should a friend pass your boyfriend/girlfriend/fiancee's information around?

United States
January 23, 2007 12:05pm CST
yesterday I saw there was a new female friend on my fiancee's myspace page. I knew it was not a girl he knew personally because I recognized her as the friend of a friend of mine. My fiancee would not just talk to someone he doesnt know simply because they know someone he does so I knew he had contacted him. Come to find out this girl had found out about him from the girl who was supposed to my friend. Apparently my "friend" talks about him quite a bit. This girl actually told my fiancee "she told me how sweet you are and I just had to meet or talk to this sweet wonderful person". when I found out about this I was furious. I dont know what makes another woman say something like this to someone's fiancee. When confronted this girl claims she is not hitting on my fiancee or trying to steal him away but I dont trust her. My fiancee agreed not to talk to her but I just dont know what to think. I was very upset to the point I began to feel sick and I cried for a very long time. I didnt sleep well last night either. I dont think it was right of my "friend" to give out my fiancee's screen name or his myspace page without asking me if I would be okay with her giving it to another girl. I dont think it is her place and I think it is really inconsiderate of her. am i wrong to be upset with her and this girl? why should this girl feel the need to meet another woman's fiancee? I could use the advice right now. i'm still very bothered by it even though I just talked to my fiancee about it this morning. someone please help. i could use a friend to understand.
7 responses
• United States
12 Feb 07
Oh and do you know how she ACTUALLY found out about me? She didn't just see me on his page. No she ogged INTO his Myspace account and READ his mail. I know this b/c she actually told me so when she tried to chew me out through Myspace. And Marissa... man your boy was not happy when i told him about that. So an even better idea instead of blaming me... Maybe blame yourself for being so freakishly wrapped up in paranoia... or blame your fiance for asking for other girl's information.
2 people like this
• United States
12 Feb 07
I can verify that Sami does that because I am friends with her. She does little tiny pet things, kind of like Carrie does with her friends. It's an automatic thing thrown into a response. Why should you care if somebody thinks your boyfriend is sweet anyway? Don't you trust him to stay faithful? Has the paranoia swept in because you've been doing something you shouldn't? These are all questions that come to my mind. I don't personally know you so I don't want to place judgement. Just the way I've heard it those are all very good questions.
1 person likes this
• United States
11 Feb 07
For starters like i said, I never told anyone to contact anyone they did that own their own. I told Sami and rob MONTHS ago how great I thought he was for you, if she decided to befriend him thats not my doing. I didnt even know they were friends until BRANDON asked if he could have HER screenname, so i asked HER if BRANDON could have it because HE asked for it. So dont even try to blame that on me, I have more important things to deal with then your inability to trust your man.
1 person likes this
@Mommamea (1215)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Sounds like someone is jealous of what you have. You should trust your fiancee enough to know he would not be adding friends to his myspace for any other reason than being a friend. If you do not trust in him then he shouldn't be your fiancee. That said you should forget about this person who is clearly not your friend after all. Friends just don't do these things to each other who wishes to remain friends. Does this girl not have a boyfriend of her own? She shows that she is interested in your fiancee more than you have thought about. You don't talk about someone else to a friend unless it is someone you have some agenda towards. I would forget both girls and deal with the fiancee. He is the one who has to continue the conversations or not. That will be your answer. It is a lot to think about but think clearly before making that big step into marriage. Best of Luck
• United States
29 Jan 07
He is the kind of person who will be friends with anyone to be friends but the thing is that it was never him I was concerned about. I trust him very much and I know he would never do something like that but with the events and such that have been going on in relation to this particular "friend" I was very concerned. No she doesnt have her own boyfriend and I believe you right. She does seem to be a lot more interested in him and has surpassed simply tryinging to ruin my impending wedding and moved on to trying to take my whole relationship. Neither of us, my fiancee or I, speak to her anymore and are very much trying to assure our relationships remains just between us. By that I mean no more of this trying to make sure that our friends feel included in things and not like we're ignoring them. Its time we focused strictly on us.
• United States
11 Feb 07
Like i have continued to tell her, I DIDNT TELL them to be friends, i dont control what the hell other people do on myspace, it happens to be MYSPACE people can look at other peoples list. and as far as "giving out infromation" it was your daughters fiance, BRANDON who asked me for the girls screenname, she never bothered asking for his, and until he did ask i never even knew they were friends. So you can tell marissa to stop trying to blame me for the actions of others.
1 person likes this
• United States
12 Feb 07
regardless of whatever reason you claim it was for there is no justification for you talking about my fiance for any reason to anyone. If I think someone should know something about my fiance I'll tell them myself, or he can tell them. Until then it is none of their business and no one else's place to run their mouth. Besides for someone who claims to have been so happy for me you sure did come up with a lot of rediculous lies to tell him.
@joshdale08 (2324)
• Philippines
29 Jan 07
hey, i know how you feel. and it's perfectly alright to feel the way you do. it's only normal. i don't know if you've heard about this certain belief that we, filipinos, have always considered specially when we're about to get married. it has been said that when you're getting married, you go through a lot of trials and problems . sometimes, specially when the relationship is not strong enough, it can cause a breakup between the couple. what i'm saying is, it's just one of those trials. and there will be more. just don't let yourself be swayed. hold on to your love, both of you, and to your dreams. laugh at trivial things together. think of these things as practice for the many, many trials you'll be going thru when you're married already. trust me, i've been there. hold on, girl!
• United States
29 Jan 07
youre definitely right! This is probably just one of those trials. Actually i was starting to think of something like that myself so i'm glad you mentioned it. Thank you very much. I am certain my fiancee and I will get through this as well and continue on together.
@blastrail (347)
• India
23 Jan 07
You should be possessive enough not to allow others to attract your fiancee. Or you should control him by any means.
• United States
23 Jan 07
well the thing is that he didnt actually say anything wrong. ya know he wasnt outright flirting the way she was. I talked to him about it this morning and he did agree not to talk to her if it really bothers me that much. I just think that the girl who was supposed to be my friend was out of line giving out his information. especially without ever mentioning it to me. It isnt her place and she should not have done that. It would be different if it was her fiancee then she could do whatever she chose to but hes not. you see?
• United States
23 Jan 07
The girl that did that to you is, in my opinion, not a friend at all. Friends don't go behind their friends back and talk about their sweet fiancee. Don't you think? I would go to her and ask her why she has to talk about your fiancee so much, is she opposed or bored with her own life, I'm not saying that your life or your fiancee's is boring. But she needs to butt out and talk about something else. It would bother me alot I think almost as much, if not as much as it has seemed to bother you. But more than that this takes trust in the relationship you have to trust your friends and everyone around you, but also know that they are honest to you. You probably already trust your fiancee alot because getting married is a big step. So you dont need friends like that other girl or her stupid friend to be butting into your life for no reason. Sorry it had to happen to you.