My lifetime dilemma
By Drawdoow
@Drawdoow (2)
United States
October 7, 2006 7:25pm CST
All my life I have tried to live by the golden rule. You know do unto others as you would have them do unto you. All I have gotten is nothing. I find myself, at almost 46 years old with nothing. My last serious relationship just ended in May. I have no job. I am living with friends. I have no car. I am a recovering drug addict and alcoholic. My children (2 girls 13 and 10) from a previous marriage, of which there were 2, live in Chicago and I live in Philadelphia. I did serve honorably in the military for 7 1/2 years to include Desert Shield and Storm and I graduated from college at the top of my class. Although my degree is in a field which I hate and somehow always seem to lose my job although my employers tell me it wasn't my fault just a business decision. I am broke with absolutely no assets and find myself trying to start over again. Oh yeah did I mention that I attempted suicide at the end of August. I am trying, with psychiatric help and antidepressant drugs to do something positive. But this just seems to be a recurring theme in my life. Nothing ever goes my way.
6 responses
@Drawdoow (2)
• United States
8 Oct 06
Thank all of you for your support and comments. I am seeking help through the Veterans admin. They are giving me meds and psych help, thank god I have them. Also, I have a lot of support form my family but they are mostly far away and this is the way we connect. I am trying to find AA meetings everyday but it is difficult with no money to take the bus or train. I do pray often but maybe church would help as a child and teen I was very active in the church. I was remiss when I forgot to tell you all that as a result of the attempt on my life I have short term memory loss. I have forgotten the last 4 1/2 years of my life. That is coming back slowly. Again thanks and keep saying prayers.
@ssh123 (31071)
• India
8 Oct 06
I am extremely sorry to hear about pathetic situation you have been put into. There is no age limit to restart life. Why do not you make up your mind and restart with a fresh new job and hang on the job for day to day living and later find a good job. Unless one diverts one's attention to the working, the mind will always create a problem. An idle man's brain is devil's workshop. So start from tomorrow to work and work hard. Your age is not old age.
@taychrismama (375)
• United States
8 Oct 06
sorry to hear things arent going well for you, dont give up just keep trying good luck!
@bblessed (1822)
• United States
8 Oct 06
Give your life to God. Let Jesus show you the way.Pray to him today and confess your sins. Ask Jesus to come into your heart and lead your way. You can do all things through Christ who strengthens you! Dont let the devil have another minute of your precious time. You are worth more! Good luck and there are other ways on the internet that you can make money if you have internet. Every little penny helps. I will say a prayer for you!!Claim Jesus as your savior today!!!!
@toaste (139)
• United States
8 Oct 06
I am feeling like that sometime because it seems like all I ever do is for someone else, BUT I am not preaching a sermon here, I just know that it has helped me to become a church member and know I have good people to help me reason things out. I would suggest that you stop worrying about a relationship and concentrate on what is best for YOU. The only way to feel better is to care about YOU first. It is not selfish. If you don't love yourseld how can you expect anyone else too. Your children are gifts and they can become your best friends. Do what you need to do to become the person you deserve to be, and then you can worry about what others think. I am sure you are a very decent person but without much support from family and friends it is very hard. I will listen anytime you want to talk.
