how to help a friend deal with the loss of a child

January 28, 2007 6:41am CST
My friend lost her baby when she was 20 weeks pregnant. they dont know what happened and, why she had her baby that early but none the less her sweet little boy is gone. How do you help a friend who has gone through this deal with the pain she feels? WHat is the ""right" thing to say in this situation. SHe is a good friend of mine, but im pregnant right now too. Im not that far along but i dont want to hurt her and be around her if my pregnancy bothers her, but i dont want her to feel like i dont care enough to come around either. what would you do?
1 person likes this
2 responses
• Australia
28 Jan 07
I am talking from experience as I respond to this thread. My beautiful baby girl was stillborn and was born at 23 weeks gestation. I wasnt with my daughters father at the time and at that stage never needed him. He still to this day has had nothing to do with any arrangements that needed to be done, nor did he care for our then 2 1/2 yo son. He never came to the hospital either. As hard as you may feel it would be, please dont desert your friend. Some of my friends that I considered to be my closest, just stayed away and never came to see me or even ring to see how i was coping. I found that my true friends were the ones that already had children. They would bring meals, cook, babysit but best of all they were there when I needed someone to talk too. Just give your friend time before visiting, but make sure you call her just to let her know that you care and are there if she needs you. She was still your friend before this happened and it shouldnt change anything. Hugs to your friend and best wishes for your baby.
2 people like this
• Canada
28 Jan 07
thank you so much for your kind words and advice. i am so sorry to hear about your loss.
• Australia
28 Jan 07
Youre welcome. I hope it helps:)
@deebomb (15317)
• United States
28 Jan 07
The best thing that you can do is let her know that you care and that you are there for her and if she needs it giver her a hug and let heer cry on your shoulder. Don't do it just once but again and again.