent NO, Its not the "REAL" me. Mylot had changed my lifestyle, it had encouraged my to think get new ideas and ever start writing. which i never did and tried to ignore. But thanks to mylot my social life had changed a lot.
2 people like this
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
17 Jan 07
I try to give my opinions as I would in real life. One thing that is different about this type of communication is that you can always go back and change your answers. When speaking, you have to think quicker and you don't have time to fix an error(the words that fly out of your mouth). However, most of the time, in regular life, I hardly run up against the various issues I come across here in this forum. With some of the issues, it might be harder to respond the same way because of the subject matter. Many times, I need to think before replying because of the nature of the question. In the end, I have nothing to hide and would treat people the same on this site as I would in life. One other thing to consider, is that there are a lot of different countries and cultures mixed into this site. So, what might be ok for some, might be outrageous for others. I have no intention of disrespecting anyone from anywhere.
2 people like this
• United States
16 Jan 07
Yes this is the real me. I'm not someone who can be rude to someone online just because I can't see them. I'm all to aware that the person on the other side still has feelings. I've been on the receiving end before and I have to say I don't like it. If I say something negative, I would still say it to your face if I saw you on the street.
2 people like this
@rachelcaron (1681)
• United States
16 Jan 07
the "my lot" me and "real" me are pretty much the same. I guess I feel I can be more open here since I don't know anyone. What I say, I really believe. I don't make up stuff to put on here. I'm not trying to make money, though it is nice. It is nice having a place to interact with others and say what's on my mind.
@wojtlis (51)
• United States
16 Jan 07
This is an interesting topic and one I personally ponder on every msg board I ever frequent. For me its easier to just be ME. I am quite bold in real life when I feel passionate about things. Although I have compassion and empathy for people I also think honesty is the best way to go. Meaning honest with myself and those around me. I dont sugar coat, I dont play games. Some people can not handle the brutal honesty I put out there online or face to face but it is what it is. If you are going to ask ME a question you are going to get an honest answer from my point of view. My friends know not to come to me if they are looking to 'hear what they want to.
• United States
16 Jan 07
I would have to say the mylot me is the real me. I wont put out personal information about me but when i answer discussions i do answer truthfully. Some people come out here with genuine concerns or problems and want real answers. I wont BS someone who doesnt want to be BS'd to. Im sure alot of people are faking it out here just to beat the system. Its always better to be honest because once you get caught you always wind up on the bottom of the pile. Best of luck to you