smoking around children

@dfinster (3528)
United States
January 29, 2007 2:43pm CST
I really need some help with this problem. My husband and I both smoke which I'm not proud of to begin with. We don't smoke in our house and go out to the garage when we do smoke. But, my husband has the horrible habit of smoking in the car whenever we go somewhere, even when our 8 year old daughter is in the car. I've tried talking to him so many times I can't count and it's started several arguments between us over the years. I've told him about the horrible effects of secondhand smoke, etc..yet he still continues this harmful behavior. Is there anything I could do or say that might get it through his head how harmful this is for our child and get him to stop? Help!
15 people like this
118 responses
• United States
30 Jan 07
I simply would not let my child in the car with him. There is no excuse in, my opinion, for smoking around a child. It may cause problems between the two of you but at least your child's health wouldn't be in danger then!
2 people like this
• India
30 Jan 07
better go to the doctor they will give some medicines to avoid smoking habit.
2 people like this
• Malaysia
30 Jan 07
i think you can pray first, and leave your discussion to God. and ask God for ideas how to persuade him. then, u can engage into a very serious and touching discussion with him, and tell him what's inside your mind. but before this, i thnk you can prepare a good dinner!
2 people like this
@threena (131)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
You are right, secondhand smoke can cause a lot of problems. It could even lead to lung cancer. If he does smoke a lot near your daughter, I'm sure you would notice some breathing problems in her already. Try taking her to your pediatrician, then tell your husband of the results. If he still doesn't let up, then I guess he doesn't care about her. He's putting your kid's life at risk.
2 people like this
@cowboys33 (421)
• Australia
30 Jan 07
smoking is a terrible thing to do. doing it around children is just as bad. in my opion dont smoke because it is quite a bab thing to do.
2 people like this
@karan9 (20)
• Thailand
30 Jan 07
the most important thing is to put things in a graphical way so as to drill the image into his mind that his smoke is killing ur daughter. leave it at this for some time and he should start to think about it. then u maust start the initiative to quit smokin and after some time when he realises that u are tryin he will try to follow and quit smoking. moreover your daughter is at a very crucial age where everything that she hears or sees is absorbed and so u must explain to her the ill effects of smokin etc etc i hope this helps
@sureshmoe (974)
• India
30 Jan 07
This is the bad habit of your husband...first smoking is one of the bad habit and smoke infront of the children is very very bad habit...Tries him to avoid the smoking or atleast to avoid the smoking infront of the children because it leads the path of your children to go in wrong way in future. One important thing is the disease say cancer affects the first person who stand neighbour to the smoker...then next only smoker gets the disease...
2 people like this
@skyblade (482)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Both of my parents smoke and take it from someone who has tried to get someone to stop doing it....they won't stop doing it unless it is THEIR decision. It might help if you, yourself quit smoking altogether. At least it would help set a good example....and you'll feel a lot better. You can only really change the things YOU do and have control over.
@skyblade (482)
• United States
29 Jan 07
P.S. I'd worry more about the effects of first-hand smoke before worrying about secondhand smoke.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thanks for the response. I've tried to quit in the past and still keep trying. I just pray my husband will be trying in the near future because I think it will be easier if we do it together.
@maryannemax (12156)
• Sweden
29 Jan 07
i agree with skyblade. somehow, you should try harder to quit smoking. it's really difficult from the start. but with much perseverance and willingness, you can do it. don't wait for your husband to quit with you. if he can't now, then you start it. atleast, you'll gonna be a good example for him and your child.
1 person likes this
@jenbatres (799)
• United States
30 Jan 07
I would show him some information on second hand smoke. Smoking in the car is worse than in the house -- she can't leave the car, in the house she can go to another room. In some states this is now considered child abuse, I think more states should follow. Best of luck to you, may your daughter have clean lungs.
2 people like this
• United States
30 Jan 07
Let him wach the truth commercials. They have a way of showing how dangerous smoking is.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
4 Mar 07
I like those commercials too.
@whybird (111)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Ask him if he wants his daughter to have asthma, die of lung cancer or any other illness that comes from second hand smoke. or tell him he can smoke in the car but ONLY when the daughter isn't there. but for the health of your daughter he needs to grow up and realize that it's not all about him and what he wants. He does have the right to smoke, your daughter however has the right to not breath the air that he pollutes. And he needs to see it that way. Sorry if this is harsh, but you did ask.
