is what im doing wrong?

United States
January 26, 2007 2:17pm CST
i have a boyfriend. and ive been dating him for quite sometime, and well i dont think i have the same feelings anymore... i have this really good guy friend. named shane. and he asked me to go to the dance because mi bf couldnt make it.. i told mi bf that, and he fliped out on me... and i didnt enjoy being flipped out on. so i dumped him... he still hinks we are together.. but i am still going to that dance with shane.. he is a really good guy. he wanted to pay for me.. i of course told him not to! cuz i fell cheap when guys pay for girls... but idk am what im doing wrong? is it bad that i dont love mi X? and broke up with him cuz of mi feelings? is it also bad, that i sttood up and didnt want to get hurt? also, is it bad, that im going to the dance to have fun? please write back!!!..... = ]]
2 people like this
32 responses
@AmStaff (142)
• Romania
26 Jan 07
First ... i think that what you did was fair. If he couldn't go to the dance with you ... you shouldn't go alone .. or don't go. And the fact that he fliped over.. it's not a good signed. Why didn't he took you to the dance????
1 person likes this
• Canada
26 Jan 07
Ashlymm, I notice that you're "about" the same age as one of my daughters so I'll try to tell you what I tell her, if that's ok... you don't have to "love" someone to date them when you're 15 or 16 years old :) To be "in love" with someone takes time, at least in my opinion. You had a boyfriend that you cared about but it wasn't working out in a way that was making you happy, so you decided to end it (why does he think you are still together?? because he didn't want to break up, you mean??). You did exactly what you should have done in that situation. Your feelings are going to change often over the next while. You're definitely learning what you want and don't want from an eventual relationship. No, it's not bad that you don't "love" your ex. It's just about growing and changing and learning who you are as a person and who you want to be with. Shane sounds nice and, if you both want to go to the dance together, then go and have a great time :) You're supposed to be having fun! Oh.. one other thing.. it's perfectly ok (and really thoughtful) if Shane wants to pay your admission to the dance. He's being a gentleman ;) It's not "cheap" to have a guy pay for you. I think it's really nice, actually. A lot of guys aren't being raised that way anymore.
1 person likes this
• Melbourne, Florida
26 Jan 07
You are young and should be 'dating'. Not tied down to one guy. You will go through many more. It's better to 'play the field' and find out about all your choices.
1 person likes this
• India
27 Jan 07
What you are doing is not wrong cause what u felt for ur so called boy friend is just an attraction but beware of ur next relationship, it might also be just another attraction
@samraf (725)
• India
27 Jan 07
i think you are doing very very bad with him . you shouldnt be doing this .. oh man i feel pitty for that guy who ever your bf is ...i really feel so pity on him you are just cheating him just for you own fun is this what you called love ? is this what you are calling him as your bf ? belive me i would be your bf and you were cheating on me then belive me ill would never see your face again .. i know i would be loving my gf but i would never and ever tolerate if she will cheat on me and do things without my permission or the things which are not liked by me or i have said not to do to her. well i think i am going kind off emotional and before ill go more i think i come to the point and help you out of this matter.. try to stop doing what you bf ask you to and never say lie to him because love is the relation which is built on TRUST. so just respect it or leave it, Regards.
• India
27 Jan 07
I think u forget ur bf and think about ur friends and be happy always
@avs189 (1030)
• India
27 Jan 07
Just go and have fun ,dont be emotionally involved ourself since ur too young for this matter...so have time of ur life..."You cannot catch fish without getting wet"
• Philippines
27 Jan 07
It is only natural to fall out of love. We hear about some people going steady for so long but all of a sudden they broke up. Nothing wrong with that. If anyone of the partners find out that he has lost his feelings, he'd better take heed and set the partner free as soon as possible. There is no point of going on anymore. This way, both of you may now start to find someone else who may be interesting.
@kiran_raj (112)
• India
27 Jan 07
well...no one likes to flipped upon & so would I have felt if I were u...U gotto always maintain ur self-respect even if its with ur bf & I do appreciate ur attitude of payin ur share when u have to...but think Twice... If u really love ur X...then I think u should reconcile things with him n get along...Love is all abt forgivin...Isn't it????but trust me,Guys always feel insecure when their gal goes out for a dance with her best guy friend(taking into consideration ur BF hasn't met ur friend & knows wat u ppl actually share with eachother)...talk to him & let him know where u draw a line for ur guy friend,which u don't for ur bf...Iam sure that he would understand If he "REALLY LOVES U"...
@Phemzy (97)
• Nigeria
27 Jan 07
What you did is not really good to some extents because there is an adage that says, the devil you know before is better than the angel you just know. This means that your x-boyfriend which you know very well, his like and dislike and also he knows your likes and dislike. This new guy you are talking about, may be hiding his true character because he will want to control you in the first place and after that he will show his true character. Since you said you like him, what my advice will be is just for you to try to make sure you are doing thing like a wise lady, think twice before you execute your decision.
• Poland
27 Jan 07
Explore your world while your still young. There is nothing wrong with it. Just have to be true with what you feel.
@MrIkki (89)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
i dont think u did anything wrong either, your X doesnt control u so u can do whatever u want, he doesnt have the right to flip out on u, i believe in equality and u should stand up to him whenever u feel u need to. and go have fun sooner or later u wont have time to.
@hellfire (187)
• India
27 Jan 07
yes... i think what you are doing is wrong only.. you should correct your ways as soon as you can or as soon as possible...
• India
27 Jan 07
It was right of you to go to dance but not your behavior with your boyfriend.
• Singapore
27 Jan 07
Of course any warm blooded man would flip out! You are wrong to dump a man who flip on you bc you wanted to go to the dance with another man! You need to decide if you want a relationship built on solid foundation, not sinking sand!
• India
27 Jan 07
no nothin wrong opt for someone betr
@yy4cmm (23)
• United States
27 Jan 07
try to talk with ur X, and dont be tie to 1 person, talking is how u resolve the problems, dont be feared, just go with him.
• India
27 Jan 07
u have 2 tell 1 guy that ur not with him or try 2 make understand shane that u have bf..
@sarawaken (360)
• Malaysia
27 Jan 07
yes
• India
27 Jan 07
I know sometimes it feels bad when someone whom you love shouts at you or make you feel small,,, but i don't think you should ditch him for that... however going to dance with a friend is not bad or wrong he is just a friend .. so it is ok.