Being the authentic YOU
By Ravenladyj
@Ravenladyj (22904)
United States
January 23, 2007 9:03am CST
So whether everyone will admit it or not, we all wear "masks" during many moments in our daily lifes. Carl Jung would have refered to it as our "persona" which is according to him NOT an accurate reflection of our individuality. I agree...When does our persona/wearing our masks become a problem? and would you recognize it if it did? I often wonder about that...I came across this paragraph last night in the book I'm reading and it really got me thinking about how much ppl generally do let the masks take over their lives...
"We become so concerned about projecting the right image that we become afraid to be different or to do anything unusual or "out of character". We create armor so thick that nobody can get past it. We're so uneasy around ppl who look or act differently that we try to avoid them. One of the few times many ppl are somewhat able to loosen that grip is when they are on vacation. For 2 weeks these men and women suddenly become adventurers. Even though they normally spend every day in constrained environments in business suits, they sign up for wilderness trips or overland bike treks that allow them to loosen up the constraints of the personas that they normally project. They dont worry about looking foolish if htey act silly or behave in unconventional ways. They come back from their vacations feeling as though this is the only time they can truly be "alive" "
Looking at yourself and those around you, in a brutal truth manner, do you find that the above paragraph is true to you? If so, does that fact bother you or are you ok with being that way? Why or why not?
I do own masks still but only wear them on occasion...I went through much of my life wearing them and letting them control me and I got to a point where I jsut didnt knwo who I was anymore and I really hated that feeling...Now I refuse to be anything BUT authentic and the true me other than, like I mentioned, certain occasions where I think a mask is necessary due to respect etc (like at my mum in laws)
any thoughts?
8 people like this
30 responses
@rogue13xmen13 (14403)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I thought that this topic would never come up and thank you for bring it up. Be you people, quit acting fake and be yourself. Be the person that you were meant to be and born to be. Do not complain, rise up to the occasion and just do it.
@alchemistrx (2547)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
We will be more happier if we were ourselves. Don't you think. I agree that sometimes we do wear masks. I admit I wear masks but I think I grew tired of it that I made myself neutral to anything.
1 person likes this
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
23 Jan 07
I can not agree with you more! People do wear masks. I wrote a poems 10 years ago about everyone being in a masquerade hiding who they really are. And in that poem, I expressed how I was so tired of wearing my mask.
I have removed that mask for some...but then, that was when I became broken. So, now, I can not help but to wear a mask while every now and then, peeking out from behind it.
I have purple streaked hair. I think this also helps me to wear the mask that allows me to be more of who I am. And then people seem to say that the purple hair just seems to suit me. But they do not realize how much it really does suit me.
At the same time, I have to hide how I truly feel in my heart because I have been through so much pain, if I did not wear that mask, I would never appear to be happy. I have suffered so much and still do. But I keep my mask because I have children that do not need to see the pain and it is a way for me to mask it from myself also.
So...everything you said is very true.
But sometimes, we can not remove the mask.
I hope that one day, I will be able to remove my mask completely. But I know that time is not now. But I have patience. And I hope that one day, my patience will pay off to take that mask off. :)
@brokentia (10389)
• United States
25 Jan 07
Oh, don't get me wrong, my kids see my pain. But more that older children than the younger children. The older children can comprehend it better than my younger ones.
But there have been times that my younger children have seen me cry and I just don't like them seeing me that way. So, I will have to put on a mask to not make them worry so. My eldest daughter, however, knows so much of me. She likes to say that we are best friends...and I tend to agree. :)
You are right, I do tend to keep my mask handy for self preservation.
I think is I did not, I would be like glass and people would see right through me...with that comes the risk of a person abusing what they see. So, I keep that mask to ensure I do not turn from broken to shattered. ha ha
Oh...and yes, I am not exactly the PTA lady either. I do help out at the schools and such, but people have to get to know me before they smile and realize the hair color fits the person.
And I was very much a career person just over a year ago. When my employer hired me, they did notice my purple hair and I asked them if it would be a problem. The response...as long as I can do the job and do it well, they would not care if my hair was like Rainbow Bright! ha ha Well, I was an auditor and I saved my clients thousands of dollars. So, I was found to be a great asset to the company and my clients! :) I miss my job!!!! LOL
@vronron (83)
• Canada
23 Jan 07
I would love to be able to say that I am completely authentic every time of the day and every step of the way, and although I am becoming more comfortable with myself to be that way, there are still masks in my closet that I bring out on occasion.
I find for myself, when my masks are put away most are when I'm with people who use them all the time. As if I have to set an example for them, and in that I guess I have produced another mask for myself. I try not to let them control me though.....it's a tough process and having familiar support has really helped me.
@Ravenladyj (22904)
• United States
23 Jan 07
it really is hard to switch from wearing them to not wearing them....I found it was actually frightening at first to be honest with you...
@jimbomuso (950)
•
24 Oct 08
Hi Raven!
great post!
I think I'm licky in the fact, I'm aware of my many chameleonic masks.I think having a mask is ok, just as long as you own it and not the other way around. I dont worry anymore about 'fitting in', really it should be called 'squeezing in' because of the constraints that people place on themselves.
@chelseamk (81)
• United States
23 Oct 08
I believe wearing masks sometimes is okay. Like if you typically swear a lot and are around people whom you know do not, sure you better wear a mask. Or like what you said at your mother in laws, of course you should wear a mask and be more respectful around her. However when you're on dates, or hanging out with your best friends and you're wearing a mask, maybe your friendship with that person just isn't meant to be. I think around the people that know you best you should be able to be yourself. But at work, or your relatives that you hardly see, yes a mask is a good idea.
