need help getting over girlfriends past

United States
January 29, 2007 2:16am CST
i don't even know where to begin... my girlfriend has had 1 serious relationship before me. i cant seem to deal with her past. i know who her ex-boyfriend is and he is a complete jerk. i cant seem to get her past out of my head, it keeps haunting me and i cant stop thinking about it. when it gets into my head it upsets me alot and i ending up cutting my wrist or inflicting pain on myself to stop the emotional pain. i don't want to break up with my girlfriend because i love her a ton but it has affected my life greatly and i have had different suicidal thoughts. i dont know what to do.... does anyone else have this problem?
4 responses
@dhigambaram (1133)
• India
5 Feb 07
hai .....!!I read ur problem nd dnt hav word to say anything....even i can understand wot ur feeling nd suffering .... I hav a problem but its not like this... Even u r lucky that u can talk nd share ur feelings with her...u can cry infornt of her ...But in my case in cant do like this .... i can do only one thing that stay away nd see her....becuase her parents dont believe in Love all the things...they things what parents decided is the best....for children ....for that they put her in a promise that she dnt want 2 contact with me....mens she nver keep any relation with me ....for that they send to Japan for her hihger studies....nd i was juss like u ...but nver did ny suicise type things..... i sufferd alot,mentally bav,sad is all in my life.....But my sadness nd unbalance things nd pray to God make a miracle in my life after 2 years gone but my gf didnt contacted me.....b'coz of promise But my stroy never ends here .... after 2 years also she didnt forget me .... finally she comes to india .... nd one day i catch with her friend,her friend is also a good friend of mine ..... nd finally now she in contact..... but meeting anything like that in my life ...its also paining me right but ....atls she is with me ....that all .... so friend altz 4get her past try 2 live in perents think about ur future .....Time will 4get every so dude love her so much .... after seeing ur love she cant stop her self nd c also badly fall in love with u ....!!
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
5 Feb 07
I don,t know quite how to respond to this ..It sounds like she had one relationship in the past...Have you ever had any relationships in your past?...I don,t mean to be so blunt but you will never meet anyone past 12 years old hardly that does not have a past..We all have had relationships in our lives but we left those relationships because we did not want them anymore..Your g/f did not want that relationship so she moved on...You need to only think of yours and her relationship,and get your mind on that and forget the past..He was a jerk and she knows that so thats why she is no longer with him...We are sometimes raised to think that we are only suppose to have ONE relationship forever,but if that relationship does not work ,we cannot stay the remainder of our life alone...If you really love this girl why does it matter?,does it make you love her less?I think since you are having so many problems with this that you need to seek some help by a therpst and find out what your hangups are based on,if not this will ruin this relationship and you will lose her...She does not care about that other guy or she would be with him,she loves you,and you are her life now,so think about that..I really am sorry that you are having all these problems and I know it is not your fauilt,but in order to deal with this and help yourself you really need to talk to a professional...Please do this for you,and you do not have to be insecure because she loves you and is with YOU...
• Philippines
4 Feb 07
You know what bro. if you really love your girlfriend you'll accept all of her past. Try not to think about it. Even she dont like her past either i bet, but you know if there's one person who is really have to be affected? that is supposed to be your girlfriend because she is in that situation. So instead of emoting, thinking of something like this or like that because you are affected by your girlfriend's past why dont you instead console her. Let her feel how much you love her despite of what happen. Past is past you can never changed that because it already happened try to view something important in your life.
@willocfc (963)
• Australia
3 Feb 07
I think the problem is that you are insecure and thats something you have to work out, its not fair on her to throw her past back in her face, we all have pasts and there is nothing you can do to change it. If it is affecting you that much then maybe you need to leave the relationship as its not fair on either of you to live that way