My dad
@keepermykitty (2573)
Canada
January 25, 2007 6:21pm CST
My dad just passed away, and the only will we could find was an old one. Just before Xmas Dad told me he had gone to his lawyer to update it cause he had made changes to it. My sister`s and my brother are the executers . Now it seems to us that the oldest sister is getting everything. The house vechiles RRSP`s, Life insurence etc... In the old will it is stated that every thing is to be split 5 ways between 5 kids , But without seeing the will (she won`t go to the lawyer) to get it cause she is scared the lawyer will take his fees out of the estate. How are the rest of ussupposed to know what exactly is goin on none of us are close by and we only know what she is telling us . What would you do ,we don`t want to cause an arguement over this is there any good way to handle it. I don`t know anything about wills etc if you have any suggestions it would be greatly appreciated
THANK_YOU
14 people like this
46 responses
@ladymoonstone143 (1507)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Make sure that all of you will meet and discuss this matter thoroughly. The 5 of you should split everything equally. I known siblings who are not talking at all just because they think they've been cheated out of an inheritance. I bet the 4 of you will have time to go down there where your sister is and look at everything because if you don't, there will always be doubt on your mind if she is telling you the truth or not.
4 people like this
@AnythngArt (3302)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I agree; all of your siblings and you should meet with your sister and ask her to show you the will or go to the lawyer's and see the most recent copy. The persistence of doubt can ruin your family, causing endless fighting and bad feelings for the rest of your lives if you don't resolve this equitably. I am sure that your father would want all of you to love and care about each other, and would want everything divided equally. Don't listen to your sister's suggestions about not consulting the lawyer.
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thats the way I feel about it ,thats what I don`t want to see happen our family has been through enough, we can`t afford any doubts between eachother Thans for your input
2 people like this
@debny711 (264)
• United States
26 Jan 07
The five of you need to sit down and discuss the situation. I know from experience. This can cause a big family feud. If your sister doesn't want to sit and talk then you need to get a lawyer and contest the will. I know people who had to do it. They aren't talking to their family members but its something that needs to be done if you feel like you are being cheated.
@katty0004 (386)
• United States
26 Jan 07
You pretty well have to go to a lawyer any way they have to know what he had to clam thats what mom did , And then if theres a will go over it to , get you other brother and sister and go to the lawyer your dad had and if made a change in his will this lawyer will know that to , but what ever you do don't let your sister try to get evrything it don't work like that and yes that lawyer is going to get and so will the government to
4 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Yea thats what it seems like right now, I donn`t want to feel the way I do but its the whole thing around the situation Thanx
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Yes , I agree but so far my sister hasn`t told us who the lawyer is thats the problem its like she doesn`t want us to know. Thank you for responding
2 people like this
@katty0004 (386)
• United States
26 Jan 07
You might have to go to court over this to get her to come clean on it , sounds like she wanting to be a little dirty about it .
1 person likes this
@sandie61 (2359)
• United States
26 Jan 07
you should have been given a copy of your Dad`s will. this way everyone will know what they are entitled to receive. everyone that is listed in the will should receive a copy. call your dads lawyer and tell them you would like a copy of the will. I am sorry for the loss of your Dad.
4 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thank you we all had a copy of the old one but Dad told me there were changes and that he went to the lawyer to update it , we will have to search for the lawyer cause so far our sister hasn`t told us who it is.
2 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
T hank You so much , You sound like you know what to do. I really do not know who his lawyer is , Dad never told me the lawyers name , and I never asked for his name cause I didn`t exoect to need it so soon. I am gonna start looking for him/her on Monday Thanx again
@thinkingoutloud (6127)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
keeper please accept my condolences on the loss of your father. Both my parents have already passed away and I had to deal with settling both of their estates. If your father said he updated his will, chances are he would have used the same lawyer. Did he move between the time he wrote his original will and the time he said he updated it? If not, contact the lawyer who appears on the copy of the original will that you already have. Mention that there was supposed to have been a recent update and ask for confirmation of it. If it exists, request a copy. They'll probably charge you a small fee to provide you with an official copy but I doubt it would be much. If they don't have a revision, I'm sure they could advise you on exactly how to find out if one exists.
Your sister does not get to choose which will she uses. If a newer version exists, it is the only one that is legal. Writing a new will makes the original null and void. I understand your concerns about legal fees... but try that one phone call first, to see if you can confirm an updated will exists. If it does, then you can make more definite decisions.
I wish you luck... settling an estate, especially with so many siblings, can be a messy affair if it's not handled correctly from the start. Stand your ground.
1 person likes this
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
26 Jan 07
From what I know about wills, all of you will have to meet with your dad attorney and then the attorney will tell you all what was left to who and how everything is supposed to be divided between you all. The attorney will be able to tell you when changes were made and what kind of changes were made and they can usually tell you why those changes were made. Also when you all meet with the attorney you will see it in black and white so that you know that it is what your dad requested and not just taking your sisters word for it. Unfortunatly though if you disagree there is not much that can be done unless you want to cause real preblems with the family. Meet with the attorney and see what was done.
