19 Feb 07
go git cha momma A REDNECK FAMILY FROM THE HILLS OF WEST VIRGINIA WAS VISITING THE CITY. THEY WERE IN A MALL FOR THE FIRST TIME IN THEIR LIVES. THE FATHER AND SON WERE STROLLING AROUND WHILE THE WIFE SHOPPED. THEY WERE AMAZED BY ALMOST EVERYTHING THEY SAW, BUT ESPECIALLY BY TWO SHINY, SILVER WALLS THAT COULD MOVE APART AND THEN SLIDE BACK TOGETHER AGAIN. THE BOY ASKED, "PAW, WHAT'S AT?" THE FATHER (NEVER HAVING SEEN AN ELEVATOR) RESPONDED, "SON I DUNNO, I AIN'T NEVER SEEN ANYTHING LIKE THAT IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, I AIN'T GOT NO IDEA WHAT IT IS." WHILE THE BOY AND HIS FATHER WERE WATCHING WITH AMAZEMENT, A FAT OLD LADY IN A WHEEL CHAIR ROLLED UP TO THE MOVING WALLS AND PRESSED A BUTTON. THE WALLS OPENED AND THE LADY ROLLED BETWEEN THEM INTO A SMALL ROOM. THE WALLS CLOSED AND THE BOY AND HIS FATHER WATCHED THE SMALL CIRCULAR NUMBER ABOVE THE WALLS LIGHT UP SEQUENTIALLY. THEY CONTINUED TO WATCH UNTIL IT REACHED THE LAST NUMBER. WHEN THE NUMBERS BEGAN TO LIGHT IN THE REVERSE ORDER, THE WALLS OPENED UP AGAIN AND A GORGEOUS VOLUPTUOUS 24 YEAR-OLD BLONDE WOMAN STEPPED OUT. THE FATHER, NOT TAKING HIS EYES OFF THE YOUNG WOMAN, SAID QUIETLY TO HIS SON, "BOY.........GO GIT CHA MOMMA"..............
20 Jan 07
Out far away in the himalayas there was a small village that was constantly terrified by this terrible monster named the medecrin. The medicrin would come down to the village once a week and eat one of the villagers. Now, as you would guess, the population of the village decreased greatly after a few months of this, so, the chief of the village called forth the greatest hunter he could get and told him to hunt down and kill the medicrin. So, after much talk, the hunter finally agreed to kill the medicrine. But the hunter, being smart, decided he would have to trap the monster to kill it, figuring he would get eaten if he faced it head on. So he looked in his himalayan monster field book and found out that medicrins like sugar, so he ordered all the villagers to dig a deep hole and fill it with all the sugar in the village. Later that week, the medicrine came down to the village. When it went after it`s usual meal, it saw the pit of sugar, looked at it a moment, and then went after another villager. After the medicrin left, the chief called up the great hunter, and scolded the hunter for failing, but the hunter convinced the chief to give him another chance, and the chief agreed. The next day, the hunter looked back to his himalayan monster field book and found that medicrins like loons even more than sugar. So the great hunter went out, caught a loon, and placed it in the pit with the sugar. Now, it turns out that loons like sugar even more than medicrins, so the loon ate up all the sugar. So, a few days later the medicrine returned on time for it`s villager feast. But, as it was heading for the village, the medicrin saw the pit with the loon. The medicrin imediatly became hungry for loon, so it climbed down into the pit and at the loon. But, as soon as it finished the loon off, it fell over, deader than a doornail. The moral of the story? A loon full of sugar helps the medecrin go down.