My relationship

United States
October 9, 2006 5:34pm CST
My past relationships have always led to serious forms of abuse. Very very verbally abusive and also very physically abusive. I have been in a relationshp now for 6 months and sometimes I am not so happy with it and feel like I am being underappreciated. I would like some advice and second opinions on whether or not this relationship is somewhat healthy or whether I should get out while I can.
1 person likes this
16 responses
• United States
21 Oct 06
I must get this within the next days or i'll end u - I must get this within the next days or i'll end up so badly!
I agree, I think counseling would be of great benefit to you. Judging by your past relationships you have not always put yourself first. The fact that you are asking for help in this relationship and that you are expecting to be happy and appreciated is a very good thing. Something to remember, you do not have to be in a relationship to be happy and fulfilled. If your relationship is taking away from your happiness, then it is probably not a good one.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Yup, I was happier before I was in this relationship.
• United States
22 Oct 06
If that is the way you feel, I think you should consider ending the relationship. You never know what could be waiting for you around the corner - someone truly wonderful or something truly wonderful that you could not take advantage of while in this relationship. At the very least, start doing what make you happy. And start demanding that your partner gives you, in return, as much as you give him.
@krishna183 (2284)
• India
21 Oct 06
well then you seriously need to consider ur relations before becoming serious about them
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Yup thank you
@prasad1961 (5597)
• India
19 Oct 06
You are very positive to win the situation. Just wait for your turn. God will set things right for you. Already you have choosen to win every time. So you're on the card for getting right now from God. Take care.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Thank You you are right
• India
21 Oct 06
the relationship is over once you starts to have doubts.. there is no point in continuing.. better now than never
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Yes, when you start to have doubts and continue to have doubts, then its probaly not best that you stay in the relationship.
• United States
21 Oct 06
i think you need to think about your past relationship where you were put through verbal and pysical abuse then think of the relationship you are in now and see if there are things in common with both then you need to decide if that is what you want with your life
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Thankyou, this guy was actually nicer than my past relationships, but he did put me down in some ways. So hes pretty much the same really.
@aureliaz (1177)
• Singapore
21 Oct 06
Like many of the responses above, I'd say go see a counsellor. Because I think your previous regrettably abusive relationships have already tainted and distorted on your views of what constitutes a relationship. Trust and love. Please, leave your boyfriend as fast as you can if you feel that, after a long probing session, things will not turn around for the better. Don't let yourself stay in that state of misery..I think you deserve better and you should too~ All the best..
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Thank you
• India
21 Oct 06
Rock Climbing - On the rock.
the relationship is over once you starts to have doubts.. there is no point in continuing.. better now than never
1 person likes this
• India
21 Oct 06
the relationship is over once you starts to have doubts.. there is no point in continuing.. better now than never
1 person likes this
@jzcb87 (1797)
• United States
19 Oct 06
You really shouldn't be there, if stuff like that is going on. Just get out. That relationship is no where near healthy if he is abusing you, especially physically. You really need to get out of it before you get really hurt, or die...
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
This boyfriend actually has not physically abused me, but in ways he has mentally abused me.
@kokopelli (4842)
• United States
19 Oct 06
i guess you're not yet fully healed from your past hurts thus making you not ready for another relationship. you may need some time to find inner peace and forgiveness, both for your past lovers and yourself. no one can ever make you happy if you have unresolved issues deep within. i am not in any way an expert on ways to 'recover' but i've been there and i've overcome. you may start by being by yourself for awhile, free from any relationship, free from its demands and complications. this way you will be able to sort your feelings and get reconciled with inner self. then you'd be ready for the next, hopefully the right one.
• United States
22 Oct 06
You are absolutely right, I do need time with myself and only myself in order to heal my past relationships. Before this relationship I waited eight months until my next serious relationship. I thought that was long enough, but given the mental abuse I have token it it probaly was not enough time for me to chose the right mate.
• United States
19 Oct 06
Ask yourself why you expect different results when you continue to do the same thing. YOU are chosing your partner. YOU need to find out why you are making the choices that you are. Sometimes we need outside help. It is difficult to be objective about the most subjective situations of our life.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
I know I am choosing my partner. I can't help but to only love the ones I love you know? When they say you only want what you cant get, I think that is my problem sometimes, I like the chase. And it definitely gets the best of me sometimes. Thankyou.
@sbeauty (5865)
• United States
19 Oct 06
The whole point of dating prior to marriage is to get to know people and find out if this is the kind of person you want to spend your life with. If you're having doubts now, get out and look elsewhere.
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
I agree
• United States
19 Oct 06
If you are unhappy think hard about getting out, it sounds like you have had a hard road when it comes to relationships and deserve to find someone to appreciates you. If you stay with them and it isnt to be you are just prolonging it and it will probably get worse. Hope everything gets better for you
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Thank you so much, so far it has
• United States
19 Oct 06
I think it would help you greatly to educate yourself on what makes a relationship work. You might want to go to a consulor. Some people think they don't really help but they do!!
1 person likes this
• United States
22 Oct 06
Yeah, I have actually been seeing a counseler since I was 17. But I have not seen her for a year so I am going to schedule an appointment as soon as possible. She will actually be happy of my progress in the past year.
@linkpointe (1003)
• Philippines
21 Oct 06
People always find happiness, and if you don't think you're not happy anymore, why keep on hanging around? Be true to yourself and to the person involved. That way, you'll end up as friends with no hurt feelings.
• United States
22 Oct 06
Thank you
• Philippines
23 Oct 06
You're welcome...and here's wishing you to find the right person for you...
@bayboy (986)
• United States
21 Oct 06
I dont know how to do this yet!
1 person likes this