what wud u do if u and ur sibling r both in a relationshp with the same person?

January 22, 2007 6:33pm CST
i have this cousin named anne who's in a relationship with this guy named jake for four years now.. but recently, she noticed how her sister, joan, always discouraged her about jake.. she wanted to find out why because she's having doubts on her sister.. so she went to joan's room and searched for her diary. there she found out that her joan and jake had been dating for two months behind her back! she still hadn't told joan and jake what she found out because she's scared she'd lose them both... she loved jake and can't bear to break up with him, so she didn't tell him what she found out.. so she told me. what advice can i give her???
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2 responses
@coffeechat (1961)
• New Zealand
23 Jan 07
Anne obviously loves Jake very much and cannot bear to break up with him. Anne loves her sister Joan very much, and wants to keep the relationship going. Anne is scared to confront Jake or Joan because Jake may find Joan more acceptable and she would lose them both. Anne is not angry, upset or saddened. Her principal concern is losing her two loved ones. If the above is accurate, I see that she has only one choice. She should have private discussions with her sister and Jake and agree to share the relationship. That way she can keep it all in the family and not lose either one of her loved ones. (please note, this recommendation is based on the facts that I have recited above, which I have tried to synth from your post)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
share the relationship??!!! wouldn't that be too painful for the three of them? i don't think it's right though.. well, thanks for responding.
• Canada
27 Jan 07
If he would do this to her I would have to say he doesn't have the same feelings for her that she has for him . She should not have went through her sister's diary to find out this information but her sister is not a very good sister if she would do this to her knowing they were going out . She lied and she was deceitful and if she would do this what else would she do behind her sister's back to get what she wants .