School Bullies

Grand Junction, Colorado
January 29, 2007 2:38pm CST
My daughter was telling me this weekend that one of her friends was beaten up by a group of freshman at her high school and they broke her arm in 2 places. Apparently this group of girls think that they are really tough. They must be really tough as it took the whole group to gang up on 1 girl. My daughter goes to a school in one of the best neighborhoods in our city. And while we didn't expect these children to be perfect I really didn't expect something like this. So can someone tell me what do parents teach there children about fighting nowadays?
7 people like this
18 responses
@XxAngelxX (2830)
• Canada
5 Feb 07
Bullying these days has reached unbelievable proportions. It seems every time you open the paper or read the news (or come to mylot) we are hearing stories of how bad it has gotten. I have taught my children that it is wrong to start a fight, but I don't want them to let someone beat them up either. It may be wrong of me, but I have told my children if they are being hit and there is no one around to help them, to hit back.
3 people like this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
5 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. I have taught my children the same, that starting fights are wrong, but to defend is okay. Good luck to you here at mylot!
• United States
5 Feb 07
i taught my girls how to stand up for themselves, and to fight if necessary..my oldest daughter used force on two occasions...once when she was in 2nd grade i believe...a little boy took her star that she earned and wouldn't give it back...she kicked the boy, hard...i was called in to the office and i simply said, "so what's the problem?"..my daughter was not punished for this act by me, i actually praised her after she told me everything... the second time she punched a boy in the nose on the school bus for picking her little sister, again i was called in and again i stood up for her...i think there is a time for pacifism and a time for action..
2 people like this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
5 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. I only agree to fighting when it is fighting back. Talking things over if at all possible should always be the first choice, fighting should only be as a last result and only then when the other person started it. That's my opinion. Good luck to you at mylot!
• United States
5 Feb 07
I teach my kids that fighting doesn't solve problems. I also let them know that sometimes you can't avoid them. The ganging up is all over the world. Half the time it was over something stupid, or even aimed at the wrong person. I do feel that things have escalated a bit since I was a kid.
• Grand Junction, Colorado
5 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. I agree fighting doesn't solve problems. It has escalated to beatings and even deaths over kids shoes. Good luck to you here at mylot!
@lifeis2good (1183)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Oh my gosh - what a shame to hear about that poor girl!!! And you are so right - to have a group of girls beat up 1 girl - they must be seriously jealous of her for some reason - that's usually where it stems from unfortunately these days!!! Really makes you wonder what does it make them feel on top of the world by being in a group beating up 1 single person!! And gee what kind of parents would you think those girls are being raised by - either they are being taught that it's cool to fight no matter what the reason or maybe they don't have much parental contact!!! That is always sad to hear about but unfortunately these days it sure seems to be happening quite often - especially with the ones that think it's cool to plan something like this just to film it and put it on the net for everyone to see!!! It's just plain disgusting!!! Hopefully the school as well as the local law enforcement will deal with this situation the right way by punishing them both criminally as well as at school!!!! I often wonder how many school districts these days just turn their head because they don't want to deal with these situations!!! I hope the girl is able to heal well and can have the courage to go back to school without worrying that it's going to happen again!! Hope your daughter remains a dear friend to her!!!!
• Grand Junction, Colorado
31 Jan 07
My daughter has been great. The girls have been suspended and that is about it. The parents are filing suit against the group hopefully the authorities will also become involved. I truly don't think that it matters what the cause of the fight was about, when a group beats up on one person it is just wrong. Not that I think that if it would have been a 1 on 1 fight that it would have been any better, but a group is just plain wrong. Than you for your response. Good luck here on mylot.
1 person likes this
@deedles88 (297)
• Australia
5 Feb 07
Yeah, they sound super tough. I went to school with girls like that. So tough that they need 10 of them, to gang up on 1 person. Just tell your daughter the truth, tell her that fighting rarely solves anything. The children who do it are so insecure about themselves that they need to show 'power' over others to make themselves feel good.
2 people like this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
5 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. I was pretty fortunate that I never encountered those types of people in school. Good luck to you here at mylot!
• United States
5 Feb 07
How sad, it is sad to see that these girls are lacking something in their lives(love...attention...ect...) That is probably the problem, the parents are not at home to talk to these kids.
2 people like this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
5 Feb 07
Thank you for your response. I agree with you. Good luck to you here at mylot!
@dana234 (2114)
• Spain
11 Feb 07
I´m really sorry about what happened to your daughter. She must have gone through so much pain, poor girl. Unfortunately there´s never a garantee that this kind of cowardish, criminal behaviour won´t happen, no matter how good the school is. I don´t think the parents of those girls taught them anything about fighting, (it´s not my intention to defend the parents), they probably don´t gave them much of an education at all. They´re most likely expecting the school to do that job. Or those girls are used to violent behaviour at home. I think the girls should be expelled from school, that´s the least thing a good school can do to give an example to the pupils. And the parents of the girls might have to do some work to get their daughter´s accepted at another school.
