Have you ever lost a child due to a Miscarriage?

@KrauseHome (36448)
United States
January 25, 2007 6:49pm CST
and how does it effect you still today? Is it wrong to still mourn at times, or should I be able to completly move on? I know some people may say it is wrong to mourn, and miss them, but there are times I find me wishing I could have had them especially when I know others with kids around their ages, or anniversary reminders as well. Well, I have had at least 3 miscarriages in my lifetime, and due to Female issues, I was never able to carry a child full term. If mine would have lived, I would have an almost 20 yr. old, a 16 yr. old, and an 11 yr. old. For me, sometimes I have my good days and my bad, and wish that I could have had at least one of them live. What makes it hardest for me, is the anniversary dates of when they would have been born. Especially when I have friends who have kids right around their age. But all I can do is realize, God had his hands in this, and there are things in our lives we may not always understand, but we become better people from these.
2 people like this
7 responses
• United States
26 Jan 07
I totally understand where you are coming from. i have lost only one child. and it still is painful. it was january 17 2003. i still think about it all the time. i even wonder if the baby was a boy or a girl.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
29 May 07
Well, people always tell me mine were probably for the Best, and they are probably right, but still there are times where it would be been nice. Especially the days I am feeling like why me?
@7nicole1 (1633)
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Me and my girlfriend never have but my mom did right between me and my sisters birth and she still talks about it to this day so I know it still bothers her.
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@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Yes, there will always be the what ifs that is for sure.
• United States
26 Jan 07
I miscarried in June of 2004, and then during my pregnancy with my daughter, I miscarried her twin. It was an awful experience both times. It still bothers me.
@brendalee (6082)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Its not wrong to still mourn. It is something you can never forget. I am so sorry for your losses. I too have lost a child due to miscarriage. It happened on January 31st 2002. That was also the birthday of a little girl I babysat. I found comfort in the fact that there was something to celebrate that day but I will never forget. I also had a friend who was pregnant about the same time and our due dates were close. I couldn't even bring myself to go to her baby shower. It was probably selfish but I just couldn't do it.
@suscan (1955)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I have not had one,but my Aunt who I am close to, has had several. She also lost a baby at 6 months old in a car accident and she had a miscarriage at the same time. She does think of them. I think it would be hard to move on. But we never know why God gives us what he does.
• United States
26 Jan 07
Why would you be expected to NOT mourn?? You lost your child, nothing in the world can every take away that pain, not even time. All you can do is accept it, which it seems like you have.
1 person likes this
@KrauseHome (36448)
• United States
26 Jan 07
Yes, that is the best thing to do, as their is nothing that can change the loss over something like this.
@caribe (2465)
• United States
26 Jan 07
I think that it is a normal thing to grieve for the children that you have lost and for what could have been. I never had any children either because of some female issues. I had one miscarriage and I grieve some on the date that my child was due to be born, though not as much as time has passed. I had a friend that had a baby right about the same time that I was due and I always thought about the fact that my child would be about his size doing the things he was doing. I think it is a natural thing to think of. The important thing is that I didn't let it consume my life and I felt there must be a plan and a purpose for me not having children that were living. I miss being a parent but there isn't anything I could do to make it happen except adopt. That hasn't seemed to be in the big scheme of things either thus far.