What my mother taught me.
By crazynurse
@crazynurse (7482)
United States
January 27, 2007 12:21am CST
My mother taught me RELIGION -
"You better pray that will come out of the carpet."
My mother taught me FORESIGHT -
"Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
My mother taught me about WEATHER -
"It looks as if a tornado swept through your room."
My mother taught me about BEHAVIOR MODIFICATION -
"Stop acting like your father!"
My mother taught me about STAMINA -
"You'll sit there until all that spinach is finished."
My mother taught me IRONY -
"Keep laughing and I'll *give* you something to cry about."
My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
"If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
My mother taught me LOGIC:
"Because I said so, that's why."
What did your mother teach you?
4 people like this
11 responses
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Let's see what I can think of:
PATIENCES:
"You're birthday is coming" (Christmas etc)
TO BE ACCURATE:
"If I told you once I've told you a thousand times"
BE UNIQUE:
"If all your friends jumped off a bridge would you?"
That's all I can think of. Those are different and I enjoyed doing this.
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
28 Jan 07
Thanks emerald...I am amazed at everyone's creativity!
1 person likes this
@UmmBinyamin (419)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Lol
My Mother Taught Me About Cooking
"i Will burn a whole in your butt if you try it"
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Ha Ha Ha!! Took me a second, then I realized what your mother was saying. Mine would say something similar,"If I catch you doing that, I will blister your a$$."
1 person likes this
@craftwave (1338)
• United States
6 Feb 07
My mother taught me religion. I can still hear my father say that she gave him a burnt offering. She also taught me cooking; It is hot enough to fry an egg on the road. She taught me house keeping: Go take a walk and blow the cob webs off. She taught me about birds: Get your tongue back in your mouth before a bird lands on it.
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
6 Feb 07
I love those! I especially love the 'burnt offering!' Ha!
@AskAlly (3625)
• Canada
27 Jan 07
My husband and I put our heads together and remembered some of these.
My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"Just wait until your father gets home."
My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You are going to get it when we get home!
"My Mother taught me about my ROOTS...
"Do you think you were born in a barn?"
And my all time favorite... JUSTICE...
"One day you'll have kids,
and I hope they turn out just like you....
Then you'll see what it's like!"
2 people like this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
27 Jan 07
Oh gosh!!! I am sitting here with the biggest grin, I seriously can hear my mother saying two of those..."wait until your father gets home" and "One day you'll have kids and I hope they turn out just like you." Those are priceless Ally!! Thanks...I love this thread, I wish more would participate! What's funny, I remember as a child saying to myself, "when I am a mom, I won't say those things to my child" and "I won't use these forms of punishment." You guessed it, "I parent very much like my mother and father parented me!
1 person likes this
@Poofs_that_r_cheesy (291)
• United States
5 Feb 07
All the Above and she also "Forgot" to mention a few things as well...
Like that newborn children will sometimes roll their eyes up into their head when they fall asleep and it is not a seisure...
Or that the Baby poop is green in the beginning and that is not a problem...
Or when they become mobile they will run faster then you towards the first hazard they can find...
Fun things when you tell Mom she just laughs and says "Oh yea you were like that as well"
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Hi poofs, nice twist you got going there! Yes, I'm sure all of our mother's forgot a few things like that! How about forgetting to mention that the only time a child will get the temp of 105 degrees is after the physician's office hours or on weekends, thus requiring a trip to the emergency room!
@gabbyheart (63)
• United States
6 Feb 07
My mother taught me about HEALTH:
"Don't cross your eyes, you want them to stay that way?"
"Eat your carrots, did you ever see a rabbit wearing glasses?"
If I told her I had a pimple on my tongue, she said, " You must have told a lie."
"Don't do as I do, do as I say!"
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
6 Feb 07
OMG, I remember my mom using the one about the crossing of the eyes! The other two are new to me! (love your avatar!)
@Lydia1901 (16351)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Those are some good things. I guess my mother taught me to be myself and always do the right thing.
@inked4life (4224)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I would say that the number one thing my mother taught me is that the toughest stain on the skin can be cleaned with spit and a wad of tissue....I ran into her one morning on my way to work and she performed this technique on me in front of a few of my fellow employees...I was 27 at the time....man, I loved that woman!!
1 person likes this
@crazynurse (7482)
• United States
5 Feb 07
Hey inked, I may have figured you out! Maybe her spitting on you to get a stain off is what led you to your love of tattoos. You are certain that your mom's spit won't/can't remove them!
@villageanne (8553)
• United States
27 Jan 07
I loved this, I have heard it before but loved reading it again. I too was taught those things.
@chaygylmommy (2470)
• United States
27 Jan 07
LOL that is really cute! I wish I could come up with some funny stuff!
1 person likes this