@emeraldisle (13139)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Smoking does not cause asthma. It can irritate and bring on symptoms but it does not cause it. Actually children of smokers are less likely to have allergic asthma. http://www.data-yard.net/30/asthma.htm
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
This answer is right on. I was getting ready to write a response then I saw this. If he cares about her then he will stop this behavior. My father used to smoke when I was little so I can understand this. Trust me, your daughter is not enjoying these rides in the car. It stinks and makes it hard to breath when you are little. Good luck.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
29 Jan 07
Thanks for responding. I don't feel you answer is harsh at all I think it's honest and I like that. That's why I like this site. I'll talk to him about some of the things you've mentioned.
@Gmens91 (389)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
You won't get him to stop until YOU do. I'ts a look-who's- talking thing.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
4 Mar 07
You're absolutley right.
@ginagee (843)
30 Jan 07
I don't understand why he would smoke in the car yet not in the house. Doesn't he realise that as the car is such an enclosed space that your daughter is affected even more so by the smoke?? I'm sorry to say that I think your husband is being very selfish and thoughtless about such an important issue. I smoke at home but only outside and never, ever in a car, not with any non smokers let alone children. Ask him why he thinks it doesn't have any effect if he is in the car. Maybe when you get more responses about this matter you should get him to read them all and then he may realise what he is doing!!
1 person likes this
@ginagee (843)
30 Jan 07
Well so far you've received 92 responses so that should be a good indication that what he is doing is wrong, get him to read through them so he may then understand. good luck!
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 07
It is very easy to quit smoking just carry always wet matches. regards satya
1 person likes this
• India
30 Jan 07
The wet matches, dries soon.
1 person likes this
@seabreeze (659)
• China
30 Jan 07
The secondhand smoke effect around people.Of course,also effect your children.You can give that your husband eat abstain-smoke candy.also,you can join abstainer club.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
4 Mar 07
Thanks he could definately use a support group outside of just us at home.
@onesiobhan (1327)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
I am asthmatic and I have terrible lung problems. In part that's because my parents constantly smoked around me. There are places that are seriously considering passing legislation to have this treated as child abuse. If he refuses to stop you may have to go as far as not letting him drive her around any more. He is endangering her health with his actions.
1 person likes this
• United States
30 Jan 07
I have actually heard that some states in the US did pass the law that it is child abuse. I believe Lousianna is one of the states, and you can't even smoke in the car if you haul chilren at any time -- even if the kids are not in.
2 people like this
@tinkutr (382)
• India
29 Jan 07
Tell your daughter to ask her father what he get from smoking? And what she can get if she start it. I think this will hurt him a bit. But may be useful
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
30 Jan 07
This is a short and sweet answer and one that I didn't think of before. I think this is a great idea and will be trying it out. Thanks so much.
@soumyaraj (401)
• India
30 Jan 07
hi d, i really understand ur concern . Is there someone whom ur hubby listens to??? why dnt u tell that prsn to mk him understand ? or bettr still u can tk him to a couseller..
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thank you for your comment. I'll try to feel out other people he associates w/ and see if one of them will speak to him about the problem.
29 Jan 07
Well.....I don't smoke however I know that my dad gave up smoking before I was born, I feel that children will develop a certain curiosity if they see they parents smoking. It sounds like you both realise the effects of smoking and know you shouldn't do it, yet the gain from smoking seems to be enough to outweigh the damage you will be doing to your daughters health. You both need to find something else to do, fill those cravings, don't just stop (its not healthy and can lead to problems, cut down. Try going into your garage once in the morning and once at night. Until you think you are ready to cut down even more. Not only will you be damaging your daughters health you need to think about your health, your daughter doesn't want to grow up to see her mum and dad with cancer? Although an effective way of putting her off smoking not the most pleasent. I think you both need to take step back and look at the pro's and con's, lets be honest, the only pro is the private benefit, fulfulling your craving not only selfish but harmel. Come on...THINK ABOUT IT
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
30 Jan 07
Thanks for the response. I don't smoke around my daughter at all meaning in the house or car, and am trying to quit.
@lowey01 (223)
• Philippines
30 Jan 07
I myself am a smoker and planning on getting a lung x-ray. No doubt about it there is already some side effects which is visible with the x-ray. And maybe I would get discouraged when I see it and would stop smoking. Maybe you should do the same.
1 person likes this
@dfinster (3528)
• United States
4 Mar 07
My husband hates going in for a check up. Now I thnk it's because he's afraid of the doctor getting on him about his smoking.