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thanx for responing, thats what I believe, but like I say its like my siter and brother doesn`t want to get a lawyer involved and I am no executer so as far as i know I almost have my hands tied without causing a battle I`m not sure any of us are ready for.Thanx again
2 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thats not very nice, I honestly don1t understand why people do what they do , I am gonna try to find out who Dad`s lawyer was even if he didn`t re-do the will then atleast we`ll know, anything not to ruin our relationship ,Honestly I never wanted anything I only want to know the truth. Whether he did or not just to quiet the others in the family, cause their all upset about the whole thing.
THANK-YOU ALL FOR LISTENING andd FOR THE ADVICE
@judyt00 (3497)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
forget your greedy sister, go to the lawyer and ask him about your father's will. Shedoesn't have to be there, and I suspet the lawwer has already got his fee. itsounds like your sister just wants to keep everything . My aunt didthat, she justdrove a truck up to my grandmother'shouse before the will was read, and took everything she wanted, including things that were at the house for safe keeping from small hands.
4 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thank you all for your advice. I have never been in this type of situstion before. The worst thing is that my Dad didn`t want the arguments over anything I figure thats why he wrote the will to begin with.
2 people like this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
31 Jan 07
YPU ARE SO RIGHT I`m sorry if you mis understood what I meant
Thank you for your input
I do know what your saying I love my sisters and will not lose them over something so petty ,
Htank-You again
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Right now I haven`t a lawyer but I suppose your right.One never can tell anymore, you think you know someone and they wouldn`t do that but I`ve been wrong before. Thank you
2 people like this
@sbeauty (5865)
• United States
26 Jan 07
You need to contact the lawyer and find out what your dad's last wishes were. How can you proceed at all without seeing that will he told you he was going to make? Don't do anything until you at least call the lawyer and see what you can find out.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thanx I have seen a copy of the old one its the updated one I think she is scared of.
2 people like this
@money_maker01 (1097)
• Malaysia
26 Jan 07
hi, sorry to hear that but i think it's a wise action by discussing your problem here. at least you could view many opinions here so you could make the decesion wisely. for me it's preety unfair by doing changing the will. but i think your dad had his own thinking. maybe he asked your sister to eveluate you guys with some conditions.who knows. only the qualified persons will get the portion of the will. but if are in the hot water, you can discuss the matter nicely with your sister without including the civil law system.
1 person likes this
@Insightful1 (49)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I would try to set up a meeting with all siblings. Go through the details of the will and what seems to be a fair and equatible situation for everyong. Manytimes situations like this divide families. If there is no meeting of the minds, then an estate attorney should be hired
@sherrir101 (3670)
• Malinta, Ohio
26 Jan 07
I am so sorry for your loss. We lost my dad 9 yrs ago. My mom and sister handled it all. I still have no clue what went on with will and such. To me it didn't matter as long as my mom was taken care of.
1 person likes this
@cruzades (659)
• Philippines
26 Jan 07
If there's no new "will" (amended by your father) will come out, the old "will" will be the basis of sharing, by defacto, inheritance is equally divided among siblings, whether there's a will or not. Since you have the old "will" with you, better talk to the lawyer (much better if same lawyer that father spoke with before he passed away), and settle things in proper and legal manner.
1 person likes this
@keepermykitty (2573)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Thats what I say but my sister only wants to go by the old will I can see she isn`t interested in the new one . Thanx for replying
2 people like this
@sharone74 (4837)
• United States
27 Jan 07
You should at the very least get in touch with the lawyer personally by mail, by phone, and by fax. Make every effort to reach this person as once the will is probated (thats 30 days) you loose the ability to contest any will that has been submitted be it the old one that you found or the new one. You have to find out what is going on and you need to do it quickly to protect your interests. I understand that the loss of your father is probably devestating but you will still need to find the will to make inquiries into what he wished to leave of his physical possessions. My condoloences also.
@rubypatson (1841)
• India
26 Jan 07
That not fair, go to the lawyer and check out his latest will, it should be distributed equally that is only right thing to do
1 person likes this
@foxxeechocolate (525)
• United States
26 Jan 07
file a petition in probate court. they will help mediate and no money will be dished out yet.
1 person likes this
@kawillow74 (1416)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Well can you contract the lawyer and get your own copy and your sister will have to get it from the lawyer I thought you went to the lawyers to have them read I am not sure just is what I am thinking.
@cwgrlsarefun (1581)
• United States
26 Jan 07
From what I know about wills, all of you will have to meet with your dad attorney and then the attorney will tell you all what was left to who and how everything is supposed to be divided between you all. The attorney will be able to tell you when changes were made and what kind of changes were made and they can usually tell you why those changes were made. Also when you all meet with the attorney you will see it in black and white so that you know that it is what your dad requested and not just taking your sisters word for it. Unfortunatly though if you disagree there is not much that can be done unless you want to cause real preblems with the family. Meet with the attorney and see what was done.
1 person likes this
@tazmazz59 (9)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Hello,
Sorry to hear of you loss, wills are complicated and if they are not done the correct way it could be an real nightmare, first off ask for a copy of the will, all included shoud have received one. Unfortunatly you will need an atourney, this happens all the times with families. No one can get along.
