Today's Headlines

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There was a man who, everyday, would buy a news paper on the way to work, glance at the headline, and hand it back to the news boy. Day after day the man would go through this routine. Finally the newsboy could not stand it and he asked the man, "Why do you always but a paper and only look at the front page before discarding it?"The man replied, "I am only interested in the obituaries.""But they are on page 21. You never even unfold the newspaper.""Young man," he said, "the son of a ***** I'm looking for will be on the front page."