should it matter whats a person looks like on the outside

United States
January 23, 2007 10:51pm CST
I have a friend who is in love but her man tell her that he loves her from her waist up and he went as far too say that he was going to help her lose the weight and he brought her a bowflex to help her he even coaches her and she has lost some wieght which is very good she is not only losiong it for herself but for the man she loves with all her heart I know this fella says he loves her but in the same sentence he keeps talking about her losing weight he keeps saying when you get down to 150 than we will take about getting married..my friend has thyroid promblems and is taking medicine for it but I know that even with the medicine your weight fluxuates so I am wondering what if my friends loses the weight and they get married if she gains the weight back would he stay faithful to her..I think that if he loves her like he said than he should not worry about how her body is shaped you just can not love just part of a person what do you think
1 person likes this
3 responses
@missyd79 (3438)
• United States
24 Jan 07
you are absolutely right. it would be different if he was helping her lose weight to help her stay healthy, but it sounded like he wants her to lose weight because he doesn't like the way she looks. that is just wrong.
@sigma77 (5385)
• United States
24 Jan 07
That is an interesting story. I don't think you can lose weight for someone else. I think it has to be a commitment made by the person who wants to lose weight and keep their weight down. That was nice of him to buy her that item to help her get into shape. I do not agree with his thinking. Either he loves her for who she is...or he is hoping to make her into a person he could love. Relationships and love can be dificult to maintain without putting all kinds of conditions on them. What about the man? Is he willing to make some changes if she asks him to? He can't be that perfect. What happens if your friend can't maintain her weight because of the thyroid problem? Is this guy gonna give her up just because she weighs to much in his view? What about his true feelings for the kind of person she is? It seems to me that she might be making a mistake by thinking that this guy is going to love her more when she has lost weight. You ask a good question. If he is having trouble accepting her as she is now, how will he look at her years from now if she can't control her weight through no fault of her own? Something to me about this relationship does not seem right. It is out of balance to me.
• United States
24 Jan 07
I agree 100%. He should love her for who she is on the inside. However he could just be trying to help her too. He may love her reguardless, but just would like to see her lose some weight. If he really WILL NOT marry her unless she loses this weight then she needs to ditch him, because its not really love.