Would you tell people he was your father?
January 30, 2007 11:01pm CST
I grew up not knowing my father. Although I know he spent some time with me and my mom, he just visited not even overnight and not even that often. All this I can vaguely remember as a very young child and he stopped visiting maybe before I was ten. During that time I only thought he was out of the country working. Not until I was ten was I told that he had a family with 3 children, two are older than I, I was his third child and another followed. What's more awkward is his youngest child is less than one year younger than me and we almost were in the same university. As for "my" older siblings, one 2 years older the other 3 years older, we have common friends and I am often associated with them because I also carry the family name. And since the family is very prominent (and the lineage is small), I am always asked about them. And again, all this time I have kept to myself, within my own circle of friends and the things I do, I have led a happy simple life, far from the riches of the dad that has tried to deny me these past few years and the spoiled life I might have led. Now that I have graduated and working, would it be rude for me to admit that he is my father? I mean, for all the years that I have been studying, I'd get asked about him but I try to deny knowing them for the fear of being "found out". Just thinking of the possible repercussions of other people knowing makes me feel that it's a secret I should always keep. But then it's not a burden I don't want to carry anymore. I don't even know if my half-brothers and half sister know about me. My cousin even told me that I should introduce myself to my half-siblings just for them to find out. All I know is that I have turned out a better person, growing up with my mom, and my step-dad and younger brother, and I hope he gets the message, I'm better off without him.
1 person likes this
11 Mar 07
It sounds to me like you want a life with your extended family or at least to meet them. I think you owe it to yourself to do whatever your heart is telling you to do. Don't let anyone decide this for you or else you will have regrets. We can not change the way people behave, but we can control the way we relate to them. Denying that this man is your father is a lie, he IS your father. Don't be ashamed of who you are or what your family is, who cares what other people think. My father left when I was very young, in fact I don't remember him at all. I would love the chance to get to know him. I don't even know if he is still alive. No matter how many people we call mom or dad, we only have one of each. Those are the ones that brought us into the world. He is human and humans are prone to mistakes. Give him a chance.