Transferring guardianship of Autistic sibling ...
By momokoseiya
@momokoseiya (453)
United States
January 31, 2007 3:26pm CST
My mother has a difficult decision to make, and I would love to get your insight on it.
My youngest sister is Autistic. She is 22 years old, and very low functioning. My mother has taken care of her since birth. My mother is getting old and her health is failing, and she is considering putting my sister into a home for autistic adults.
This saddens me because I love my sister. I know that my mom can't care for her any longer, and I don't want my sister in a home. I want to ask my mother to transfer guardianship over to me, but I fear I may step on my older sister's toes. She wants guardianship, but she does not even have a job, and still lives with my mother. If my mother should pass away, she would have no way to care for her, since she does not work.
I would like your opinions on this. What should I do?
2 people like this
5 responses
@jaredlp (418)
• United States
2 Feb 07
first of when looking for a long term home look around a lot not everyone is the same. Ask to speak with other gaurdians and even others recieving services if possible. As far as not wanting ur sister in a "home" i can understand that, unforcanatly that is the image that has be given to most people. Working in a "home" i can tell u in some places its anything but the sterotype. In many cases it allows for families to take a "break" and also allow ur sister to experance new things in life and gain a little independance. that doesnt mean that family stops being invovled it means still go visit as often as u want and still advocate as much as possible. And at least in PA and AK i know that gaurdianship isnt handed over just because u have a new caregiver
@momokoseiya (453)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I know, it's just that she is so low functioning and can't even speak. I worry that if she is unhappy there, she won't be able to tell me. I don't want her to be unhappy for the rest of her life. And even if she doesn't want to stay there, I'll never know because she can't speak.
I am so conflicted on this issue. Thanks for your input though. It's good to see that some places have excellent, dedicated workers =)
@payingforschool (678)
• Canada
1 Feb 07
I think that the best interest of your younger sister is the most important thing - not the emotions of your older sister. That may sound cold, but it is true. If you feel you would be a better guardian for your younger sister, then make the application. The courts will decide. Your older sister will come to understand that you were acting out of love for your younger sister. Good luck.
@momokoseiya (453)
• United States
2 Feb 07
Thank you so much. I plan on fighting for her. And I agree with you on this one. She is thinking with her heart and not with her head. She can't financially support another individual.
@clownfish (3272)
• United States
1 Feb 07
Hi! I agree! You should go for guardianship if you want to. The court system will make the ultimate decision, and I don't think they would award custody to your older sister if she has no work history. You are the best choice since you have the means to support her. You are an angel for wanting to take care of your sister! Let us know what you decide! We're all behind you! :-)
@albert2412 (1782)
• United States
11 Feb 07
Your sister would be a lot better off with you. A home for adult autistics would probably not do very much for your sister. Your sister needs you to take care of her and to try and get her well. You might read some of my other posts about autism. Autism is treatable.
@allshookup (598)
• United States
1 Feb 07
I think that if you believe guardianship under you is best for her, than you should fight for it until the end. Your other sister will just have to understand that it's what you think is right, and who is anyone to tell you not to fight for what you know you are qualified for and what you think is right? It's also not all up to you, so you won't be to blame if guardianship doesn't go to her. You go girl! Your sisters are lucky to have you.
@momokoseiya (453)
• United States
2 Feb 07
I know it's not up to me, but I wish it was! It's frustrating to see that I can't stop what's going to happen.
