Midlife Crisis? Anybody have any first hand experience?

Remember you have been married for 24 years... you have five children... it is a routine thing for a man to become irritable. There may be something wrong at work, or there may be something he is not happy with at home. When I look back I wanted to be where I am 10 years ago. That really puts me into a funk when I think about it. Sit him down late at night and talk about it. He is your partner for life and you should share what is on your mind. That does not mean that he is going to voluntarily give up that informaton... you are going to need to be the one to ask him.

Is your husband around 40. This is the midlife crisis we all have to have. Some find it hard, some easy. It's a time when we wonder what the hell we've done with our lives. People feel really restless, it's physical as well as psychological. Sounds like his agitation is being directed onto you, probably cause you are the closest to him. Many people actually do leave their job, and do things out of the norm as a result of this time. If you are able try to get him to talk about what's going on. He may not even be able to put it into words. He could be just plain bored with his life at the moment but doesn't know what to do about it. Doesn't matter if you're male or female, this happens to everyone and people handle it differently. I am female and it started for me when I was 37. I got fed up and changed quite alot. Luckily I didn't have too many responsibilities to worry about. Maybe you could try to match his outbursts with support without cowering, don't take this time personally, it's not about you, it's his emotional crises. He has to find a way through it, either by changing jobs, doing something different to get a more balanced perspective to his life. One of the big questions people ask at this time is "What about ME". It's not a selfish cry for help. It's a time for perspective. "What have I done with my life?" "Have I followed my dreams". "Am I being fulfilled". It's a real inner struggle. It can also be seen as childish behavior in some peoples eyes. Take some deep breathes. I send you patience and strength.

I'm in my late thirties so too early for mid-life crisis. Perhaps your husband is just dissapointed with what he's achieved so far. You mention success with raising children, but this is more satisfying to women than men - there's a biological instinct with women who want to have and raise children, and achieveng it is very satisfying. With men it's a little different - they seem to need to achieve at work. When I met my husband, I was earning more than him - and the relationship improved when I gave up work and he was the sole breadwinner. Find out if there is something he's always wanted to achieve, and see if you can help make it happen. Of course it's easier if it's something like travelling and seeing the world rather than him becoming CEO.

I dont know why dont you ask him so you could know. But remember this he might not want to talk or tell you about it. But you should try and not get mad if he doesnt want to tell you. May be he will tell you someday but if get worst i think you should ask some of his friends or a professional what to do before its to late. Goodluck!

I call it PMS but it is hard to deal with, maybe the two of you need a break away from everything ,kids included...My boyfriend acts that way when I have neglected him alittle to much...if you need someone to vent on I will PM you my home number!!! I am a great listener.

If he's between the agaes of 40-60(give or take a few years),your man is blaazing a trail through male midlife.he's having a crisis. what you must keep in mind is that he really doesn't understand what he's doing,he isn't deliberately hurting you he just knows that something is wrong in his life and he's searching for the answers. of course you are sitting there saying "whoa ! I'm supposed to just be quiet and tolerate his forays into other-woman-land and let's-junk-it-all-and-sail-around-the-world-land or dicth-the-station-wagon-i-need-a-red-sports-car-land?"..lol well,yes of course you do have options here.you can rage and make demands that he clean up his act.and probably shortly thereaafter you'll find yourself in divorce-land. you see,men don't plan on turning unpredictable.it happends when they look in the mirror or in the eyes of their grandchildren and see themselves as old men.they have,up to this point,believed they were 25 year old boys. midlife crisis devours relationships.it may be devouring yours.what you must understand and believe is that no matter what you do,or don't do,the outcome will be the same.you do not have control over him,only yourself.

My ex husband was in his 40s and began to have midlife crisis. I knew it immediately. Suddenly he was not affectionate. He was out a lot. I drove around town and found the car parked outside the home of another woman. Before all this we were so happy together. We had two wonderful boys. He eventually filed for divorce and married her. The second time I married, I married a man in his late fifties. I would not go through that again.

they say men too hv monopause like problems but very litterl is written and known about it. its very much natural that they too face the same problems like us in midlife, so we must try to understand them and hv empathy for them.

We don't know either. I suggest you ask him directly in a calm fashion.

sounds like you're right.he's the only one who can change this right now.maybe if you and he took some time off from home things could be different.