Let them cry it out???

If I remember correctly it wasn't so much brain damage, as it had lasting effects on the child. It caused the Cortisol levels in brain to increase, and when that happens repeatedly and the brain is constantly being exposed to these levels it can cause nerve connections to degenerate. Also it causes the increased blood pressure in the brain which increases stress hormones, and stops the blood from draining from the brain. Which of course prevents oxygen from getting to the brain. They studied babies that were left to cry it out and at 5 years of age they had an average of 9 points lower IQ. It's also been shown that infants that sleep away from their parents, and aren't attended to have lower amounts of REM sleep which is the stage of sleep that has the most brain development. I'll see if I can find this information online to reference it. But I would never leave my son to CIO. All he wants is to be held, and loved. Usually all it takes is 5-15min. I know I can spare that little bit of time to cuddle him and put him back to bed.

If the kids wants to cry THERE is absolutely nothing you can do about it except something very drastic which cannot be contemplated. so a kid will cry when its gotta cry.

I didn't see that episode, but I think that there is a difference between helping a baby learn to comfort themselves and just leaving them alone to cry hysterically for an indefinite amount of time. It was very hard for me as a parent to let my son cry it out when he was that small, but I did it, just checking on him periodically but not picking him up. He ultimately did learn to comfort himself, and he wouldn't have learned it so well if I had picked him up every time he cried. I would look at every situation differently, though, and if he truly wasn't calming down I would go in and talk to him, rub his back, comfort him without picking him up, and then leave him again. If I felt it was necessary I would finally go in and get him. It seems to me, although I didn't see the episode you're talking about (I very seldom watch Dr. Phil) that they might have been talking about extreme cases of letting a child keep crying and getting more and more hysterical and not comforting them at all. I can see where that could hurt a child. The best parenting advice I ever saw was for people to follow their own instincts because we usually know in our hearts what is best for our child. Talk to your own pediatrician if you trust him/her, and follow your heart on this, but you won't be doing your baby any favors if you never allow the child to learn to comfort himself/herself (Bella is the baby?). Good luck to you!

this is repeated topic so please check before posting.this one is the previous thread http://www.mylot.com/w/discussions/636661.aspx

well it depends on why they are crying, i mean if you have fed them and they have a clean diaper and they do not want to go to sleep then i think it is okay to let them cry for like 10 to 15 minutes.

until a child is old enough to communicate their needs by pointing or speech..their ONLY method of gettting your attention is to cry.. i would definitely not allow an infant to just cry.. if it seems theyre not hungry or wet, sometimes they just want to be held.. and sometimes they will still cry but i think that babies just like adults can be sad, frightened, and such and letting them cry alone in a crib or something to me seems cruel.. i would just hold them.. even if they kept crying.. maybe they have gas or a bellly ache or a headache... its not till they're older that they should be left to cry and whine.. not as infants.. as far as if causing brain damage im not sure if i totally believe that to the extent it seems your speaking of.. however i think that it IS a TYPE of neglect and may harm your child in ways possibly along the lines of mental abuse, and who knows how that type of feeling of not being attended to at sucha youngage could affect a child later in life.. not maybe so much to the extent that you would see in a typical neglected child environment. im not talking about a baby crying for a few minutes until you reach him/her, or children with problems such as cholic..theres a difference between a baby crying for a few minutes and a baby crying nonstop while a parent says something like "its ok, babies cry".. it is your job as a parent to LOVE and care for your child.. not jsut make sure they fed, warm, and clean.

I saw that episode but my son came home when they started taking about the baby crying it out. Why would that damage the brain? That seems pretty ridiculous. When my son was young we were told by more than one pediatrician that we should let him cry it out so that he would be able to fall asleep on his own. Maybe they thought the couple was doing it too often or for too long?

It is a bit of a worry with many things these dys, there are so many people giving out expert advice, they all seem to know what they are talking about, who do you listen to...its a problem..

I think you need to ensure they arent needing something but you need to let them cry after a certain age

Did the expert say how it damaged the brain? I think half of the experts don't know what they are talking about. To my knowledge, my parents let me cry it out and I don't think I have any brain damage. I let all my kids cry too when they were little, nothing excessive, if they were still crying after five or ten minutes, I would go check on them, and lo and behold they all seem to be fine today.