rate my poem out of 10
January 30, 2007 11:55pm CST
here s a poem which i wrote for my sweetheart whe he broke his promice "before i show him ds poem i want u all to rate it " and tell me hows it cuz ds s for d 1st time i ve ever tried to pen down my emotions. so here it goes When i am dead nd is being taken away my Lord dnt let him come near me, no matter i am dead but if being touched by him, my HEART will atill ache for him, my eyes will still feel d pain to see him for the last time, and my arms will again want to hold him tight, So when i am dead dnt let him come near me My Lord, when i am dead and is being taken away, please take me to a graveyard where i can be burried, i dnt want to be burnned, because he stays in my HEART and i dnt want my Sweetheart to be burned into ashes, many frends will come and will plant flowers on my grave,and when he will come i will always like to present him those flowers, but i know i will not be able to do dat, So when i am dead dnt let him come near me My Lord, when ever he will visit my grave he will bent down to kiss me,and when i wuld like to return d kiss i will feel dat my arms are tied, i cannot move and i am stuck, So when i am dead dnt let him come near me My LOrd, and incase Lord u allowed him to come dnt let him yell , let him cry softly and let his tears fall on my lips so that i can drink them, let him hold my mud in his hands and let him feel dat i am gone ....gone forever, and let his ears hear a single question from my soul "WHY DID U BREAK UR PROMICE " DARLING I know this will hurt him and i dnt want to do this.... So when i am dead dnt let him come near me My Lord.
2 people like this
14 Feb 07
Wow! I can say you deal a great effort of writing this poem and the words are full of meanings. I can rate this an 8 for it has some minor glitches but when a poem came from the heart and the message is with significant it is something to compliment it. Goodluck! and welcome to myLot! Happy valentines day too.