Break up
By kalpan_vasa
@kalpan_vasa (324)
India
January 22, 2007 9:28am CST
One of my friend is in bad situation right now. I am trying my level best to make her understand few things. I would need all of you to give some genuine suggestions to help her out.
Let me tell you the case.
She is about 25 of age right now. Some one and half year back she was proposed by a guy who was studying with her in college. At that time she has not refused or not even accepted it. She said, its too early to decide on this. She asked the guy to be a just friend and start understanding each other and if everything works out well, she will put the things in front of her family and then get married.
After this they have completed their college and guy went to London for further studies.( This is the case from India, so let me tell you one thing here is, girl is very much attached with the family and all) Now just few moths back when guy came here in India, both have decided to talk with girl's family member about this. Girl has put everything in front of her family. All family member meet the guy and his family and finally accepted the their love. They said as the guy is still studying its not the time for them to get married. Guy went back to London and everything was working fine.
Now all of sudden one day guy called up the girl and said I will need still 5 years more to study and all, I cant get married right now. He asked the girl if she could wait for him.
Now girl is in very bad situation. She is 26 right now. Her family member will not at all allow her to wait for more 5 years for marriage. Guy turned out be irresposible person.
What should girl do now ?
Please share your best genuine suggestions.
1 person likes this
4 responses
@aslygirl (531)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
Well for me she better start to move on..maybe the guy is not yet ready to any responsibility, a man with many excuse means not yet ready for any commitment.She need to accept and at the same time respect the decision of the guy.
Maybe the guy is not mean for her, found another which she will not take for granted.
1 person likes this
@kalpan_vasa (324)
• India
31 Jan 07
I think, you mean to say, "She will not be taken for granted by guy" right?
Yes, we are trying to make her understand the same thing that he is not made for her and she should forget about that.
She has already started moving on. She almost forgot about him.
May God give her more strength and patience.
Thank you!
@xXmeganxX (4417)
•
22 Jan 07
Hi, well if the family will not allow her to wait another 5 or so years, she should tell the guy the family situation and see what he has to say or she should move on and forget about it, maybe find somebody else.
1 person likes this
@kalpan_vasa (324)
• India
23 Jan 07
Thank you for quick reply. Yes I thought the same. She explained the situation to the guy but now the guy is like "if you want to wait then wait". He is not at all supportive right now, I think he might have found out someone else in London and he just need to break up but he is not matured enough to come forward and accept the fact. I think girl should just go on and forget the past.
@cheenlly (3476)
• Philippines
22 Jan 07
that is a very tough situation but come to think of it, if they truly love each other then all will be settle. LIke my words of wisdom "Think of solution and not of problems". Its already there things change and plan change. So i guess the best solution is they should talk seriously on it. there are ways like they can still be married and not wait for that 5 years time. After they married the guy can continue his study. then both are happy, no more problem and they have each other.
@kalpan_vasa (324)
• India
23 Jan 07
Thank you for the quick reply. I truly agree with you "Think of solution and not problem". They have thought of solutions too. Girl said to get married and then guy could go for the study. Guy said no, I want to complete my study first. His responses were also not that much practicle. He said he will have to complete his study for about 5 years first and then he will think of marriage. Now, remember here guy propose the girl first, girl was not having such feelings at the first. After few months for understanding each other they have decided to talk with family and they have decide to get married within a year. But now just after he went back to London, he decided not to marry for next 5 years. This is the sign of irresposibility.
@doodlebug5250603 (1993)
• United States
22 Jan 07
it is very hard when you let family in on your love life. I think if she wants to be with that guy then she needs to accept his wishes. he waited on her didn't he... when she wasn't ready to marry yet. and if she loves him enough then she should wait on him.
@kalpan_vasa (324)
• India
23 Jan 07
Thank you for the quick reply. I am sorry to tell you this but here I am seeing that guy is not much understanding the things. He is the one who has proposed the girl while he was studying college with her. Then they mutually decided to get married with family's permission. But now all of sudden he called up from London and said he need 5 more years to study and all so he cant marry right now. He should have understand girl's situation. Any Indian family will not allow their daughter to just wait for about 5 years for the guy who is turned out to be so irresposible.
He is not even showing any feasible reason why he wants to do this. If he needs to study, he could even do this after the marraige.
So, I think girl should just forget about this and get going.