@koikoikoi (1246)
• United States
12 Feb 07
Well what can we say. Their is no more safety in this world even from ourselves. Have we forgotten that we're all humans. It is so sad that we're turning against each other like this. The only way to prevent it is from not starting anything with anyone, no problems, no trash-talking, no picking. That's how violence grows into more violence.
2 people like this
@suedarr (2382)
• Canada
29 Jan 07
That is just horrible! At my daughter's school there is a zero tolerance policy in regards to bullying and these girls would all be expelled. It is effective. They also have a peacemakers program, that allows students to help other classmates resolve issues before escalating to violence. I hope these girls are charged criminally, and yeah it does make you wonder about the parents.
2 people like this
• Grand Junction, Colorado
29 Jan 07
Thank you for your response. I'm trying to find out what happened to the girls. I thought that there was a zero tolerence at her school also, but am begining to wonder. I have gotten to many different answers as to what happened to the other girls.
@sunnypub (2128)
• United States
11 Feb 07
This goes past bullying ans straight into criminal assualt. I hope the parents do file criminal charges against these girls. I also think the school should have expelled them not just suspend them. The sad thing is, that no matter where you go there are going to be people like this. It is a part of life that we just cannot get away from. Many people thnk that violence is the answer but I don't. I agree with fighting back if there is no way for you to walk away, but walking away should be done first in my opinion. I think it takes a lot more strength and character to walk away than it does to fight back. I am teaching my daughter that violence is only a last resort. I think it is important for her to know how to defend herself, but equally important to know when is the right time to use violence.
@Jude68 (34)
• United States
14 Feb 07
I teach my children that there are two kinds of people in this world; people who have love to give and people who need love. It's easy to spot those who don't have love to give, but who are crying out for it. Find creative ways to show love. If you look at people this way, it will be easy to find solutions. Make sure you love your own children unconditionally so that they have plenty of love to give. Remember that there's always a reason that people do what they do. Everybody starts out perfect. Then life happens or genetics or both.
@Debs_place (10520)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Hey beani, how about an update on this situation! My son was always a little runt, I taught him but to fight, that it is wrong, but at the same time I also took him to Karate class, just in case. In 2nd grade I think it was, he got suspended from school for fighting, the prinicipal said my son started it. Yup, he was picking on the 5th graders. When I asked him what happened, the 5th graders were taunting a kindergarten girl, they had done it before and she started crying. No one was doing anything to stop it or help her. He went in, to help her. He got in trouble. Well the little child, went in and told the principal, that if the playground monitors and teachers were watching the kids instead of talking, he would not have had to do that. His suspension was lifted. Well you know what I taught my kid about fighting! I think I did ther right thing.
2 people like this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
29 Jan 07
That's aweful to here and even more disturbing to think about as my daughter gets older. I hope this girls parents went to the school the police and the other kids parents with this. Hopefully the school has a "zero tolerance" policy. I think with some things kids need to work out thing between themselves, but when it comes to outright assault I think the parents need to step into the situation and take control.
• Grand Junction, Colorado
29 Jan 07
I couldn't agree more.
• United States
12 Feb 07
My family taught me to not fight. That fighting would always be on my record and possible a problem for myself in the future. But I think that is awful, they aren't so tough if it took that many people to gang up on one girl. Poor thing.
@cisco1 (539)
• United States
11 Feb 07
How sad is that. I dont think parents teach their children anymore about fights. I think they dont think of it and its not important to talk about it. To teach them you have to teach them when they are real young and not when they are old. You know how teenagers are. LOl It goes through one ear and out the other.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Mar 07
very often parents are too busy keeping up their standard of living and both parents work long hours with little time to spend with children. this is often especially so in affluant areas like the one you describe. there is probably very little communication. also teens and pre teens are bombarded by media which is soaked with violence. i hope the cops are involved as this goes way past petty bully incedent and moves into felony assault. both victim and perps need counseling and the perps need punishment. the perps need meaningful punishment tho, that lets them know the consequenses of violent action that can shock the matter into their pop music addled brains. it would seem the parents could use a wake up call about the road their kids are treading too.
• United States
1 Apr 07
I don't know what parents are teaching the kids. I do know that when I was in school the farthest anything was taken was to push and shove. I hope that these girls are kicked out of school for this!
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Mar 07
It's probably more of the paren'ts not teaching their children anything, as opposed to teaching them fighting. If the kids have noone to show them right from wrong, they will learn it on their own and from other kids. Maybe the girls are beaten at home and have learned that to gain power and respect, they must inflict pain and fear.
1 person likes this