@rainbow (6761)
•
22 Feb 07
I used to do this and worry about what people thought of me, even strangerrs and people in shops. Then I realised I don'tjudge people on their appearance orthe way they behave in public and have probably forgotten all about them by the time I get home so I stopped pretending.
My worst one is pretending to be confident and have a god laugh around new people when really I want to run away. Most people who know me well laugh atthe idea of me being shy because by the time they are really my friend I've acted brave enough that they didn't notice the changes and accept me as I am.
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
30 Jan 07
I am forever and always bent upon being the origional and quintesential "me" and no one else.Who I perceive myself to be is one of the few constants in my world to which I can cleave in this world of constant change.
Have you ever heard the song 'Nobody knows' by Pink? it addresses this issue well
Nobody knows, nobody knows the me that sometimes crys,
I can't pretend that I'm asleep when my tears start to fall,
I peek out from behind these walls, and I think nobody knows.
The chorus goes
Baby your secret's safe with me there's nowhere else in the world that I could ever be
And baby don't it feel like your all alone, who's gonna be there after the last danger is flown.
And I've lost my way back home
I think nobody knows, nobody knows. NOBODY CARES!
Which I truly feel is a great commentary on boundaries, hiding inside the real you, and the reality of which is nobody cares, because they are too busy hiding behind their own walls
@hikaruch4n (339)
• Australia
24 Jan 07
Yes I agree... people wear mask to protect themselves from getting attacked and hurt and I'm not an exception... There are times that I want to reveal my true self, but usually failed because it's too uncomfortable.. it's scary to let people to see the real you as it seems they can attack anytime
@angel108 (570)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
I feel that people wear mask because of the fear of not being accepted.This block our true happiness. it is for this reason that as much as I can I don't wear mask. For you do not only deceive yourself but also others for not living the true self.
It takes courage to renounce others expectations from us.But the return it true happiness.
@SViswan (12051)
• India
7 Sep 07
I admit I wear my masks all the time. I'm not comfortable taking them off. Personally for me I have a reason. I believed that the there were few people who I could face without the mask. And when I took off the mask, I had a very negative reaction from the last person on earth I expected it from. Since then, I feel I'm better off with my mask and that's how I'll continue. Maybe many years down, I will have the courage to remove my mask and be my 'true' self.
@vekyengineer (1079)
• India
24 Jan 07
In normal every person has their own mask. For each and every situation the individual person reacts with different characteristics. so every one has their own mask in their real life.
@lance0x6 (31)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
if one put on a mask, it is a part of ones personality. that is still the authentic person
@hezoid (2144)
•
5 Mar 07
I've gotten to the stage where i can't be bothered with all the masks and the acting, and prefer to just be myself whenever possible. I'd rather people liked me for who i really am anyway, and if they can't see past their initial impression of me to get to know me better then it's their loss. I really dislike people who have a fake persona that they put on all the time, especially when you've known them for a while and they still use it. Of course at work i ahve to wear a bit of a mask, though it's not really a mask as such, i don't do/say/act anything that's not true to myself, i just keep a bit of myself hidden away.
@mauier113 (688)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
I should say I wear mask most of the time. Because I was raised by my parents to be a model for my brother and cousins which I realized later was a tough task they'd given me. I should not commit mistake, they always reminded me in my childhood. So I'd learned to keep thing from them, wearing masks whenever they are near. I always keep the consequences of whatever mistake I made. And even for other people to see is a diff'rent me,masked. But there are few people who really knows the real person inside me. I maybe tough outside but full of emotions inside. Although waring masked sometimes makes me do the right thing and I dont regret it.
@p0tterific (73)
• Pakistan
24 Jan 07
yes u r right we are wearing masks for the greater part of our day whether we are socializing with others or being us
@vanities (11395)
• Davao, Philippines
24 Jan 07
wearing a mask is a natural thing to do if one wishes not to reveal his own attitude or want to have a different facade...about what you have given an example on about those people who went out for vacation just to remove their mask or be by themselves and for you its one way of unmasking...but for me its not the mask ..if they chooses taking up a vacation is not taking it off its just i think unloading their stressful life in the office or at work..everyone needs a vacation but not necessarily unmasking it...well thats my views anyway...as for me ..to be honest..im not wearing any mask...im not pretentious..im so transparent that anybody can read me...its what i am not plastic on dealing with people...
@sigma77 (5383)
• United States
24 Jan 07
I realy don't care if I am popular or not. I never have been at any time. To be popular, you have to be totally fake so as to wear any number of masks to cater to those who adore you.
Breaking out of wearing masks is not so easy. In the business world you cannot afford to be anything but your "dumbed down" best. The opinion of others is important in that environment.
On the other hand, there are jobs that you can act like a total buffoon and it makes no difference.
What is acting silly? I think it depends on the person. Who gets to make up the rules as to what is silly and what is not? It is all relative. I don't know how silly I can be and be totally maskless.
I am thinking that there is always a mask of some kind that hides the true person. We might be the only ones who know what our real selves look like. It is when we are alone that we have the freedom to tear away the mask and totally be free. There is no one there to judge, no one to impress.
@aquariancore (608)
• United States
24 Jan 07
It is normal to react to different people in different ways. What is important is that at all times you stay true to morals , values and to yourself. There is a difference in wearing a mask and misrepresenting who you are and what you are about.
@cuhkiz (568)
• Philippines
24 Jan 07
there comes a certain time that we dont really act what we are honestly. Its something we don't notice in an instant but doing it for how many times. I odnt believe that people around us are being true to the fullest, Some acts like it was for real but whenever you turn back they have alot against you and that really comes so disturbing. Its hard being authentic too but yes we admit we want to be the authentic us and we are authentic in all ways but never we come up to it because people are made in not a so perfect matter :) theres no perfect in this world and we can't be perfect :)
